Covered in Daydreams
by kabukimono
Summary: As Ringabel's memories return, they threaten to overwhelm not just him, but the rest of the party as they struggle to keep him sane. Edea makes a decision late one night, one that she hopes will help - only to find it harms them both. But she refuses to regret that decision, as unprepared as they were... not just for that night, but the months that follow. Spoilers for ch 5 and up.
1. Without Suppressing Our Desire

This fic contains mentions and vague descriptions of (awkward) sex. All characters are 18 years or older.

**Also contains MAJOR SPOILERS for Ringabel's past (which are revealed in ch 6) and events past chapter 4.**

The major pairing is Ringabel/Edea but it's not meant to be a happily ever after scenario. No easy romance here. Bad decisions, dealing with those, and growing up. Cover art by Satokivi (pixiv userid 192969).

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><p>They had been through so much. Heartache and betrayal and the death of so many. They were her precious friends, even Ringabel, and she would do anything to make sure they were safe and as comfortable as their lifestyle and journey could make them.<p>

Anything… at least that's what she wanted to tell herself.

Edea groaned and rubbed a cold towel over her face, especially over her tired, aching eyes. Ringabel's memories were returning full force, and they were overwhelming him - overwhelming them all. There was only so much he could physically take before headaches consumed him and he was lost in a storm of memories. He slept either heavily or not at all, depending on how exhausted he was, and the three of them had spent more than one night trying to keep him stable without resorting to drugs or drink. They worried that his memories might drown out the present, and that he would forget who he was now, and…

"Edea?" Agnès asked, yawning. Last night had been another night filled with little sleep, until Ringabel had succumbed to his own exhaustion, head pillowed on Tiz's shoulder. Tiz had then promptly fallen asleep himself, and Agnès and Edea had followed, waking up in a pile like a bunch of sleepy, cranky kittens.

"I'm fine, Agnès…" Edea replied, yanking a brush through her mane of hair. "It's just - how much can any of us take?" Ringabel's sanity was on the line, but so was their own. Agnès needed rest, and Airy had been complaining so much lately about all the time spent trying to get some sleep and not awakening crystals, it was maddening. Tiz was running himself ragged by trying to care for them all, and Edea was feeling the pressure of being Ringabel's anchor.

"You know that he hates it as much as we do," Agnès replied, picking up her own comb to run it through her long locks. "But he's been better, as of late. Perhaps the worst is over."

Edea huffed, disrupting some of the hair that had settled over her face, as she reached for her bow. "I don't know… some things are just difficult to get over." Loathe as she was to think about it, her death at the hands of a monster he couldn't fight, when he was so in love with her, was killing him inside. And even if she wasn't happy with the idea that he'd witnessed her murder, it wasn't as though she could go back and change the past - she had to deal with it, and felt it was the right thing to help him deal with it as well.

That's what she reminded herself that very evening as Ringabel draped over her, his sweaty face pressed into her shoulder. Her fingers ran through his damp hair, stroking and petting and helping to ground him as he whispered out her name again.

"I'm right here," she reminded him, covering his hand with her own and pulling it up to her neck so that he could feel her heartbeat thundering. "See?" His breathing quieted for a moment as he listened.

Tiz hovered in the doorway, having gone to fetch her when Ringabel wouldn't sleep. Tonight the older man seemed less upset, but the sleepless nights were catching up to him and he was practically boneless, even as he called for her.

"We'll be fine, Tiz," Edea called, and tugged Ringabel closer, hand slipping down to grasp the nape of his neck. "Keep Agnès company, won't you? She'd appreciate it." Ringabel's mass of hair kept her smirk hidden as the other boy flushed and looked away. "It'll be *_fine_*," She repeated. It wasn't as though Edea was in any danger - it was Ringabel that they were all worried about.

"Sorry," Ringabel mumbled in her ear, and he pulled away long enough to wipe his face with the edge of the blanket that was bundled under them, before rolling over slightly to face the shepherd. "If Edea is here with me tonight, won't that leave Agnès all by herself?" Headachey and stressed he might be, but he was bound and determined to match the pair as much as Edea was. She liked that. "You can't just leave a young lady alone at night! She might get cold. She might get nightmares. Monsters might come out of the close to assault her and - "

"Alright, I understand," Tiz cut him off with a frown. "But call me if you need anything…"

"We will," Edea promised, waving one hand at him. As soon as the door shut behind him, leaving Ringabel and herself alone in candlelit darkness, she flopped back onto the bed. It was Ringabel's bed, and it smelled like him, but also like sweat and sickness, much to her displeasure. Tomorrow, she thought, they were going to make him do laundry.

Ringabel turned to her, his hand sliding up her hip and bunching up the cloth of her nightgown. "You needn't stay with me tonight, if you wish… I think I'll be alright."

She groaned. "I'm already here. And besides, it'll be nice for those two to be alone, won't it?" They both laughed. "A nice romantic night, all by themselves…"

"Well, mostly… unless Airy decides to stay in Agnès' room tonight." Ringabel said, groaning lightly, his head throbbing at the mention of the fairy. He pushed past it, squeezing Edea's hip. "And? What about us? No romantic night for the two of us?"

She squirmed, and yanked at a strand of his hair. "Oh yeah, Ringabel. You're crying on me and covering me in snot and sweat. How romantic." And he was making her too warm and sweaty too, while he was at it.

The older man flushed, and shifted against her. "W-well, I - I do thank you. For being here."

It was the right thing to do, she reminded herself, and her hand slipped down his neck again, nails trailing against his upper back. "I'm here, so… try to get some rest."

There was some hesitation before he settled back against her, covering her with both himself and the blanket that he tugged over his shoulders. Despite herself, she groaned at the contact, feeling warm and comfortable under him, and her hands wrapped around his slim waist, hooking into the waistband of his sweatpants. At least they were fully clothed, she thought as he nestled his cheek against hers, but that didn't mean she couldn't feel just how warm and solid he was.

"Sleep now?" she murmured, and pressed her nose against his hair.

"Sounds good," he replied, his voice sounding a touch sleepy. She had no doubt he'd wake in the middle of the night, but at least she'd be there if he did, and at least they'd be able to get in some hours of sleep before it happened. She felt just as tired as he looked.

Some hours of sleep would be desperately needed, and Edea woke in the middle of the night when Ringabel cried out her name very close to her ear, startling her. She cradled his face in both of her hands, trying to steady him without waking him up - it was bad to wake up people with nightmares wasn't it? or was that sleepwalking? - and wishing that she had let Tiz stay in the room with them after all. Ringabel was crying, tears rolling down his face and splashing onto hers. The candles had burnt out by now, leaving her with just the moonlight that filtered in through the dusty windows. She could barely see him.

"Ringabel," she said softly, rubbing his swollen cheeks with her thumbs. "Ringabel, wake up. I'm right here. Your angel's right here."

She felt more than saw his eyelashes fluttering, his breath catching as he struggled to pull himself out of the nightmare. She knew from experience that her voice and her touch helped to ground him, remind him that Edea wasn't lost. That she was right in front of him. Alive, well.

He whimpered out her name again, and she pressed her lips against his forehead. "Alternis," she tried, saying something she only did if no one else were around. "Alternis, I'm here."

Some spark of recognition lit in his eyes, and he pulled himself more fully awake, breathing out a heavy sigh and drooping his head down to press their foreheads together. "Edea," he said quietly.

"I'm here," she repeated, forcing a smile, tired as it was. "Right here, Ringabel." And because she knew how much it helped him, she kissed his cheek. Immediately, she could feel the warmth flood his face.

"I'm fine," he said, and she felt him shift away, off of her, rolling to the side. She rolled over to watch him, as his fingers picked at the thin shirt he wore. his chest heaving. "Just - I'm fine."

Adrenaline was still pumping through her veins, so she didn't feel tired anymore… and she kicked at him with some irritation. "Stop saying that. You're not fine." People who were fine didn't have constant nightmares that left them screaming in despair. They didn't have headaches that knocked them out, or feel nauseated when remembering their past.

He moved his leg away from her. "Alright, I'm not fine," he snapped, and the tone of his voice was so different than usual that she was startled into silence. He seemed to notice. "I… I will be fine," he decided on instead. "With you at my side, I'm certain to be okay."

It wasn't like he wanted to be like this, she reminded herself, and she traced her hand down his top, feeling the sweat and heat. Alternis had always been so touchy about showing any weakness, and that was a trait Ringabel had as well - while he might whine and beg for attention for the smallest of things, he was quick to cover up his real pain.

Edea rolled over into him, wrapping an am around his waist. Though she couldn't quite see it, she could feel him tense and jump, his legs shifting nervously even as she slipped one of hers between them. "You'll be fine… someday," she said quietly, and she leaned her head against his shoulder. This, he seemed to be fine with, and his hand cautiously came up to thread through her hair. "But until then, I'll stay here." Where she was needed.

At least until the lack of sleep got to her, and she threw him out one of the windows. She fantasized briefly of doing so, reminding herself that he had already fallen from Grandship once, so she would have to do it while they were above water, or maybe from the Eschalot.

"You're smiling," Ringabel said cautiously.

Whoops. She giggled softly and wiggled against him. "Don't worry. I'm not plotting your demise, Ringabel." Somehow that didn't sound convincing… "Do you want to try and go back asleep?"

"I'd rather not," he sighed, and she could feel him grasp her tightly.

"What was it this time?" she asked after a moment of silence, curious. She knew that he relived her death over and over, and she could hear him screaming sometimes at night, the same scream that Alternis Dim in this last world had made when talking about her murder as well. But other times he seemed to dream of the others dying as well, or that she wasn't dead, just -

His grip on her grew tighter, almost painful, letting up only when she squeaked. His breath was shaky as he held her, remembering.

"You were… in my arms." he started, and she let him continue on his terms, waiting for him to feel strong enough, though her arm tightened around his waist to remind him that she was here, and she was fine. "Alive, but barely. Covered in blood. Calling my name. You - you said that I —"

It seemed he couldn't continue, and he pressed his face into her neck, sighing. She could feel hot tears drip down her throat to the bed. Soon enough, he was shaking with sobs again, groaning as a headache throbbed behind his eyes. As usual, Edea ran her fingers through his messy hair, hoping that she could calm him down so that he might eventually fall asleep - even if he didn't want to, he would have to eventually. Better that he sleep while she was there.

"Ringabel," she said quietly against his ear, her lips ghosting against the shell. "Right here, do you feel me? My heartbeat is right here."

"Mmhmm," he murmured, pressing closer. It was a little awkward, because he was so much bigger, but he could press his cheek against her pulse, and then with permission, his lips. It felt so intimate and always made her embarrassed, but it wasn't… a bad feeling. She liked it, even, his breath against her skin, not that she would ever tell him that. His mouth trailed from her pulse to her jaw and back down to her collarbone, and Edea felt a spark of heat in her stomach. Oh Crystals, not now of all times.

She was breathing heavily as she pushed him back, and he moved as though he were a cat, stretching out above her when she rolled onto her back. She'd never felt afraid under him before, and wouldn't now, but there was something a little different in the air between them now, something she didn't know what to make of. It was heavy and hot. Sweaty. She wrinkled her nose.

He was still trembling as she ran her hands up his arms to caress his shoulders. "You're a mess," she laughed, though gently. "Maybe we should get you into the bath."

Ringabel laughed as well, a sound she hadn't heard often as of late, and made her heart leap. "Will you come with? Scrub my back for me?"

"Don't push your luck," she mumbled, before her hands tugged him back down. He stretched out on top of her, and she could feel some of his bones crackle as he settled back on top. Warm, warm, warm… Edea groaned and looped one of her legs with his. This really wasn't helping, but he liked the closeness. He liked…

"Here," she said after a minute, listening to him breath raggedly in her ear, his hand trailing against her hip and up her torso. Her own hands were shaking as she pulled the hem of her nightgown up her legs and over her hips, then off of her torso entirely, waiting until he had pulled back before wiggling out of it. This might be a bad idea.

"E-edea…" Ringabel's face was practically glowing red, his eyes flickering over her form once before meeting her eyes.

"Don't get any ideas," she warned him, hands sliding to cover herself. She should have worn a thinner, shorter nightgown to begin with if she was going to share the bedcovers with someone else. "But it's too hot, and you - you like my heartbeat." The heartbeat that was hammering against her chest. He liked the feeling of her skin, too.

"Yes, I - yes, but I can't allow you to…" Ringabel paused, then stripped out of his own top, before dropping it on her. "I insist. Please, at least cover your chest."

She took his clothing gladly, not caring how it was nearly soaked through with sweat and smelled so much like him, pulling it over her head and down to her hips. He smiled somewhat nervously at her once she was covered, and his hand rested on her stomach.

"That's better," he murmured, though she didn't know who to, and she directed him to curl over her until his head was resting above her heart, his ear pressed into her skin. Once again she ran her fingers through his hair, trying to will him into resting. Ringabel could be amazingly stubborn at times, but as the night passed in agonizing silence she could feel him slowly relaxing, lulled into a sense of security by her heartbeat and her hands. His proximity wasn't helping the little fire that was still burning in her stomach, and she was beginning to feel a little uncomfortable, trying not to shift so much that she might disturb him.

"Are you still… not going to sleep?" she asked.

He said nothing, but shook his head. Edea let her head fall back against the pillows, breathing out in annoyance. What were they going to do? A quick glance outside the window told her that it was obscenely late and that pulling out some weapons to spar would probably get them yelled at, not to mention she was tired enough that the idea of leaving bed at all was extremely unpleasant. Even a nice hot bath seemed like too much work. She sighed.

He seemed to sense her frustration, and sat up, brushing some of his hair back from his face. "You can sleep in the other room, if you'd like," he offered with a gentle smile. "I'll stay up for a while yet, I think. Or if you'd like to stay here, I'll go to the bridge and - "

"No," Edea sitting up as well. "I promised Tiz I'd stay with you tonight. And I'm going to. One way or another, we are going to get some rest."

Ringabel frowned. "Edea, I do appreciate your being here. But -" Her finger against his lips cut him off.

"Shh," she told him, and this time she was the one who leaned her head against his shoulder. Ahhh, she was tired. She could feel him tensing before his arms slowly moved up to encircle her waist, drawing her closer until she was across his lap. Nice and warm, she thought, her fingers tracing against his bare back.

"You… should sleep," he told her, nuzzling a little at her hair. In response, she tightened her grip around him and he grunted.

"I can't just leave you like this," she whispered. It wasn't her fault that her counterpart in his world had died, and not her fault that his sanity had been compromised as a result of it. But - it wasn't his fault either. He was a very dear friend, and if it was her dead form that he was seeing when he closed his eyes, she had to do something.

She kissed him.

It was a little messy and rough, and her cheeks felt like they might fall off with how warm they felt, and their noses pressed together, but she kissed him. A part of her prayed it would put him at peace, that he would *_know_* that she didn't blame him for what happened, and a part of her - a part of her wanted to give him some measure of comfort.

Ringabel made an interesting, strangled sound against her lips as she pulled back, gnawing slightly at her bottom lip. She'd kissed him before - she'd kissed all of her friends in one way or another, but it was one thing to kiss him right after a battle when they were both covered in blood and she'd just been revived from a knock out, and another thing entirely to kiss him in a dark room when they were both half naked. Not one of her best ideas.

"Edea," he breathed, and she had started to reply when his mouth caught hers, and any reply she had fizzed out of her brain. She clung to him, and he clung to her, cradling the back of her head and keeping her close.

Kissing was a good way to tire him out, she thought distractedly as his mouth pressed against hers, again and again. When they had to pause for breath, his lips trailed away from hers and over her face, peppering it with kisses. They were tender and made her heart ache, and she closed her eyes. A moment later, she felt his lips press over them in turn.

"Try and sleep," she begged him, as his mouth pressed over hers again, followed quickly by his whine of protest. Of course, she'd just riled him up, she thought. He was a grown man, and a man completely in love with her, and here they were in the middle of the night, all alone, kissing… a thought occurred to her.

Experimentally, she leaned back, tugging him with her, and he went gladly, his mouth trailing over her jaw as they settled onto the bed. Even with how desperate for affection he seemed, she still felt safe beside him, though she finally stilled him as she cradled his face.

Kissing was an interesting thing. It made her feel a little warm inside, warmer than she'd already felt just being close to him. It had flushed his skin and made his eyes bright, and she stared into his gaze before she had to look away, embarrassed.

"Ringabel…" she said hesitantly, shifting a little under him. "Do you… do you…" Ugh. How to put this? Why had he grown out of his lecherous ways as his memories returned? Scrambling for some words that didn't sound awkward, she brushed her leg up between both of his and felt that physical indicator that he was just as aroused as she felt. Relief flooded her. So she hadn't been the only feeling heat build in her stomach from just kissing.

The brush against his manhood had snapped him out of whatever daze he'd been, perhaps brought him back to reality. "Edea, I, I—" She cut his stuttering off as she reached one hand between them to cup him through the fabric, a little morbidly curious.

"You're— you're getting hard," she laughed breathlessly, her fingers cradling him. Sometimes she'd kind of wondered what his member looked like, and now she could feel him twitching against her fingers, stiffening while she touched him. She even felt a little powerful, that she had such a sensitive, private part of him in hand and he was allowing her to touch it, running her palm down his length and back up. He was trembling as she caressed him, his weight supported on one forearm as his other hand squeezed her hip… and she shouldn't have been surprised when that hand slid over to stroke between her legs, two fingers sliding right into the junction where she felt warm and really, a little wet.

She was very, _very_ hot now, as she continued to touch him, her fingers curling around him through the thin fabric of his pants. She could feel his pulse against her fingers, right along his length, and could feel her own as his fingers explored her through the damp fabric of her panties.

_Oh Crystals,_ she thought as she drew her hand back only to slip into the waistband of his pants so that she could feel that heat she'd only had a hint of. This might be a good way to tire him out. And it didn't even involve getting out of bed.

Ringabel moaned out her name again, a sound that made her squeak, and she tightened her grip around him. "Do you -" She couldn't believe she was suggesting it, but his fingers had slipped the fabric of her panties aside and now she could feel him brushing against her sensitive sex with absolutely no barriers at all, and her body was very wanting. "Do you want - you know, to - to be in me?"

He kissed her, and she could feel him shaking as one of his fingers slipped inside of her. She groaned at the intrusion, lifting her hips and spreading her legs to encourage him.

"I - I don't know…" he breathed, and she cut him off with another kiss, and managed to drag his pants down one leg with her foot, exposing him further to her eager hand. "I don't want to hurt you."

For not knowing, he was doing a good job of keeping her wanting him anyway, she thought, as he added another finger to the one already inside, gently wiggling them around as his thumb started to flick at her center. "I'm asking you," she reminded him with a quiet moan. "It's not going to hurt me. And I want you… I want you to feel good," she pleaded. And to help him. It might calm down some of his nightmares if he had her like this. If he could feel just how alive she was?

She dragged his other hand away from the bed and onto one of her breasts, smiling at him as he got a clue and pinched her nipple through the fabric of the shirt - his shirt.

"Only if you promise me," he breathed, already moving out her reach so that he could lower his mouth to her chest, his tongue dragging across the fabric above her breast before he took one nipple into his mouth. "That you — you really want this."

"I promise," she said, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and at least grinding her leg against his manhood if she couldn't use her hand. "I really want this. So please…" she trailed off. She just wanted to make sure he was comfortable and safe and _sane_. Giving herself to him seemed like a good option, right now. It was something they could share with no one else.

If she thought her kiss had been awkward, that was nothing compared to when he finally pressed inside of her some moments later, after the two of them had been divested of their pants and underthings. She kept his shirt on, but it was pulled up to expose her breasts, breasts that she pressed against him as they joined. It - it didn't _hurt _but it was uncomfortable, being stretched so completely. Her legs spread a little more in an attempt to alleviate the discomfort, Ringabel's hands clutching her thighs.

"Does - does it hurt?" he asked, hearing her groan.

"No," she said quickly, drawing her nails up his back as she clung to him. "It's just - you feel really big." Guys liked to hear that, didn't they?

Ringabel pressed his face against her hair, his muscles tense as he waited for her to adjust. She felt a little overly stretched and wondered if he could feel that, if he could tell that she might be lying just a little bit. Eventually though, her body adjusted to him, and she could feel his heartbeat thundering through her. She groaned.

"Ringabel, please," she breathed, kissing at his shoulder. "I asked you to - so please, just - " She cut off with a little noise as he moved, slipping out and then pressing back in, and that had felt so good she nearly forgot all about her previous discomfort. Why hadn't she gotten him to move before, she wondered as he repeated the motion again and again, slow at first and then a little faster, a little harder.

For her first time, this was pretty good. She was warm and so comfortable and sleepy, and the man who was with her was someone who loved her dearly, a love that was felt in each of his actions. Even if his strokes were erratic and at times hesitant. Even if he slipped out a few times, stopping to press himself back in and kiss her. Even if it flustered him entirely when her legs wrapped around his waist, breaking his rhythm until he regained it. Even if the noises their joining bodies made were obscenely loud, coupled with their cries of pleasure, and she worried for a moment that their friends would hear. Even if he nearly dropped her on the bed at one point, and they had to pause to gather enough blankets to gather them under her hips for leverage. And even if, all too quickly…

"Edea," he moaned her name as he kissed her again, his lips trailing across her feverish face. "I'm going to - I'm about to - "

She kissed him in return, smiling. "It's okay. You can come in me if you want," she told him, because she felt too good to have him to break the pace or pull out… she didn't know if she'd be able to reach climax, but it felt amazing even if she didn't. Pleasure was coiling her belly, fueled by his touch and his strokes and his kisses, and she cradled his face in his hands so that they could kiss as he thrust one, two, more times before stilling against her with a low groan. Warmth blossomed inside of her, and her toes curled at that sensation that had to be his seed filling her. She wasn't going to climax, but she gave a pleasured little moan for his sake anyway, drawing her nails deeply across his shoulders and arms.

For a few moments, the two of them curled up together and breathed, and she could feel his hands caressing her curves, exploring her bottom and then up her sides to her breasts, squeezing and pinching at her nipples. But it seemed exhaustion was setting in after his orgasm, and it was with a regretful noise that he pulled back and out of her.

"That was… great," she decided on. "Thank you. I liked it." What else was she supposed to say?

"I should be thanking you," Ringabel mumbled, kissing her cheek as he settled beside her, yawning a little. "You… needn't do something like that for my sake," he said, his hand cradling her hip as she curled up on his arm.

Edea took the opportunity to tug the shirt back over her chest. He was smiling at her in the darkness, but she could see the relief and the... peace on his face. That was what she wanted, after all. To help him in anyway that she could, even if she had to give him her body. And even if she had to remain unsatisfied, she added a moment later. It had felt good enough.

"I wanted to do that," she reminded him, kissing his jaw and feeling the scratch of day-old stubble on it. "I wouldn't have asked you if I didn't."

He went quiet at that, his hand continuing to caress her hip, and it was only when his hand stilled did she realize that he'd fallen asleep, his face very close to her own. She watched him for a few moments, before kissing him on the mouth and attempting to sleep herself.

The room was very warm, but now a little steamy and thick with the smell of musk, and she woke up sometime later, feeling very uncomfortably wet and with the intense urge to use the bathroom. She carefully pulled herself out of the sleeping man's arms, noting that he was sleeping deep and peacefully, with not even the slightest wrinkle in his eyebrows, and stumbled to the nearest restroom, wincing at the pain and soreness in her thighs and between her legs.

It was only when she'd made it to the toilet that she realized - truly realized - what they'd just done.

She cleaned herself up with shaking hands, grimacing at the pinkish mess that his release had left. In the light, she could see little marks all over her skin that his mouth and teeth and hands had left, and was certain she'd left her own on him. She stood at the sink with her sore legs and splashed water on her face until the splotchiness was mostly gone and her eyes didn't ache anymore.

Only then did she head back into the bedroom and crawl back into the bed beside him, yanking the covers up over her shoulders and willing herself to sleep. Just like she'd given herself to him, she had to try and do this for his sake.

But the tears that rolled down her cheeks dried there, and it was when light broke that she was woken by Ringabel caressing her face. He looked worried.

"Edea," he started, rubbing her cheeks with his thumb. "Are you alright?" He hesitated for a just a moment. "Did we really…?"

He'd slept through the night, she noticed, and said nothing, curling up further against his chest. She wanted to remain warm and safe in his arms a little longer before reality came back to her. She'd ruined everything.

Ringabel caught her and very gently pushed her back, his hands running through her hair and over her hip. She hadn't been able to find her panties, lost somewhere on the side of the bed, and he was still completely nude, and he was a smart man - he could put two and two together.

"You were tired," she said, her voice croaking. "Do you not remember?" If he had forgotten what had happened last night, then -

"I remember," he said, and she could see him flush. "I - thank you… thank you, Edea. I love you," he added. But his eyes spoke of his concern as he brushed some of her hair from her face. "Are you hurting?"

"… A little," she admitted, and even though she felt a little cautious, she opened her legs to his questing hand, letting him cup her sore sex. He was allowed to, after all, after what they had done last night. But when he stroked her there, she flinched, and pushed his hand away.

He stopped immediately, withdrawing his hands to his chest. "Edea - are you - what's wrong?"

She couldn't tell him that it had been a huge mistake. That she'd hadn't been ready to be intimate with him, that she'd just been tired and wanted him to feel better, but she'd gotten carried away. She didn't want to regret it… she didn't regret it. But she hadn't been ready.

She was quiet. He deserved the truth. "I don't… think I was emotionally prepared for that," she said finally, avoiding looking at his face.

He was silent for a long time before he breathed out in relief, flopping back onto the bed beside her. "I - yes, I don't believe I was, either," he said, slightly muffled by the pillow, and she looked at him in surprise. He offered her a tired smile. "I do thank you, for… for allowing me to - ah, be so intimate with you."

She stuck her tongue out at him, and he continued, reaching over for her hand. "I care about you, Edea. I would never want to use you like that for comfort, or to help exhaust me, ever again." She felt a little better, realizing that he had wanted her the same way she'd wanted him, trying to tire him out enough to just get some sleep, but… it didn't change what had happened. And she knew, that Ringabel being the way he was - being _who_ he was - would have preferred their first time to be more romantic, with the both of them thinking clearly and not so tired. They had both been so careless.

"Let's never speak of this again," she offered, sitting up and pushing some of her tangled hair out of her face. She looked at him again and made a face - she was right, there were marks all over his shoulder and his chest. Probably his back as well. Hopefully the others wouldn't ask any questions.

"I… never again?" he asked, sitting up as well. She nudged him until he turned around for her, at which point - yep, his back was covered in nail marks.

"Not for a while, at least," she clarified, giving him a crooked smile once he had turned back to her. "Not until we're ready for it again. It - it wasn't bad, Ringabel. But I'm just not ready for this." She didn't know if she would be for some time yet, but if she was going to have sex with someone, it was going to be because she loved them and wanted to make them both feel good, not to satisfy a momentary need.

"I understand."

She hesitated. "But we can kiss, if you'd like? Only kissing." And with that said, she leaned forward to kiss his jaw again. He swallowed. She felt she could do that. They'd grown very close over the span of a night, and even if their relationship might have been altered by it, she had *_liked_* the kissing. She was ready for kissing, even if they might not be in a relationship. Were they? She didn't know, and couldn't ask.

"I… would like that," his smile was a little more wide, a bit more sincere as he leaned over to kiss her forehead, and she giggled despite the churning in her thoughts and belly. "But perhaps we should get dressed and clean up before our lovely Tiz comes into the room to get dressed for the day and has a heart attack."

"Mmm, but we could always have Agnès nurse him back to health," she teased as she climbed out of bed.

"That would just make him worse, you know."

They bantered back and forth as they cleaned up and changed back into their clothes from the night before, and Ringabel went so far as to strip the soiled bedclothes off the bed before Tiz had a chance to see the stains, but she felt different nonetheless. She didn't know if she could ever feel the same.


	2. Someday I'll Become an Adult

As much as she might not have wanted things to change between herself and Ringabel, they did. After the night they spent together, she noticed that sometimes he couldn't look her in the face. That he was hesitant to be in the same room as her. That he refused to have her stay the night with him, no matter how terrified he was after waking up, relying on Tiz instead and once, even Agnès. It was frustrating. It was hurtful. It was really making her angry, and she found that she started to feel sick, as stressed out as she was over his odd behaviour.

If was only several weeks later that she would be able to address it with him. They had finally finished tying up the loose ends left after Conjurer Yulyana's interference, and Agnès had awakened the Earth Crystal for the third time, summoning the Holy Pillar. Edea had tried to talk to him as the Vestal finished preparing, but he had studiously ignored her, leaving an awkward silence and an even more awkward shepherd between them. Later still, he shied away from their usual post-awakening dinner in the Drunken Pig, taking a small plate with him to the bridge instead as he prepared for the long flight.

"Is everything alright between you and Ringabel?" Tiz asked her, as she attempted to shovel food into her mouth. The Proprietress always cooked them up a lot of delicious, yummy food to help them all regain their strength, but she found that she was so worked up she couldn't enjoy it. The mere smell of it was a little overwhelming, but she ignored the way her stomach protested and tried to at least eat, not least because she'd been feeling fatigued all day, and it had just gotten worse after fighting Gigas Lich. Again.

"It's… " She hesitated, not sure if she should lie to Tiz or not - it was really so hard to do so. "It's nothing, really." She had no idea if that was correct or not - she felt like it was nothing, but she also knew Ringabel had a tendency to get carried away when she was involved.

Tiz looked wholly unconvinced. "Are you sure? He's been really jumpy lately."

Edea forced a laugh. "He's like an excitable little puppy, isn't he? But don't worry, Tiz… we just need to sit down and have a talk, that's all." She looked down at her plate again before pushing it away, grimacing. The older boy looked at her, eyes wide - she hadn't even finished half of it.

"Edea… are _you_ - "

She cut him off, but forced a smile at him. "It's nothing, Tiz… just a little misunderstanding. I'll talk to him tonight, if I see him… so when he finally goes to bed, tell him to come see me?" Maybe Ringabel would even let her lay down with him, like they used to. She… kind of missed it.

"_Ringabel_," she snapped much later night, after she found him in the bridge, nursing a cup of coffee. His hair was slightly disheveled, his face pale. She had been waiting for him to knock on her door, only for Tiz to arrive and say that while he had relayed the message, the older boy had grabbed a change of clothes and left, claiming that he wanted to get to the Holy Pillar as soon as possible and would be flying there through the night. Were it anyone but Ringabel, that might almost be a believable lie, but if anything, he would usually take every opportunity to delay their inevitable trip through the pillar.

"Edea…" He had the grace to look guilty, eyeing her warily as he clutched his coffee mug over his lap. The ship seemed to be on autopilot, but he was stretched out on a worn couch that was very close by the wheel. He sat up straighter as she approached.

She settled beside him, stretching out her legs, and waited for him to confess. When he didn't after a few tense moments, she plowed on, her hands twisting the fabric of her nightgown.

"You've been avoiding me," she pointed out, and he stiffened a little, rotating the cup around in his hands as he stalled for time.

"H-have I been? Dearest Angel, you know I would enjoy nothing more than to be in your presence and - "

"Can it, Ringabel," she snapped. Ah, but that felt good to say. It seemed like it had been entirely too long since she'd had the opportunity. But it also hurt. He was lying to her, and not about something in an attempt not to worry her, like covering up how bad his headaches and night terrors were - he'd done that to them all. This was different. He didn't want to see her and… she knew why.

"Forgive me," he said after some moments, his voice somber. "I simply… I find it difficult to face certain things, as I'm sure you've noticed."

"Like me?" she asked him pointedly, and he flinched.

"I - no, not you, exactly. I love you, and I want to stay by your side. I _will_ remain by your side, no matter what happens," Ringabel replied, staring into the coffee as he clutched the mug. "But I keep remembering that night and - "

"We agreed not to talk about it," Edea sighed, but she reached over and touched his arm. "Ringabel, I don't regret that night. I wanted it. I asked you. It was my idea. It happened… we can't undo the past." Even if they traveled into parallel worlds, but that wasn't quite the same thing.

"It happened," he repeated, and took a deep breath before facing her completely, setting the mug down on the floor. "But that doesn't mean that I have to be happy with how it happened, Edea. I was so careless. I was so.. so stupid. It was wonderful, and I - I enjoyed it, I won't lie, but afterwards, when I realized what I'd done - what I'd done to _you_, I couldn't accept it. This is my fault - if I had been stronger, it would never have happened and -"

Edea cut him off, placing a finger and then her entire palm against his lips as he started to babble, his eyes bright.

"Ssh… stop," she implored him, keeping her hand on his mouth and shushing him when he opened it. "Just stop! You needn't shoulder the blame for this. I asked you. I wanted it… and I really don't regret it." How could she make him understand? She didn't want their relationship to be altered by this, but it was easier said than done. He was really shaken by this, the fool.

"I don't regret it,"' Ringabel repeated, his words muffled under her hand, though she didn't know if she could fully believe him. "I just wish that - "

"That sounds like regret," she cut him off again, pressing her hand further against his lips. He shut up again, though one hand lifted to wrap around her wrist. "It happened, Ringabel. We can't take it back - and I won't! I gave myself to you, as I'm sure you gave yourself to me, and I will _cherish_ that gift. Can't you cherish mine as well?" She refused to think of that night as "losing" her virginity to him, because she hadn't _lost_ it, she had given it willingly to him, and she knew he had been a virgin before as well, for all his skirt-chasing and philandering. She had shared something with him so intimate, and she wouldn't dare to think of taking it back. Sure, the circumstances were less than ideal, but that was just the story of their life.

He went very still at her words, and his hand tightened around her wrist, though not so painfully that she couldn't bear it. Finally, he seemed to just collapse, shoulders slouching.

After a few more moments, Edea cautiously removed her hand.

Ringabel took it in his before she could wipe it off on his pants. And then he sniffled and nodded.

She groaned, and leaned forward to lean against him, feeling very tired now that the tension between them seemed to be over. The events of the past few weeks had been utterly draining and exhausting, and she wanted nothing more than to crawl into a nice soft bed and sleep, perhaps with Ringabel beside her, if he wanted.

But she doubted he would, even now… even though he lifted a hand to run it gently through her slightly tangled hair, practically nuzzling his cheek against her temple. "Are you tired?" he asked quietly, his voice low and gentle.

"I can't leave you here alone," she breathed, annoyance bubbling inside of her for a moment. She couldn't just leave him alone to suffer in the middle of the night - and that was what had caused all these problems. He was her friend, and he was someone she cared for very deeply. "At the very least, come back to the inn. Tiz and Agnès are there."

He hesitated for just a moment before he nodded and stood, and she watched him with weary eyes as he strode over the ship controls. She could feel the gentle movements, the loud groans of the wood as he anchored them down for the night, somewhere over the waters, and smiled. "Not going to the Holy Pillar as fast as possible after all?"

Ringabel gave her something of a rueful smile over his shoulder. "Humans need to sleep. Even Airy understands that." As soon as he was finished, he came back to her and held out his hands for hers, pulling her to her feet when their fingers touched. "Come on, dear Edea. I think it is well past your bedtime."

"And yours," she pointed out as they made their way from the controls and out the bridge, then down the steps. When they made it to the door, she paused. "You _are_ going to sleep, aren't you? Have your night terrors gotten any better?"

"A bit," Ringabel replied, opening the door and holding it for her. "I think I'm getting used to them. Or at least, getting used to waking up from them and going back to sleep quickly… exhaustion is a helpful thing, at times."

She hesitated. "If you need me to lay with you some more, I will. I don't mind."

As she suspected, his back stiffened, and he glanced away. She had to fight the urge to step on his foot, even though it wouldn't do any damage to him, because all she had on were slippers and he was fully dressed. "I don't believe that's a good idea, Edea. Though I greatly appreciate the offer."

Edea rolled her eyes and huffed, stomping into the inn. "We're not going to - you know. That's not going to happen again. But maybe I want to sleep next to someone tonight, and Agnès is probably already asleep. It would be rude of me to wake her."

He followed, and stood there awkwardly as he closed the door behind them. "If all you wish is that…"

"Yes, that's exactly it!" She hoped her voice didn't sound as whiny as she felt. "I just want a nice, warm body to curl up with." And that usually would help him sleep better, as well. Feeling like he wasn't alone. Being next to someone and to their heartbeat, proof of their life. And if he could bury his face in her hair and fall asleep with her scent surrounding him, all the better for it.

"I knew you only wanted me for my body," Ringabel gasped, but when she looked at him, eyebrow raised, he was grinning. He winked, then laughed as she shoved at him, and she knew that it would be okay. Ringabel was a little weird - he would always be a little weird - but at least he would be okay.

And things between them would be okay, she thought with a smile as he carefully spooned with her in her bed that night, the covers tucked up tightly over their shoulders. Tiz was such a light sleeper, he'd just wake up if Ringabel entered the room now, after all, and Edea had asked Ringabel to stay with her (for once, instead of the other way around). It was pleasant, and a part of her realized that she had missed it… not that she would ever admit that outloud.

She was so comfortable, she didn't want to leave the bed the next morning when she woke, feeling an odd churning in her stomach. But when that churning grew too great to ignore and then moved to outright pain, she scrambled out of the bed and only just made it to the basin by the side of the door, the one they customarily used for water in the middle of the night.

If she hadn't woken him up when she shoved at him in her haste to get out of bed, then the sound of her vomiting roused him, as well as Agnès.

"Edea!" Agnès gasped, sliding out of her bed to stand beside the other woman. Edea was trembling, clutching the basin so tightly in her hands that it made an odd noise. She retched again, and Agnès hastened to pull back her hair.

"What's the matter?" Ringabel asked, and Agnès jumped, screaming a little at the sudden male voice in the room - she hadn't noticed him at all. The Vestal spun around, lifting one hand in defense of her friend - only to lower it when she realized who it was. She gave him a sheepish smile, which he returned, and tucked her hand behind her back.

"I'm… not sure," Edea mumbled, breathing heavily. She felt a little better now, but suddenly was very weak. "Felt sick last night," she tried to explain, and closed her eyes as another wave of nausea rolled through her, but it seemed as though the sick at least, was over.

"Here," Ringabel said, draping an arm around her waist and picking her up so that he could carry her back to bed. She let him do it. "Agnès, can you get some fresh water? And rouse Tiz, if he didn't wake up when you - "

He hadn't even finished his sentence when the door swung open, and Tiz looked in, eyes wide. "I heard screaming?"

Ringabel laughed, though his hands were busy soothing Edea's back. "Agnès - and I - were just a little surprised this morning. Edea's not well."

"I'm fine." the blonde tried to argue through a throat that felt like heated sandpaper. Ugh, she could taste it… she hadn't eaten nearly enough last night to really have any substance in her stomach, and it was gross.

"Sick again?" Tiz asked, his brows furrowing as he came fully into the room now, though he lifted the soiled basin from Agnès' hands as she tried to move past him.

"She was ill last night?" Agnès said, grasping her hands in front of her now that they were empty. Tiz hovered in the doorway, basin in hand, not willing to leave until he was certain things were okay.

"I said I'm fine," Edea snapped, pushing Ringabel away. "It was just - probably something I ate." Or all the stress was just getting to her. Either way, she just needed to lay down for a while longer.

Ringabel leaned back at her bidding, moving out of her reach before she walloped him. "Did you eat anything differently than we did? Do either of you feel ill?" He glanced over at Tiz and Agnès, who shook their heads.

Edea couldn't take it anymore. All this doting and worrying - all she wanted to do was rest. "Just - just stop, _please_," she begged, tucking her feet back into the bed and pulling her blankets over her form. "I'm fine, I'm fine. I just want to get some more rest, okay?"

She was turned away from them, and so could not see the worried looks that the group exchanged before Tiz left the room, tilting his head and beckoning the others to join him. She simply buried her face further into the pillow, breathing in the faint scent that Ringabel had left behind.

Ringabel waited until the brunettes had left the room before standing up from the mattress and bending over Edea to kiss the top of her head. She groaned and batted at him. "We'll let you get some rest," he told her. "Please, call us if you need us."

She said nothing.

"I feel fine," Ringabel told the other two when he joined them in the bathroom, where Tiz was washing out the basin.

"I do as well," Agnès replied from where she was sitting, perched on one of the chairs they kept in there for their clothes or other items.

"I don't believe our dear Proprietress could cook anything that would give us food poisoning. But did either of you see her eat anything weird?"

"She really didn't eat at all," Tiz replied, his voice somewhat distracted as he focused on his task. "Most of her plate was empty. But she's seemed stressed lately… maybe it made her stomach upset." That didn't explain the begging tone of her voice, how upset she sounded.

Ringabel glanced toward the direction of the girls' room, as though he could possibly see Edea through the walls. The other two watched him.

"She should be fine if we watch her," Agnès finally offered. "We've all gotten the stomach flu before. If this continues, we will have her looked over as soon as we are finished with the Holy Pillar."

Ringabel's stomach churned as he thought about it. If his suspicions were correct, they would end up in Caldisla once they were done with the Holy Pillar, thrown into yet another world. The pattern on Airy's wings read a 3… what would happen in this next world?

Tiz cleared his throat, and Ringabel was pulled from his thoughts. "You'll keep an eye on her, won't you, Ringabel?" The brunet asked, and there was something in his tone of voice that gave the older boy pause. This seemed like a trap.

"Of course I will," he said, though he couldn't quite smile when his angel was feeling so under the weather.

"That's good." Tiz finished up with the basin and turned it over to let it dry on top of the counter. He then turned to face Ringabel more fully, and despite himself, the taller boy took a step back. It didn't help when Agnès came to stand next to Tiz.

"She has seemed very stressed," Agnès mused, staring at him as she propped her chin in one of her hands. He could feel a slight sweat break out on his forehead, and his back pressed against the door.

"And you've been really preoccupied lately," Tiz pointed out, his hands tucked carefully behind his back. "Like last night, when you said you wanted to get to the Holy Pillar as fast as possible?"

Agnès turned to him. "Did he really say that?"

Ringabel laughed, though it quickly died down as they looked back at him. "I was just - eager to get it over with, as you may know… no point in delaying the inevitable."

They didn't seem to buy it.

He continued, babbling a little, confessing completely under their gazes, though they looked far from judgemental. "It was simply a misunderstanding between us, that's all. We ah, we talked it over last night. Things are better between us."

"So there was something between you!" Tiz exclaimed, frowning.

Ringabel wasn't sure if he should laugh or cry. There had been something between them, but not the 'something' that the other two likely assumed. And even though he and Edea had agreed not to talk about their night together until they were ready, he already knew he wouldn't be sharing the details with the others even after that. It just wasn't right.

He cleared his throat. "Just a misunderstanding. As I said, things are smoother now. She'll feel better with rest." Though he felt terrible that he may have been the cause behind her illness. He just hadn't known how to deal with it. How to deal with the fact that he had slept with her when he really shouldn't have, even if she had been a willing and eager participant. He didn't know how to face her when he hated himself for his actions, and didn't want that hatred to reflect in his interactions with her. He'd just wanted some time to mentally and emotionally regroup, but had only succeeded in worrying her even more… he was the worst.

Tiz studied him for a few more moments before another shared glance between him and Agnès seemed to convince him to ease up on their friendly interrogation.

Ringabel swallowed.

"We must work together in order to defeat our common foe," Agnès reminded him, and he felt his stomach drop. She was right, of course. They needed harmony amongst each other. His night terrors and Edea's frustration over his attitude wouldn't help. And while one could not be helped, as much as he might wish it, he could try to control the other.

"I - I know," he said, his hand curling around the doorknob. "I promise you both that I will do whatever I can to make this up to you - all of you. Especially her."

And when they said nothing, but offered him those smiles that he loved seeing, he opened the door and all but ran out, his cheeks burning brightly. He stopped by the girls' room to check on Edea one last time, before going out to get breakfast and make his way slowly back to the bridge, wasting a good portion of the morning until he took up his usual position behind the wheel.

They had a Holy Pillar to get to, after all, and while he could dawdle as much as possible, eventually Airy would get on his case about how long it was taking after his excuse from last night, especially since he now knew from unfortunate experience exactly where it was located. Worrying about Edea's health came a close second to making sure that she - and their friends - survived, which meant going along with the fairy's moods, as much as he may not want to.

Edea decided that she felt much better after a nap, waking up sometime in the afternoon. She lounged around in bed for a few selfish moments before her stomach reminded her that she'd eaten precious little the day before, and that she'd thrown up that morning anyway. Growling slightly under her breath, she got up and wandered out to the find the others.

The ship was moving, she noticed as she left the inn, clouds racing by as they headed south-east. Tiz noticed her.

"Edea!" he called, jogging over. "How are you feeling?"

She frowned at him. "I told you guys, I'm fine. Please stop worrying about me, especially when there are other things that are more important."

The boy shook his head at her. "You know it's not that easy. We all want to look out for each other. You'd do the same for any of us."

He was right, she realized, grumbling softly. Of course she was right. She worried about all of friends as much as they did. "Well… thank you. But I'm feeling better. I just needed to sleep a little more." And now that she and Ringabel were on good terms again, she could stop stressing herself out over him.

Tiz smiled at her. "Good!"

She smiled back, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "And… Ringabel? Is he behaving?"

"He's as well as you are," Tiz answered. "Agnès and I spoke to him."

Edea had to laugh. "Both of you spoke to him? Tiz, you're going to make him feel like he's a criminal or something!" Or that he'd done something wrong, when he really hadn't… it was annoying, being avoided, and she wanted to punch him for it, but Ringabel had such difficulties confronting things that upset him. After all, he had completely lost his memory at one point instead of accepting her death. There was no greater argument for how weak his sanity could be.

"We just wanted to make sure that he hadn't done anything," Tiz mumbled, face red. "You two were acting weird, and then this morning-"

"I told you," Edea interrupted him. "We had a misunderstanding, and we talked it over last night - things are okay between us now. And this morning - remember, I wasn't feeling well last night? It's just a stomach flu," she said firmly, refusing to believe it could possibly be anything else.

It couldn't be.

It was just a stomach virus, she reminded herself several days later, when they finally reached the Holy Pillar. The light from it, once thought of as warm and comforting, seemed to tear through her. It made her ache. Made her feel even more ill. Though she knew, as much as her heart twisted at the thought, that the Alternis of this world would not interfere, she was still tense as Airy's light filled the bridge… and when she woke up in Caldisla's inn, she only just made it to its restroom.

"Are you all right, little lady?" Karl asked her as she walked out, a hand to the back of her mouth. A glass of water was waiting in his hands. For a moment, she wished he could remember who they were, but knew it was futile… this was not the man they knew.

"I'm fine, innkeep." She offered him a smile as he handed her the water. Though he might be wary of strangers, he still seemed to be concerned about her, and followed her downstairs where Agnès and Ringabel were waiting. It seemed Tiz was still asleep.

"Sick again, Edea?" Ringabel asked from where he was seated at the table, quill and journal in hand.

"Still that stomach virus, I suppose," she said, laughing it off. This time, she'd still had food in her system, but had no idea if that made it better or worse. It was gross, in any case. Karl gave them all a nod before leaving the room, probably to wake up Tiz.

"We should let you get some rest," Agnès suggested once the man had left. "I will awaken the Wind Crystal in this world in due time… but we could all use some time to recuperate." To them, it had been scarcely more than a week since Agnès had awakened the Earth Crystal in the last world, after all. And that world they had just left had drained them all in its own way.

"No way!" Edea tried to argue. "We've got more important things to do. You need to get some rest, Agnès. I'll be fine, just have to watch what I eat. Get some real sleep." And hopefully Ringabel wouldn't give her cause to stress about him. He'd been good the past few nights, if he kept that up, she'd be better in no time.

The conversation died down once Tiz stumbled down the stairs, hair sticking up and eyes still blurry with sleep. Edea giggled at him, as she had previously, before they began to talk about the failure to truly rid the world of darkness. They were in yet another version of Luxendarc. How much longer would this cycle continue?

Now that she knew what to look for, communicated to her in quiet whispers in the dark of the night, she eyed the pattern of Airy's wings in a moment when she was certain the fairy wasn't looking. They were down to 2, she thought. What could they possibly do to make sure this world would not be the same as the last?


	3. It's All Right If It's Foolish

There wasn't much they could do.

"We should awaken the crystals," Airy said. "I'm sure it will work this time!"

Edea wanted to argue with her, to remind her that it hadn't worked 3 times previously, and wasn't the third time supposed to be the charm? But Ringabel stepped in before she could even start, pointing out with a quiet voice all the flaws in Airy's plans. Ringabel was better at that, after all - he practically lived for the times he could poke at Airy.

She ignored the argument that followed, rubbing absently at her belly as they hit the autumn Caldislan air. Now that her stomach was empty, it was protesting all the smells, both good and bad, that hung in the stale air. The foodstand owners were doing their best to advertise their wares with handheld fans, and she followed her nose to one stand that she remembered fondly, with sausage and grilled vegetables waiting for her.

But the moment she got there, she looked at it with distaste, stomach flopping.

"If you're not going to buy something, move so someone else can," the owner said as he watched her.

"I- I'm sorry, sir," she replied, snapping out of her daze. "I'm just not feeling well, but I am hungry and this looks so good - do you have anything lighter?" He did not, of course, but seemed to take pity on her, and directed her to another stand down the road, that offered food more to Agnès' liking.

"At this rate, I'm going to turn into a rabbit," she bemoaned, nibbling at the leafy wrap. It still smelled strongly, but she could tolerate it. She would have to tolerate it.

Agnès gave her something of a look, having overheard the remark as she joined the other girl. "There's nothing wrong with looking after your health and abstaining from meat once in a while, Edea. Especially as you are ill. If you are well, perhaps we can have ice cream later."

Mmm, ice cream. Something Edea would normally be pleased over, but now just made her feel even more sick. "I'll pass, thanks. Maybe once I'm over this virus."

Agnès finished ordering her own wrap and had it in hand before she leaned back to look the blonde over, her eyes wide and concerned. "Are you certain you don't wish to be looked at a healer? None of us have ever been sick for so long, before…"

"It's probably just this stress," Edea replied, shaking her head. "I'll be fine, with some rest. I promise."

There was no reason for her to be sick over stress anymore, she groaned the next morning, curled up in the restroom the group shared. She hadn't actually thrown up, but it had been close, and it had taken all of her will and stubbornness to prevent anything from coming up. But it was ridiculous for her to feel this sick, especially if Agnès was fine. Agnès was fine, was under more stress than the rest of them combined, and here Edea was feeling peckish over some stupid philanderer and his avoidance issues.

She had just started to brush her teeth when there was a knock on the door. "Edea," Ringabel's voice drifted through the wood. "I heard you - are you-"

"I'm fine!" she called to him with a mouth full of foam. "Just fine! I didn't throw up, don't worry about me." Please, she added mentally. Being sick was always draining, but before, at home, she had been able to be pampered while ill. There were no such luxuries here, even if her friends might be willing to provide. She knew Ringabel especially would be delighted to. She just had to get over this stomach virus and move on… if Agnès could do it, so could she.

Ringabel was still standing by the door when she exited the room, causing her to jump.

"I am worried," he told her with a slight frown, and she closed her eyes as his cool hand pressed against her forehead. It felt good. "You don't feel warm… but it can't hurt to take you to Eternia, perhaps, and - "

"Stop," Edea pleaded, tugging his hand down and away. She kept it in hers. "Eternia may be our enemy in this world, we don't know yet. Let's avoid it until we're ready. I'll be fine, I promise." She had to be fine, there was no for her to lie around feeling bad for herself when Agnès was pushing herself to the limits every time a crystal was awakened.

He did not seem convinced, but didn't push it any further, leaning over to kiss her gently on her forehead. She grumbled at him, and though her cheeks burned for a moment, she allowed it, especially as he gave her a smile as he pulled back, his face pink.

She watched him turn and leave, and headed back into her room. This was getting absolutely ridiculous. The stress, the anxiety - it was absurd to think it was affecting her so badly, when she wasn't even the one that most of the pressure was on! Agnès was taking everything so well, and here she was, barely able to stomach the lightest of meals or go a day without throwing up.

"No more," she said softly to herself as she changed into her clothes for the day, noting with displeasure that her entire torso felt sore, and her leggings were a little tight around the waist, as though she were bloated. She groaned. Of course, on top of feeling sick she'd have to getting a little thick too, just like she did sometimes around her cy-

The blood drained out of her face so fast that she thought she might faint, and she sat on the edge of the bed heavily, hands flying to her belly as she counted the days and weeks in her head.

She'd never given it much thought, especially because it was more of a nuisance than anything when they were travelling and sometimes spent weeks in the outdoors. There was nothing more embarrassing than trying to explain why blood had ended up in her bedroll, or staining her leggings, and though the boys had quickly caught on, it never got easier to talk about, even with Agnès, who suffered the same sort of indignity she did. After the second Water Crystal, it had been blessedly irregular, and she had been happy to put it out of her mind, but now that she thought about it, when was the last time she'd even had one?

Oh no. Oh no, this wasn't happening. Edea's hands curled in fists against her stomach as she curled in on herself, chest heaving as panic surfaced. It was impossible! It had only been the once! It couldn't happen on the first time! And… she forced a soft laugh, trying to remind herself that she'd once skipped cycles for 3 months when she was younger, and that her illness was the result of a stomach virus and not anything more… more…

"Edea?" Agnès rapped at the door before she opened it. The blonde had acted quickly at the noise and was now pulling her undershirt over her head, tugging the hem down over her waist as the other girl stepped in.

"I'm getting ready, sorry for the delay, Agnès."

"No, it's fine… Ringabel told us that you weren't feeling well again, so the Proprietress made you some tea. It's here, if you'd like it now."

Irritation boiled in her that Ringabel - the cause of all of this - would be going around telling people that she was sick, even if the tea that Agnès was offering smelled amazing. "… Thanks, Agnès," she decided on, because Agnès was certainly not at fault, and took the cup and saucer from the Vestal.

The tea helped soothe her stomach, and even made her feel a little less bloated. She took another cup later in the day, completely saturated with sugar and honey, and by the time that dinner rolled around, was feeling so much better that she firmly pushed all of her earlier suspicions out of her mind. If her sickness could be cured by a simple cup of tea, then it was nothing major.

"This is great, Proprietress. Really the thing I needed! " Edea said later as she drank another cup with dinner.

The older woman laughed, and shook her head. "Well, you've gotta start watching your health, young lady! We can't have you getting sick all the time. Wouldn't be good for you."

Edea paused, though mostly it was because her mouth was full of sausage and grain and she was busy chewing, and it was very impolite to talk with her mouth full. "I'm getting better. I promise."

Though she felt sick again in the morning, she staved off her retching by sheer force of will, curling up under the bedsheets and shivering until the pain passed. The cup of tea that the Proprietress offered her once she dragged herself down to the pub helped again, though she bit back tears as she downed the cup.

This was awful.

But whatever the cause of her illness, she was absolutely determined not to let it interfere with their quest, with Agnès' journey. It was for that reason that she was almost too scared to probe too deeply into what might be causing it, instead her hiding her discomfort under grumpiness. Ringabel picked up on her mood and though he attempted to sugar her up with chocolates and flowers and sweets, she bit his head off enough that he started to avoid her altogether again. A part of her felt offended, but the other parts were almost glad for it.

The Temple of Wind was their first step as usual, though they kicked around the idea that perhaps awakening the crystals in a different order would have a difference.

"I don't think it matters what order the crystals are awakened in. Just that they're awakened and invoke the Holy Pillar" the cryst-fairy mused aloud as the group sat around her in chairs, or on a couch, in Edea's case, her feet stretched out into Tiz's lap. "Then again, I would never have thought that we would have to awaken the crystals more than once."

"In our original world, we awakened them in the order we did so because that was the order in which they were made available to us," Ringabel mused, a map of Luxendarc open on his lap. "With Grandship at our disposal, perhaps we would find it more effective to try a different order. But there are so many possibilities and combinations…"

"We're so close to the Wind Crystal as it is! We should go with the method that's tried and true," the fairy argued. They were already in the Harena region, and Airy was right that going to another temple meant adding days or weeks to the trip.

"Forgive me for saying so, but this 'tried and true' method of yours has failed for the third time," the older blond said, purposefully not looking up from the map as he studied it a little too closely. "We need another plan."

Agnès stepped in as Airy whined, flitting around Ringabel's head, dangerously close to his pompadour. "We shouldn't delay! Who knows what will-"

"The stale wind and the rotting water affect all of Luxendarc. The Fire Crystal and Earth Crystal have always had greater effects on their regions. We may be able to wait until later for them, but I do not know what will happen if they are awakened in a different order."

"Since we're already here, we should start with the Wind Crystal," Tiz suggested. "The Water Crystal is close by as well, but Grandship can get us to Eisenberg or Eternia quickly, can't she?" He looked at Ringabel.

The older boy nodded. "It would mean making a round trip, but we could certainly swing to one of the other Crystals and return for the Water Crystal with just a few days added… and we would still be able to awaken them all in a shorter time period than in the first world." He tapped his chin with a quill. "We should make sure to check out the duchy, as well, make sure that the asterisk bearers in this world are behaving."

Edea bit her lip. This was her least favorite part of any world. She had only just been able to bear fighting her loved ones in her original world. Now she had to prepare herself to fight them multiple times, watch them die for their beliefs when she could do nothing to stop them. "We'll do what we must," she said as the others looked at her. She hated the pity she could detect, just barely, in their eyes. "They are our enemy - and if they stand in our way, we must deal with the same that we do any foe."

"Perhaps this time they will listen to reason," Ringabel suggested slowly, poking the tip of his quill against his cheek. "Things have been changing, slightly but… enough."

Did she want to hold out hope that Einheria would survive this world as she had the last? That Master Kamiizumi would? "We'll do what we must," she replied, and poked Tiz in the stomach with a foot when the shepherd frowned at her.

"Some of them survived the last world that we were in," he told her, and he very carefully placed her feet onto the ground. "So it's possible others will survive this one as well. It's worth trying, isn't it?"

"Of course it is," she said, and straightened up now that he wasn't having any of her silliness. "We… we can try."

"So the Wind Crystal comes first, then?" Ringabel examined the map. "I haven't heard anything about the the Merchantry causing chaos in Ancheim. Perhaps they haven't had a chance, or have different business tactics."

"Once the Wind Crystal is awakened, the King's grip on his people is gone," Agnès reminded them, her hands in her lap. "It's the first step that we should take, whether they are in Ancheim or not. It's the right thing to do, to bring peace back to the region."

They all agreed.

Edea stretched as the little meeting broke up, and they all their separate ways to get ready. Ringabel however, stayed behind, lingering in the door.

"What is it?"

"Have you been feeling better?" he asked her kindly.

She scowled at him, and he instantly flinched. She had to remind herself that it wasn't his fault, not entirely, that she'd picked up a stomach virus from somewhere and was just lucky she hadn't passed it on to him or Agnès or Tiz. "I'm fine," she said after a moment, and guilt rippled through when he gave her a wary smile. "I'm fine, Ringabel. Thank you for worrying about me" she clarified, and gave him a smile.

He relaxed slightly, offering her a wider smile in return. "I'm glad to hear it, angel. Please, let me know if you need me for anything."

"I don't need to be mollycoddled," she huffed. "But your concern is appreciated."

It was even appreciated the next morning, when she felt sick again. This time, it wasn't nausea. This time, it was vertigo, and she stumbled in the hallway as they readied for the trip through the Wind Temple and for their inevitable fight with Orthos. She leaned against the wall heavily, waiting for the world to stop spinning, and was slowly sliding down to the floor when a pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist and hauled her up right and against a warm, solid chest. She could have wept in relief, clinging to Ringabel as she tried to reorient herself.

"Edea, really…" Ringabel's tone was light, just barely hiding his concern as he rubbed her back. "I'm delighted to see you falling for me, but this is hardly the time or place."

She let out a derisive laugh. "Ringabel, making girls swoon isn't a good thing. Mice make girls swoon."

"Are you calling me a pest?" he replied with a pout on his face as he leaned back to examine hers. His thumbs caressed her cheeks with such a gentleness that she had to close her eyes again as the world spun. "Let's get you back in bed," he whispered, and she only just managed to stay her ground as he attempted to pick her up.

"I'll be fine," she told him. "It's just all this stress is getting to me. I just need a little more rest and then - "

"No," he said loudly, firmly, and broke her grip on the wall with two strong hands before he picked her up entirely, holding her against his chest.

Oh this was embarrassing. She kicked and squirmed, trying to get out of his grasp without being dropped. "Ringabel, stop, please!" She didn't need this. She didn't need his concern, even though a part of her was secretly pleased, and he was nice and warm and _safe_ as he held her.

"You're not well, Edea," Ringabel stated, leaning himself against the wall as he waited for her to settle. She tried to kick off from it, and he simply grasped her tighter; it almost hurt. "You're not well, and you need to rest. Awakening the crystal can wait until you're better, but none of us want you fighting if you're sick."

"Look, I'm not sick. It's just… stress. Please put me down and let me fight." Despite her squirming, he managed to make his way back down the hallway and into the still open door of the room she shared with Agnès. She grabbed the door frame.

"l'll tell Agnès." he grunted as he paused in the doorway, before shifting his weight to pull her hands off the wood.

Edea pulled his hair instead. "You're not going to tell anyone and - oof!"

Ringabel had dropped her on the bed, and before she could recover and kick him in the spleen, he had used his greater weight and height to press her down into the mattress, crawling over on top of her and grasping her wrist to make her stay. The flush on his cheeks betrayed the stern look on his face, so very close to her own.. She pressed back into the pillow, aware that her own cheeks were growing warm, and their eyes met.

"Please," he said, his voice low, and not quite his. She swallowed. He was so close and so warm. "We're worried for you. We've all been ill before, and you know as well as I that proper rest and perhaps some pampering is the fastest way for you to recover, instead of ignoring it."

She closed her eyes for a moment before opening them again, trying not to look him in the eye. "I'll rest after we awaken the Wind Crystal."

"I'd rather you rest now. It wouldn't do to have you distracted or weak in battle. You'll just get hurt. You'll get one of us hurt. I would always die to protect you, but especially if you faint in the middle of the fight."

"Don't say things like that," she said, feeling upset that he would use that against her. She knew all too well the lengths that the man would go to keep her safe. The first time he'd taken a blow meant for her, they'd been out of phoenix downs and she'd used the last ether to get enough strength to revive him She had been terrified at the time that he wouldn't wake up from it, and that she had been the cause of the man's death, as strange and unknown as he had been to her at the time. Of course, once he had regained consciousness, he had joked about it, and she'd threatened to knock him out again, but… that seemed like a lifetime ago. They had all been nearly killed so many times, but it still hurt anew when it happened..

"Forgive me," he replied, voice low. Their faces were really very close, she thought, eyes flickering down to his downturned lips. His hands were tight around her wrist, but as she wriggled a little, he loosened his grip. "But my point remains. You need to truly rest. I would be happy to pamper you today if you'll promise me that you'll take it easy."

She laughed. "You really promise? Wait on me hand and foot?"

He smiled warmly at her, and she felt her heart leap. "I would find no greater pleasure than to help you feel well. All the sweets and massages in the world. You can relax in bed and not worry about a thing, and indulge in anything you want. Chocolate? Warm baths?"

"That _did_ sound good. She bit her lip. "Just for today."

"Until you're well."

"Just for _today_," she repeated, frowning at him, his face just inches from hers with a matching frown. And then - "Ringabel."

"Yes, my dear."

"Kiss me. Please." Just to be polite.

He obeyed her with a low noise, pulling his hand away from her wrist so that he could cradle her face. It was surprisingly intense, and Edea groaned against his lips as he parted hers with his tongue. Had he been _practicing_ or something?

Now that her own hands were free, she grasped his face and held him close, breathing in his scent. They parted only for quick, short breaths before leaning back in toward each other, and she was beginning to feel so, so warm. She had told him that kissing was okay, hadn't she? And they hadn't kissed like this since that night.

That night… her thoughts were a whirlwind, a crazy mix between heated want and warning sirens going off as Ringabel pressed further against her, and she had just slid her hands into the back of his hair to tangle in his blond locks when the door opened, then slammed closed.

The two of them jerked apart, and Ringabel rolled off her, so much that he hit the floor.

But the door was already closed, and Edea could hear the faint sounds of someone hurrying away from it. She flushed, and pressed her hands into her face.

"S-stay here," Ringabel stuttered as he picked himself off the floor, brushing his clothes off and straightening them. His face was bright red, all the way up to the tips of his ears. "You promised you'd stay until you were well."

"I'll stay," she agreed, reaching for the nearest bundle of blankets and pulling it close. She really had no desire to follow after him - or whoever had just walked into them. Her face burning, she curled up under the blanket, pressing her face into the pillow and trying to forget the way he'd kissed and touched her, her hands curling against her stomach as she tried to rest.

Ringabel watched her for another moment, a lump building in his throat, before he left the room, rubbing at his face in an attempt to get the blush to go away faster. What had he been thinking, kissing her like that? The tension between them in that moment had been thick, but it had been his fault to begin with, and he should have known better. As he rounded the corner in the inn toward the lobby, he very nearly ran into Agnès, who squeaked when she saw him and stepped back. Her eyes were wide, her face red.

"R-Ringabel, is Edea well?"

The smile he gave her was both kind and a bit embarrassed. "She wasn't feeling well, and I - ah, got her to agree to stay in bed until she's well." He paused, before clarifying. "In exchange for pampering her, of course, and - whatever you may have seen was after our conversation ended."

Tiz, who was pouring out some coffee from the inn's cheap coffee maker for them, could barely hear the conversation, but he tilted his head at them. "What did she see?"

"Nothing!" Both Agnès and Ringabel replied simultaneously, and the flushes that followed couldn't have helped their argument.

"Edea and I were just - very, very close," Ringabel said quietly, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. He wasn't about to tell either of them that they had been kissing like that, and he had very much enjoyed it, but well - Agnès had witnessed it. He wasn't about to lie to her either. "I don't - we were just - "

He took the coffee mug that Tiz gave to him and downed it down, wincing as the hot liquid scalded his tongue. Well, that would effectively prevent him from any heavy kissing for a while. Or talking, perhaps? He stuck his tongue out to touch it and to ignore the looks Tiz was giving him.

Their plans for the day had been altered, due to Edea deciding to rest, and Agnès wandered back to their shared room, now that Ringabel was clearly not there and couldn't get up to any bad.

He sat down on one of the old armchairs in the lobby, sighing. Tiz perched nearby on another chair, watching him. There was nothing judgmental in Tiz's gaze. It was as patient as always, a little curious, but kind. And yet, Ringabel caved within second..

"We were… kissing. Agnès saw," he said tersely, rubbing his tongue with his fingers again. Maybe he should just take a potion.

Tiz was quiet for a moment before he sighed. "She's not used to displays of affection. But is Edea okay?"

"I don't know," Ringabel replied, feeling a wave of anxiety. "She's been so sick lately, as much as she tries to hide it. I thought she was going to faint in the hallway earlier, which is why I insisted that she rest today - we cannot have a fighter who can barely stand."

"No no, I agree!" Tiz said hurriedly. "It's better for us all. Safer for her, and for you."

Ringabel gave the other boy a wry smile. Yes, he would gladly put himself in harm's way for her, especially if she wasn't at her best. "I would look after you all, you do know," he pointed out, but then stood. "I think I'm going to get a potion and… well, I promised Edea that I would pamper her in exchange for her good behaviour and cooperation today."

Tiz laughed. "You mean you don't pamper her every day?"

"Only every other day, surely!" Ringabel attempted to defend himself, though he laughed as well. "Well, if she's ill, I'm happy to look after her. You would do the same for Agnès." Or any of them, but especially Agnès.

As he knew he would, Tiz flushed hotly and looked away, mumbling some sort of response. Ringabel wouldn't pry too much, though he wanted more than anything for those two to one day admit their feelings for one another. It might even throw a wrench in Airy's plans.

As long as her plans weren't too disrupted, of course. The thought of it was enough to send him into a panic, and he spent an hour or so in the room with Edea, lounging out on the bed with her with his journal and a novel for her to read, just something to distract him until his thoughts calmed down.

"You're being awfully nice," she told him after he brought her lunch in bed. It was light fare. Soup, crackers, but also tea sweetened with honey and milk, and a huge bowl of chocolate pudding with powdered sugar on top. Delicious.

He smiled at her as he picked at a plate of sausage and grains. "I simply wish to spend more time with you, Edea. We … haven't really had an opportunity to do so, as of late."

Edea went quiet, stirring her soup to watch the noodles stir. She had been rather cruel to him lately, it was true. And even when she was in a good mood, she had been avoiding him. Had been avoiding them all, in an attempt to cover up her illness. "I'm sorry," she said.

"There's nothing you should apo-"

"No, I'm _sorry_. I go and lecture you about avoiding me, but then I do the same. Ringabel, I'm just a little scared." But she couldn't tell him why, not just yet, not even when he fixed a concerned look on her. She placed the soup aside and rolled over a little to face him, reaching out for his hand. "That doesn't mean I should be avoiding you or treating you badly. You've never done anything but be kind and caring toward me."

"I-"

"I mean it!" she interrupted him before he could say anything else, squeezing his fingers. "You're too kind to me, and I don't know what I've done to deserve it. Thank you. I'm sorry. Things will be better."

He opened his mouth, and then closed it, searching her face for some sort of answer. When she looked away, he simply leaned in to kiss her forehead. "Your happiness is my greatest pleasure. That's all I wish for."

She was not going to cry, she thought to herself, mumbling softly at the touch of his lips. He was too sweet and she still didn't know what she'd done to deserve his affection, as appreciated as it was. When he started to lean back, her hand shot out to grab the front of his shirt, stopping his movements. "I don't know why you're so… you," she said flatly, and he gave her a wide, sunny smile before it faded somewhat. "But thank you for loving me."

His hand caressed her cheek, and she flushed at the tender touch and the bright look in his eyes. "There's nothing in this world I would rather do."

"Mrgg, stop with the poetics," she grumbled. "If you want to kiss me, you can."

It was his turn to flush now, and he hesitated. "Is that what _you_ want? Kissing is better with two willing participants."

Why was he asking?! She didn't want to have to tell him yes or no. But she rolled back so that her head hit the pillow again, and tugged him with her. Ringabel went, keeping his legs firmly closed and at one side of her own as he settled on top of her, a warm and solid weight that just - it felt good, and she groaned.

He didn't kiss her immediately, nuzzling the tip of his nose against her temple, his lips trailing soon after. She replied by pecking at his jaw, and she could feel him smile at the gesture. From her temple, his mouth found her forehead, then he trailed a hot path down her nose and to both of her warm, flushed cheeks. And then the tip of her nose again, and she whined at him, her hand wrapping around his shoulder. She could feel him breathing hard, his hand fisting in the sheets beneath them.

"You're so impatient, Edea," he teased, nosing at her again, as though she couldn't feel how hot his face was.

"Just stop acting cool and kiss me," she shot back, and no sooner had the words left her mouth did he do just that, pressing his lips firmly against hers. She let out a surprised squeak, even though she really should have seen it coming, and had to pull him back down as he tried to lean away.

The kiss was different than their last, even different than the ones between them _that_ night. It was gentle, and it made a part of her ache as she kissed him back, molding her lips to his. He had more experience than her, with his countless girlfriends, and she could tell he was holding back as his mouth trailed against hers, over and over, as though he was waiting for her. The thought made her feel warm and her hand reached up to grab his so that she could hold it. A moment later, she was squeezing his fingers as her tongue slipped out to caress his lips, shy and a little embarrassed that she still didn't really know how this kind of kissing worked. And even though she could feel him smiling against her lips, he said nothing - couldn't say anything - but let out a pleasured, happy noise as their tongues curled together.

She leaned back against the pillow and let herself be lost in the sensations that were radiating out from her chest and her stomach as they kissed, a pulsing warmth that responded to his gentle touches and his pliant lips. His tongue was heavy and wet against her own, but it was also very gentle, letting her make her own pace as she explored his mouth, tasting the food he'd just eaten. She moaned and dragged his hand down her chest to her belly, where she pressed his hand against, desperate for some sort of contact between them. Ringabel pressed against her a little more, and they parted for quick breaths as he moved fully on top of her, his legs on either side of hers. Edea kept one hand holding his against her belly, while the other slid up to his shoulder, as she plastered wet kisses against his face, feeling so hot, wanting -

The door opened, and then slammed closed, following by the same sound of someone hurrying away. And Edea let out a frustrated cry when Ringabel rolled off of her immediately, breaking the hold they had on each other. He looked down at her, a little nervous, his face flushed. "Perhaps we should start hanging something on the door."

Edea wasn't in a mood for his jokes. She sat up and reached once again for her soup, the mood broken. "I could hang _you _from the door."

He pouted, but took her cue and picked up his plate to finish eating, lest he waste the food. "That would seem rather boring. What would I do, sing at anyone who passes?"

"Why would you - I'll stuff a sock in your mouth before hanging you anywhere, really!"

They kept bickering, and the flush on her cheeks quickly turned to one of irritation, but she was smiling by the time they were finished eating. This was what she liked best. The companionship. The terrible jokes. Being able to argue with him about inane things that no one else could… the kissing was good, but it had to stop, before it ruined everything.

Before the thing growing inside of her ruined everything.

That thought passed through her mind and gave her pause.

"Edea?" Ringabel broke through her thoughts, and when she glanced up at him, he looked absolutely alarmed, crossing the room toward her from the door he'd been just about to walk through. "You're pale. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," she replied, quickly stuffing her face full of chocolate pudding. "Just hungry! This wasn't enough for me. Ringabel, can you go get some more?"

He hesitated, but she was busy scraping every last bit of pudding from the bowl, and didn't look up at him. "Very well… just remain here and I'll return with more for you."

Edea kept the wide smile on her face until the door closed behind him, at which point she finally let her head drop to her knees, wrapping her arms around her legs. She didn't know what she was doing, or thinking, but she had to fix things before they got worse. "Wind Crystal tomorrow, then I'll go see a healer who can tell me what's really wrong with me, if I'm not better by then." Hopefully allowing herself some time to actually rest had cured what ailed her. "And then that will be the end of it."

As Ringabel closed the door to the girl's room behind him, he took a moment to lean against it and breathe. Things were getting out of hand… he liked kissing, had developed a taste and talent for it while in the first world, when he was blissfully nothing more than 'Ringabel', but as much as he fantasized late at night about kissing Edea, every time he did so he thought back to that horrible night. He had enjoyed being with her, touching her, bringing her pleasure, but he couldn't trust himself anymore. If Edea wanted to be kissed, he would gladly kiss her, but his body had reacted every single time, and it was only luck and loose pants that prevented that from being obvious.

He dragged a hand down his face, huffing out in annoyance at himself. Kissing was wonderful, but… Edea deserved more than lust and want.

And poor Agnès deserved more than walking in on it each time.

Ringabel found the vestal in the Drunken Pig, alongside Tiz and Airy, and joined them for a quick cup of tea while the Proprietress cooked up a new, bigger batch of pudding. Agnès flushed when she saw him, again, and he smiled charmingly at her.

It was Tiz who spoke, of course. "Ringabel, I'm happy for you and Edea, but could you please… have some sort of warning system when you do things like that?"

Ringabel choked; of course Tiz had waited until he'd been mid-swallow to speak, and the two brunettes watched him stutter and choke until his airways were clear. "There - there's nothing to be happy for. Nothing between us," he finally forced out, feeling his stomach plummet at his own words. "She's been - it's just because she's been ill, and I want to make her feel better. But that is - that's it."

Agnès and Tiz exchanged a glance.

"It won't happen again," he continued, glancing down into the cup of tea. It was a little too sweet for his liking, but tea had its purposes. "There is nothing between us."

Nothing between them at all.


	4. Little by Little

After a few hours of being bored out of her mind and rolling around in bed, Edea decided that since _she_ was being pampered that day, _Agnès_ deserved some pampering too, especially in preparation for awakening the crystal. As the day drew to a close, the girls spent the evening in the big bathtub in one of the inn restrooms, complete with lots of bubbles and chocolate pudding delivered right to the door by a blushing Tiz.

"We should do this more often," Edea mused, blowing bubbles across the tub toward Agnès.

Agnès giggled, her hair piled loosely on top of her hair and out of the way, cheeks rosy from a scrub that Datz of all people had cooked up for them. Being that they were on a giant airship in the middle of the desert, and all by themselves, it hadn't really been a spa day, but Edea liked to pretend. "Perhaps we should. I recall that Florem had some wonderful facilities that were used to rejuvenate and refresh its visitors."

"Oooh, I bet they're great!" Though who knew what they were like in the corrupted Florem, if they were even still there. Or maybe they were even better, now that there were less restrictions? She was curious now, and though there was that pang in her chest that Eternia was responsible for warping Florem's ways, she reminded herself that it wasn't all bad, was it? Some good had come out of the change - the economy was much better, right?

"I was too young to enjoy them when I visited as a child, but perhaps now as an adult…" The Vestal trailed off, poking at her chin with one soapy finger.

"As an adult, and the Vestal besides, it's about time that you get to use them. They should even let you use them for free."

"I don't mind paying, the same as any other."

"Nonono," Edea insisted, shaking her hands so quickly that a blob of bubbles smacked her in the face. "You deserve a wonderful, good spa day. We could even get Tiz or Ringabel to pay for it. But you're not going to. How about we just stop by the next time that we're in Florem?" Agnès needed rest between crystals, so she might as well rest in a spa! It sounded great.

And Agnès now gave her a smile. "We have so much pg that I don't mind paying for it myself. However, if you're willing to come with me…"

"Of course I will," Edea laughed. "Girl's day out." But after another few moments of quiet, relaxing soaking, she sighed heavily and moved to get out. They had been in there long enough that the water, despite using magic to reheat it, was getting cold, and her fingers were pruny. Besides, she really had to go the bathroom.

Agnès watched her go, rinsing off the last of the scrub before she made to follow. "You look like you've been gaining some weight, Edea. It's good your sickness isn't affecting you too badly."

Edea froze for a moment, before wrapping a towel around her figure and grumbling lightly to herself, feeling more than a little self-conscious. But they talked about each other's bodies all the time, it was nothing new. "I think I'm just bloated. You know - it's just… _That_." There was no way she could explain to Agnès of all people her fears. The other woman wouldn't understand.

"Ohh… I see. That explains it. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up." Agnès hugged the other girl before they parted ways, Edea heading to the toilet section of the restroom.

But her mood was soured now by the comment, and she curled in on herself once she was alone, hand cautiously stroking her belly as though it might bite her. There was absolutely no way… she had to swallow past the lump in her throat, rub her eyes with an angry fist. They had to awaken the Wind Crystal tomorrow - perhaps while she and Agnès were in Florem for a girl's day out in a couple of weeks, she could stop by a clinic to have herself looked at if she wasn't better by then.

The next morning, she woke up before anyone else, having gotten more than her fair share of sleep the day before, and bounded down to the pub, ignoring her body's protests until she made it. There was after all, a decently kept bathroom in there, and it afforded relative privacy as she threw up again. Not even the Proprietress seemed to notice, though she was taken aback by Edea being the first one down for breakfast.

"I'm just really geared up to go," she smiled cheerfully as she drank a cup of ginger tea, followed by another one, just in case, before she even started on her usual stack of pancakes and jelly donuts. The others joined her quickly, and if they found it odd that she was awake and so peppy that early in the morning, they didn't say anything, even though Ringabel did try to check her temperature with a hand as they started heading out. She smacked him in the shoulder for that one.

An hour later, she was grumbling at herself for the tea. Even though the Wind Temple was the same as always, they still had to fight their way to the altar. The fighting was rejuvenating in a way. It made her head clear. It made her blood pound in her heart, and she never felt as alive as when she was killing monsters, helping to purify the temple again and reclaim it for the Vestals. For Agnès.

But as much as she loved fighting, she couldn't fight her body's natural urges. And yet, she tried to, ignoring her discomfort as they stepped into the crystal altar room.

There, just as it had been 8 times previously…

"Look!" Tiz cried, pointing out the darkness that covered the crystal, as though candle wax had been dripped on it, or perhaps a build up of pure refuse.

"This crystal has also reverted…" Agnès said sadly, her gaze sweeping across it as she slowly approached the giant floating crystal. It had, but that wasn't the only problem. The cloud of darkness, a choking scent in the air, the corruption was visibly gathering at a point on the crystal and heading for them.

Ringabel stopped Agnès with a hand on her shoulder before she could move any closer. "Wait, something lurks nearby!" Edea mouthed the words along with him, before she spoke up next, hand reaching for the sword at her hip.

"Another creature back from destruction!"

"Here they come!" Tiz managed to get out as Orthos materialized in front of them.

Edea was playing her favorite role, that of complete offense. Ringabel was the healer today, for some odd reason, and while Tiz was also playing offense, Agnès was support; it would be easier for her to awaken the crystals if she wasn't drained from the inevitable fight.

Of the many beasts they fought, Orthos was fairly straight forward. Two heads, two weaknesses, but it was so easy to tell them apart. So easy to exploit the weakness on one head and protect themselves from the other. Edea lost herself in the fight, focusing on the one task at hand, to take down her enemy.

But as one monstrous head finally drooped the ground, she felt another painful urge surface, and she stumbled slightly, her attack missing. For a moment, panic welled in her. What was she doing, fighting like this? Edea paused in battle, and pressed one of her hands against her stomach, careful not to hurt herself on the spikes of the spear she held. It wasn't just that she wasn't in top condition, but she had no idea how to protect the little thing possibly growing inside of her or if it would even be hurt by her actions. If she were really - and something happened -

"Edea!" Ringabel cried, and she snapped out of it just as she was hit by the fireball. Pain bubbled up across her limbs, and though Ringabel was quick to follow up with a healing spell, she felt numb and stiff. She hadn't been fully healed; that would have to wait until after the battle but she could still fight.

The blow brought her back to focus and more than that, it enraged her. Weren't animals supposed to have a sense about that sort of thing?! How dare it attack her when she was like this! She defaulted for the next round, gearing up her defenses, and Ringabel healed her again. She smiled to herself, thankful that he would always, always be looking out for her, even when she was being foolish.

The remaining head looked like it was just barely alive, and after Tiz blasted it with a bit of ice magic, Edea decided to just go all out, especially if Ringabel had her back. She threw everything she had into one final series of attacks, preferring to just stab the damn thing to death instead of any of the Valkyrie's fancier techniques.

To her great relief it worked, and as soon as the monster was dispatched and disintegrated into nothingness again, she sagged to the ground, her spears falling beside her.

"Edea," Agnès gasped, kneeling beside the other girl. Edea squeezed one hand against her stomach as she fought to regain her breath. She could not miss the way that Ringabel and Tiz both turned toward them, nor the way that Ringabel grasped his staff tightly as he approached. She had to get out of there before he could get too close.

"It just - I just thought of something distracting" she breathed, standing. "You have a crystal to awaken. I- I'll help you change, come on." And then maybe she could make quick use of the living quarters herself.

"I want you to sit and stay here while I finish healing you," Ringabel interrupted them, and he grasped Edea's arm. "I told you that you weren't well enough to fight, Edea! Instead, you had to be foolish and stubborn! You could have been hurt. You could have _died_." He was angry, angrier than usual, his voice biting. They all gaped at him.

"I… I do think it may be best for you to stay and catch your breath," Agnès said, stepping back. "Tiz? Perhaps you could assist."

"No!" Edea insisted, shoving Ringabel away with such force that they both staggered back, Edea caught by Tiz just as he came back behind her. Ringabel recovered on his own, and she could see the years of experience in his movements as he straightened up and stared at her. She could also see quite clearly the hurt on his face. They all stared at her.

"I'll go with Agnès," Edea asserted, looking away from them all. She was horrible. "It's not proper if Tiz helps her with this, and I've always done it. I-I want to do it. And I would like to use the bathroom, too."

"Oh. Oh," Ringabel said, and he stepped back a little more. Even out of the corner of her eye she could see the forced smile. "I'll heal you when you return."

"I don't need - "

"Whatever you decide, hurry up!" Airy interrupted them, hovering overhead. Useless in a fight, she had finally fluttered back to them as the monster was defeated. "We don't have all day, you know!"

Edea forced a smile at her. "We're going, we're going!" She reached for Agnès and pulled the other girl away from the altar and back toward the temple proper. "Let's go, Agnès… let's get it over with."

As soon as they were out of sight, and into the relative peace was the Vestal's living quarters, Edea took a few moments to compose herself in the restroom, scrubbing her face with water from a broken sink and drinking a little more water to rehydrate herself.

"Are you angry at him?" Agnès asked her once she returned, already stripped down to her underthings and waiting for Edea's helping hand.

"I'm not angry at him at all," Edea replied numbly, as she and Agnès started the usual process of dressing the Vestal and making sure that the garb was immaculate. That it was laced up tightly in the back, no huge tears, and that it fit on her the way it was supposed to.

"I see," Agnès replied, going quiet. "So you yelled and shoved him because you weren't angry?"

Edea huffed as she rummaged around for Agnès' brush in their bags, wanting to brush out the Vestal's hair before she started the ceremony - it always got so tangled when she was active, and the less distractions, the better.

"I'll apologise to him later. It's just that I don't need him coddling me everytime I sneeze. Whose idea was it for him to be healer today anyway?"

"It was his," Agnès replied. "He asked us last night if we would mind, because he wanted to make sure you would be well, and wanted me to reserve my strength."

"Oh." Well, that explained it. A part of Edea was loathe to allow him to heal her, at least so close and intimately. Curagas fired off across the battlefield were one thing - one way spells that were the result of an incantation. But when deep healing was required, it was a different thing. It would mean Ringabel would have to be close to her. It meant he'd be able to feel if there was anything wrong with her body - and she realized that was probably want he had wanted to do. Of course. Scowling, she pushed him out of her mind and focused on the task at hand - Agnès!

"He was worried," Agnès reminded her.

Edea sighed. The act of brushing Agnès' hair - she had so much of it! - was usually very calming and fun for them both, but she was so much on edge she couldn't enjoy it.

"I know he's worried. And I'm grateful that he worries about me. I know why he does, too. It's just - I'm not a child anymore. I can take care of myself."

Agnès was quiet for a few moments as Edea finished up, taking out the last of the tangles. "Ringabel is a good person. He would worry about any of us who weren't feeling well. I believe you would do the same."

"Of course I would, Agnès!" Edea vowed, and wrapped her arms loosely around the other girl from behind as soon as she set the brush aside. "You're my friends. I would take care of you."

Agnès giggled and leaned back into the embrace, touching Edea's arm with a hand. "Allow us to care for you in return." The vestal turned around so that she was facing Edea, beaming down slightly at her.

Edea stepped back when she did, mindful of the fact that she was a little dirty and Agnès was - Agnès was dressed in gorgeous ceremonial garb that was so difficult to clean. But before she could move too much, Agnès had grabbed her hands and closed her eyes, focusing.

"Oh!" Edea exclaimed, feeling a familiar warmth spread across her form, relieving so much of the aches she felt. Right,Agnès was using an asterisk that had some healing powers. It was so nice… like floating on a cloud for a few moments. Even though she knew that Agnès really shouldn't be doing this, not when she had to awaken a crystal so soon, the gesture was appreciated. A lump formed in her throat as she reminded herself that just as much as she wanted to protect her friends, they wanted to protect her too.

The warmth faded, as did the glow on Agnès' hands, and just as Edea opened her mouth to thank Agnès for healing her, she noticed the frown on the other girl's face. She looked…confused.

"Edea, why - "

"Are you two done yet?" Airy interrupted again, flitting around the entrance to the living quarters. Both girls jumped, and the conversation was forgotten as Edea hastily packed everything except for Agnès' change of clothes back into the pack. "We've been waiting forever! You need to hurry and awaken the crystal before Orthos comes back!"

"I-I am on my way!" Agnès called, and though the fairy fluttered into the room to escort her out, Agnès shot Edea a quick look that had the blonde's stomach sinking.

Agnès knew, didn't she.

At the very least, Edea could dodge Ringabel's insistence to heal her when she followed Agnès back to the altar, even though the older boy looked unconvinced she was fine.

"That was a big fireball, Edea," Ringabel whispered, leaning over just enough so that she could hear him. If Airy thought they weren't paying attention or doing something that might distract Agnès, she would get angry, as she had before.

"Agnès healed me, I'm fine," she replied, not looking at him. "And you did too, remember? Twice. If I don't feel well tonight, I'll let you know."

"Edea-"

"Shh," Tiz was the one who interrupted them this time, giving them both a glance. "She's starting."

Edea kept her eyes trained on Agnès' kneeling form, trying to match her breathing just as the other girl did. Being untrained, and not really knowing how to read the crystal's natural rhythm, she was never really able to do it. But she could pretend. She could try. And she kept her hands folded in front of her belly as she breathed in and out, watching with a growing dread as the light around the crystal grew brighter and brighter until finally -

She closed her eyes as the light was summoned completely. Even though she had experienced it 12 times before, it was always a shock to her heart. The light was almost painful in its intensity, piercing through her eyelids and making her skin feel tight. She wondered if it could be felt inside of her body as well, and if it was comforting or distressing. Her hand hovered over her belly before she dropped it back to her side.

"You did it, Agnès!" Airy cheered, and the fairy checked her brooch. As it had 12 times previously, the jewel that corresponded to the right crystal was now glowing. "Only three left!"

If only Edea could believe that anymore, though at the very least, this meant that the blessed wind would return. The group exchanged tired smiles as the girls once again headed off to get Agnès' changed - this time back into her regular clothing so that they could leave, and so the Vestal could get some real rest. And this time, the boys waited outside the living chambers for them, Airy perching on Tiz's shoulder.

Edea folded up the vestal garb for her while Agnès pulled her clothes back on.

"Edea," Agnès said quietly, mindful of the two men nearby. "Before, when I was healing you - "

"I don't want to talk about it," Edea replied quickly, just as quietly. "Not here… let's wait until we get back." Because as much as she didn't want Ringabel to know right now, she definitely didn't want to let Airy know. No. No. Not at all.

While she had no way of confirming what Agnès had felt or seen or whatever the white magic sense had given her, Edea had a feeling it was intimately involved with what had been plaguing her the past few weeks.

And as she joined Agnès in their room that afternoon for a brief nap, Agnès confirmed it. They had both already changed in their nightgowns and were now relaxing from the fight. The usual grand dinner would be served in a few hours, but until then, all of them had their own ways of healing after the battle. Ringabel liked to drink or write. Tiz liked to read, or even do chores. Agnès usually slept or took a bath. And since Edea liked to save her appetite for the feast, she usually sparred or napped.

Now, she curled up with Agnès on the older girl's big bed, allowing the other girl to rest her hand on her stomach. No one would disturb them if they thought they were sleeping.

"When I was healing you earlier, I felt another life-force aside from your own. It was so odd, and right about… here,"Agnès murmured, moving her hand around. It was glowing slightly with white magic, and Edea could feel the warmth of the glow spreading throughout her entire body. It was as though she'd grown used to the fatigue and the slight discomfort in her stomach, but now that magic was numbing it - oh she felt so alive. For a moment she considered asking Agnès to use that glow on her tender breasts, but thought better of it, mind crashing back to reality as she processed what the other girl said.

"Another life-force… ? What's it feel like?" she asked, curious, even as anxiety and dread pulsed in her.

"Small," Agnès replied, her hand moving again, gentle but sure, right down to Edea's lower belly. She'd never had a completely flat stomach (that took more commitment than she was willing to put in) and Agnès' palm fit perfectly over the slight curve of it. The light flickered before going out, and she summoned it back with little thought. "Very small. Young, perhaps."

Edea bit her lip at those words, and willed tears not to spring into her eyes as her hand hesitantly covered Agnès' until the glow went out again. She had no reason to cry, right? It was just that Agnès was a witness, in a way, to what Edea had been wondering for the past weeks, and now the blonde didn't know what she was feeling as a maelstrom of emotions swirled through her. Relief? Fear? Excitement? Horror? She settled for acceptance, mostly. And sadness.

"Edea?" Agnès asked, seeing the look on her friend's face. Edea looked like she'd been struck in the face by a Mandragora. "Are you a-"

"I'm pregnant," Edea finished for her, laying back against the pillows. When Agnès' hand pulled away, hers remained, rubbing gently at the skin of her stomach, wondering if she would be able to feel her baby's life-force too if she used healing magic on herself. "… I'm pregnant." She was actually, officially pregnant, and with Ringabel's child to boot. Oh Crystals.

When the older girl was very quiet for a few moments, Edea chanced to look over at her, bracing herself for the disappointment she expected to see, and paused when she saw Agnès thinking, cradling her chin in her hand and tapping her lip with her finger.

"I don't understand," Agnès finally said, noticing that Edea was looking. "How did that happen?"

"Well, Agnès, when a mommy and daddy really love each other," Edea started, forcing herself to make light of the situation, but she trailed off when she noticed how confused the Vestal looked. Oh no, please no. "… You know how babies are made, don't you?"

"Children are born from their mothers when the woman makes the decision with her partner to bring new life into the world, and their prayers are answered by the crystal," Agnès informed her. "What I don't understand how you could have gotten pregnant, especially at this time. You're not even wed!"

Edea sighed. Agnès' words were so innocent, and even though they were not meant to judge, it still stung somewhat. And she was technically right, wasn't she?

"I don't… really know all the details, myself, how it actually happens. How… who determines why a woman has a baby when she does. But babies are made when a woman and a man join together," the blonde explained slowly, rubbing at her stomach again. It had only been the once! If this was the work of a crystal, she was going to have to figure out which one and have _words_ with it.

"Join together?"

"Ringabel and I had sex," Edea finally blurted out bluntly. "He planted his seed in me, and the resulting flower is the life-force you felt." Afterwards, she felt a little sick. Having it all out there, like that?

Whatever explanation Agnès had been expecting, it wasn't that. The vestal squeaked and clapped her hands to her mouth in surprise, eyes wide. Sheltered she may have been, but even she knew the basics and what Edea had said.

"You and… _Ringabel_?" Agnès clarified. That had been what she'd been missing - people who had babies were supposed to be married and in love. And they were supposed to be older than all of them were, except for perhaps Ringabel - he was about that age when men started to have families, wasn't he? And he was very much in love with Edea. Come to think of it - the two of them had been kissing lately, is that what had caused this to happen…? And she had walked in on it! Her blush deepened.

"Hold on, hold on, Agnès," Edea protested quickly. "I don't know what you're thinking but - it was just the once and it was weeks ago!"

"Oh."

"Babies make their mothers sick… that's how a lot of women know they're expecting. And I've heard women say that no matter how horrible they feel while pregnant, it's always worth it." Which she wasn't sure she really believed. "It's why I've been feeling so sick. And kind of why I've been trying to ignore it. I - I didn't think I could actually be pregnant. It was just the _once_."

"Oh…"

Here she was, confessing entirely. Edea signed. "He wasn't feeling well, and he wouldn't sleep, and I was tired. So I asked him if he… you know, he wanted to - to be with me, and he accepted. We… it was a mistake. I made a mistake, but I won't regret it! But this is why things have been so weird between us lately." And things were just going to get weirder.

"_Oh_."

Edea glanced at the other girl. The way that latest 'oh' had sounded was off. Agnès was looking at her still with some confusion in her eyes, but her gaze was otherwise firm.

"Agnès?"

"Do you truly believe your child is a mistake?"

Was that how it sounded? Edea sat up straighter. "That's not what I meant to say," she argued, and now she felt a pang in her chest that _anyone_ would describe their child as a mistake. That wasn't - that wasn't right at all. Babies shouldn't be mistakes, even if they were unplanned. Unplanned it may have been, but their baby was not a _mistake._

"It's just that Ringabel and I - we weren't ready for it. What we did that night - he loves me, you know that. But I can't say that I love him back and I never should have slept with him." She was definitely babbling now as the full gravity of the situation came down on her. She was pregnant with Ringabel's child, and she had no idea what to do. This wasn't a problem she could face with her fists. It shouldn't be a problem at all. She had promised Ringabel and herself she wouldn't regret that night, but now it had lead to something tangible and solid and _alive_, life created between the two of them that was growing even now. What was she going to do?

Agnès must have seen the brief look of panic on her face, because she reached over and touched Edea's hand that still resting on her stomach. Edea rolled a little closer so that she could lean against the other girl, and they both went quiet for a few moments

"… Does he know yet?" Agnès asked. It would explain his behaviour. He was very protective, and knowing what she knew about his past…

"No," Edea shook her head, and bit her lip. Of course he didn't, he'd never let her out of his sight if he knew, much less let her go into battle the way she had. "I didn't know either, not for sure. Not until you told me. I wanted to get looked at by a healer or someone who had some experience knowing what was wrong with me. Maybe I still should. Just in case your magic senses are off. Maybe it's just a parasite. Like a worm. Or my stomach virus has evolved."

Agnès gave her a look. Oh Edea, hated _those_ looks. She didn't receive them as often as Ringabel did, whenever he said something completely ridiculous, but they always made her feel like she'd said just a little too much.

"Edea, how long have you suspected you might be with child?" The Vestal suddenly continued a on a few moments later.

"Oh, hmm… just about a week or so. Not very long." She explained how she had chalked up her initial morning sickness as stress, and only realized she might actually have something else going on once she noticed the lack of her cycle, the tenderness in her form, all those weird symptoms pregnant ladies supposedly got, things she didn't pay attention to in school. Growing up, she had figured that when she had children, she would be late in her 20s and she and her partner would be trying for them, so she'd just _know_. Or at least be expecting it!

"I see," the older girl mused, eyes glancing off to the side as she counted off on her fingers, thinking back to when she had first noticed Edea's illness. It fit. "And so, you decided to go into battle, even though you had good reason to believe there was a child whose life is dependent on your safety?"

Edea flinched at the accusation.

"I didn't know for sure! And you guys needed me there… please don't make me stop fighting, Agnès. I'll get this taken care of." The words came out of her mouth before she even registered them.

"Taken -"

"Stop, wait," Edea said before Agnès could repeat that back, because she didn't want to _hear it,_ and the other girl went quiet. "I have to tell him first. I really have to tell him." Even though everything felt surreal, and she felt so confused, she knew that Ringabel needed to know more than anything. And though her own words were beginning to clue her on what the best, most reasonable, most responsible course of action would be, she didn't know if she could accept it. So she would worry about it later. For now, she wanted to make sure Ringabel knew - he absolutely deserved to. Edea found she was shaking a little as she thought about it.

"Then you should tell him."

It was not a conversation Edea was looking forward to having. She had no idea how he would react, or if he would react at all. "I want to make sure, first," she decided, even though she knew she was stalling. "There has to be a clinic that can tell me for sure." Maybe even tell her if the baby was healthy or if she'd hurt it in her last fight.

"Edea…" Agnès started, but cut off when the other girl buried her face in her shoulder.

"I can't be a mother right now, Agnès," Edea said, her words somewhat muffled. "I don't know how, and we're in the middle of _your_ journey. It would be too selfish of me to have a child!"

Agnès still didn't quite understand how this could have happened if Edea didn't know if she loved him, and hadn't wanted it, but she wrapped an arm around her friend's shoulders and held her. She had many questions, but those could wait.

"I was taught that children are blessings given to those who want them, and that each life is created for a reason," the Vestal said soothingly. "I believe that holds true here, even if it's in the middle of _our_ journey."

Edea had been taught something similar, that children were supposed to happen to couples who were in love and ready for a family, but that sex was involved and sometimes they could be unplanned, which is why she needed to be careful. In the military, she'd learned even more.

But she said nothing, simply closing her eyes and leaning against her friend as she tried to comprehend everything. What she'd suspected was probably true. As much as she didn't want to doubt Agnès' words, neither of them were really trained on how to handle this sort of thing. Maybe she should see a healer, just in case. Someone who could tell her for sure, and who could help her take care of things.

And Edea decided to go from there, as soon as that was done. She'd tell Ringabel, and they'd figure out what to do together. As she tried to calm herself down enough for a quick nap, reminding herself that Agnès _needed_ some rest, she kept thinking over and over in her head how this was against everything she believed in. There was nothing black or white in this situation. Nothing completely good or completely bad about having an unexpected, unplanned baby when she was unwed, in the middle of an incredibly dangerous journey, and didn't know if she was in love with its father, even if he loved her.

She hated shades of gray.

That night, they made it through dinner, Edea reminding herself over and over that she had to eat because there was a tiny innocent life now depending on her for its nourishment. And more than that, Ringabel was watching her like a hawk for any sort of weakness or illness, and even though he stopped staring after the third time she threw melted chocolate in his face, he just got better at hiding his gaze.

Agnès was a surprisingly good actress, Edea having begged her earlier not to let Ringabel know until after she'd been looked at. The vestal was pretending as though she knew nothing, smiling gently at them all as they talked about the crystal having been awakened, and their plans for the next couple of weeks as she recovered from the strain of it.

_"I'm not going to lie to him, Edea," Agnès had said as she changed out of her nightgown and back into her dress._

_"No no, you don't have to lie - I just don't want him to find out that I might be - about _this_ - until I've had a chance to be looked at. So pretend nothing's wrong, and all we did was sleep. I'll take care of things, you can trust me."_

_"Only for tonight, and until you get looked at… if you love him, you should tell him he's going to be a father. He'll be delighted."_

Edea hadn't been very sure about that, both that she loved him or that he would be happy to hear the news. But she promised Agnès she would tell him as soon as possible, and was just thankful that she had her best friend's support during this. It was going to be rough, she could already tell.

Why couldn't she just face this with her fists?

As dinner wound to a close, Ringabel finally seemed to pick up on her bad mood and retreated to the bridge so that they could move away from The Temple of Wind, and Edea sagged slightly in her seat, clutching her mug of sweetened tea.

It was then that Tiz approached, holding a tray of full of just-baked cookies and bowls of sweet cream. Edea's eyes lit up as he offered them to both her and Agnès, and gratefully took one.

He waited until she'd eaten two cookies before speaking.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on? Ringabel's worried out of his mind and I'm running out of things to tell him."

Edea was grateful he waited until her mouth wasn't full, but she paused with a cookie against her lip and exchanged a glance with Agnès. The other girl said nothing, but shook her head. If she wasn't going to lie to Ringabel, she was most certainly not going to lie to Tiz.

How to put this… Edea nodded, sticking her cookie in her mouth to give her some time to think.

Tiz was patient, of course, and waited as she chewed and chewed and chewed, and swallowed half of her glass of tea to wash it down. Only then did she finally open her mouth.

"Tiz?" Edea started, worrying at her bottom lip and playing with her spoon. "You used to be a shepherd, right?"

That was apparently not what the man was expecting. He looked taken aback, and a glance at Agnès showed him how confused the vestal was by the question as well. "Yes? Why, is there a problem?"

"No, no. Of course not," the blonde laughed, then fidgeted in her seat. Tiz could know, but she didn't know how to tell him. "I just want to to be sure - how many times did you have to put the … the female sheep-"

"Ewes."

"— how many times did you have to put the _ewes _in with the rams before they got pregnant?" she finished, huffing and refusing to look him in the face, her own bright red. It was a weird way to ask, but a part of her wanted to make sure it could happen on the first time, and she didn't exactly want to _tell_ Tiz she'd had sex with Ringabel. That was just weird.

Tiz stared at Edea some more, then back to Agnès, who shook her head, then back to Edea, his eyes falling to her stomach. Before Edea could ask him if he was alright, and to tell him to _say_ something already, the man hunched over, hiding his face in his hands.

"I'm so sorry, Edea!"

Now it was the two girls who shared a confused look. "Why are you sorry, Tiz?" Edea asked.

"Because I should have given him a better talk about safe sex!" the shepherd squeaked out, and she could see his face turning red between his fingers. Agnès made a quiet sound, biting her lip and pressing her hands against her own face.

Edea frowned at him. "What was that about safe sex?" And why hadn't she heard about it?

"I thought - his memory being what it was back then- that he may not remember. Right before we left Caldisla, I took him aside and just talked to him. Gave him a few condoms that we purchased in the city. Just in case…"

"Why didn't you tell _me_ about the condoms?" Edea asked him. She doubted she and Ringabel would have been in their right minds to use them that night, but maybe! They might have. Or she could have thought of some other way to tire him that didn't involve him releasing inside of her, and that would have cleared up this whole mess.

His face was so red she half-worried he might pass out at the table. "I- I didn't think - I'm so sorry, Edea."

Agnès was the first to take pity on him, the Vestal carefully reaching over to place a hand on his shoulder. He made an interesting, embarrassed noise.

But Edea shook her head. "You needn't apologise. It's his - it's Ringabel who needs to take responsibility for this…" He didn't know yet, she thought, but he would soon. And - "I might not even be pregnant?" She forced a laugh, already knowing that she was deeply in denial. She'd tried to feel the little life-force for her self, but hadn't been able to. Her own drowned it out. "Perhaps we could see a doctor in Ancheim and have them take a look at me, just to be sure."

Because if there was one thing she was certain of, it was that she absolutely couldn't go to Eternia like this. What if the Braev of this world found out…? Worse, what if the Alternis of this world found out? She wasn't very worried about her mother's - she knew she would have her support no matter what - but she was certain either of the two men would not be pleased. And it wasn't like she wanted Ringabel dead.

"Ancheim? We're not too far, I'll tell Ringabel we need - "

"No!" Edea interrupted him, so loudly that both of the others jumped, and she glanced at the rest of the pub to see if the others had noticed, too. They hadn't, thankfully.

She continued. "Don't… don't tell him yet. Not why." Her hands pressed more firmly against her belly. Tiz was a terrible liar, what was she thinking letting him know about this until she was ready to tell the father? "Tell him to stop by Ancheim before we leave the region… if he asks why, we'll just tell him that we want to eat there. He won't question that, will he?" Ringabel liked Ancheim's cuisine, knew she liked it too. He wouldn't mind staying there a few days for that - meanwhile, that would give her the time she needed to get checked out without him knowing.

Tiz hesitated. "I'm not going to lie to him, Edea. You should tell him."

"I'll tell him once I'm sure," she murmured, biting at her lip. "You know it'll just hurt him if I tell him and it's a false alarm. Please, Tiz?" She would ask Ringabel to go to Ancheim herself if she was certain she wouldn't accidentally give it away by acting nervous. She felt sick, though. She had promised Ringabel that she wouldn't avoid him again, and here she was keeping this from him when he needed to know more than anyone.

In the end, they recruited Datz's help, and though the Shieldbearer was understandably confused, he agreed to relay the request to have the ship moored down near Ancheim for a few days so the party could rest and recoup, stock up on supplies, and the girls could have a "girls day out".

"That's perfect," Edea breathed out in relief as she listened to the plan in the relative privacy of her bedroom. "He won't question that." Hopefully.

Datz offered her a smile. "I'm sure he'll be happy to have the chance to spend some time with the women there as well, but … whatever's going on, you make sure to tell him as soon as you can." His face grew more serious. "You're both my friends, so I won't take sides, but consider his feelings if he finds out that something's being kept from him"

Her face burned - was she that obvious? - and tried not to wrap her arms around her stomach. Now that she knew what was in there, her hands drifted there often, almost of their own accord. It was the biggest giveaway to her secret.

"I'll tell him soon," she promised, and as soon as the older man was out the door and heading over to the bridge to give the pilot her message, she fell back on the bed, her hand pressing against her stomach. This was so complicated and messy. Expecting a child was supposed to be a good thing for both mother and father, not… this.

She wanted it to be over.

It was less than an hour later that Ringabel's voice came over the PA system, announcing in a flighty, jovial tone that he would be happy to anchor near Ancheim as requested, and that he hoped Agnès and Edea would _enjoy_ themselves while they were there. He went on to speculate about the women in the city, if one of his ex-girlfriends was still living there, and if she might want to go on a date, and Edea toned out the rest of his babbling, gritting her teeth.

He was upset that he was being avoided and left out, she could tell, but what kind of man went gallivanting around when the woman he claimed to love was - oh. Right. He didn't know yet because she refused to tell him until she was absolutely positive. She tried to let go of the irritation that she felt, but that was easier said than done, and she rolled over on her side to face away from the door when it opened and Agnès entered, instead trying to conjure up a bit of white magic in an another attempt to feel that life-force for herself. It didn't work, but it was calming all the same. She could imagine it was there.

If Ringabel wanted to run around and attempt to be the wannabe Casanova he'd played at being previously, then she would let him, so long as he didn't find out about the secret she carried. She would let him, because she knew once he found out about his child - if it were true, of course - then everything would change between them again.

She just wanted this to be over.


	5. With My Inexperienced Heart

The next day saw them anchored outside of Ancheim, as promised. Ringabel's eyes lingered on Edea's form as she headed up the stairs leading to the main street of the city, until he forced himself to look away and go back to the inn on the ship, his steps as heavy as his heart.

Despite his joking about it, Ringabel found he just couldn't bring himself to spend the day in Ancheim flirting with women and especially not after he could feel Edea glaring daggers at the back of his head that entire morning. He felt like he could be the one sick after all that. Had she changed her mind? Was she angry at him and never wanted to see him again? He likely deserved it. It hurt, but after what had happened in the temple, he should have expected it.

On top of that, Agnès and Tiz were both guarded around him as well. It was upsetting, to think that somehow he was being left out of something between the three of them, and old, buried feelings that Alternis used to carry of being an outsider, unwanted, unloved, were threatening to boil up beneath the surface. He tried to ignored them the best that he could, offering smiles and kindness to his friends in an attempt to calm himself and perhaps get back into their good graces, lest they abandon him.

So, while the girls were out shopping, he decided he would willingly give up his wallet to Edea and spend the day finally unpacking the very last of his packs from when the group had been walking the world - the first one (or second for him, he supposed). Tiz went with him, to his pleasant surprise, though he couldn't quite articulate that he appreciated the companionship to the other boy as they headed back to the inn, idly chatting. But he did give the other boy something of a hug as they entered their room and Ringabel threw himself on the floor.

"You're just now doing that?" Tiz asked, perched on the end of his bed in their room as he watched Ringabel upend his pack so that the contents scattered all over. Easiest way to organize, really.

"Well, I've been a bit busy," the older boy replied, starting to separate things into piles of 'keep' and 'throw away'.

Old makeup was mostly thrown away, though he found a few bright palettes he'd never actually used, and spent some time playing with them, digging out a brush and demanding that Tiz brandish an arm for him to test the shades on, which of course the other boy refused. He'd keep those for now, then, just until he knew how they looked.

There were various notes, things written down on other notebooks or scrap pieces of paper - usually used when one of the others had borrowed his notebook or something he hadn't wanted them to see. He reviewed them for interesting bits they may need - they mostly seemed to be girls' names and addresses - before tossing them into the throw away pile as well.

Extra socks, a small first aid kit, and a pouch of emergency funds he had apparently, at one point, hidden from Edea went into the keep pile.

He smiled fondly as he found a worn photograph he'd paid for someone to take of the whole group in Florem, and handed it over for Tiz to place safely on the nightstand, and was still rummaging through various bits of trash and expired potions when he found -

A small foil packet, very worn from sitting in the bottom of a pack for so long. His stomach churned as he examined it, and he flushed as he remembered the conversation in which he had received it, and the circumstances just a few weeks ago in which it might have come in handy, though as he opened the package, he noticed a few small puncture marks. Hmm.

"That's where that went!" Tiz exclaimed, and Ringabel amused himself for a moment by unrolling the rubbery sheath and stretching it out, only for the thing to snap in half from the tears in it.

Both men winced.

"I didn't exactly have any opportunities to use it," Ringabel stated in his defense, hastily gathering up the pieces.

"You didn't?"

"W-well, no of course not. Surely you knew I was saving myself for my one true angel, Edea," Ringabel was flushing hotly now, unable to look up at Tiz. It was true, though. He had flirted and kissed, but the idea of actually sleeping with any other person aside from the one he truly loved was unfathomable. It was far too intimate an act to share with just anyone. And now, even though the two of them had gone that far, he still knew he would never sleep with any other.

"Do you… want me to get you another? You might need it again." Tiz asked, and he could practically feel the waves of fluster from the other boy.

"No, that's not necessary," Ringabel mumbled in reply as he balled up the pieces of latex into a ball. It was too late to use it with Edea, and he doubted they would ever have sex again. She wouldn't let him get that close, he had ruined their relationship due to his lack of self-control. He had no desire to be with anyone else aside from her, and - there was no point in going down that path right now, not with Tiz in the room. "I would never have need for it."

Tiz was silent for a long time. "Better safe than sorry," the other boy finally said. "Besides, you can use them for - other things. Not just, you know."

"Sex."

"Right! Not just sex."

Despite how warm his face felt, Ringabel smiled all the same at the way that Tiz's voice cracked. "You're the one who started the conversation, Tiz! Surely you can say the word. Though personally I prefer the term love-making." It was more intimate. And he wanted to think that he had made love with Edea, as awkward and kind of embarrassing as it had been.

There were a couple more of the packets hidden amongst the various trash, and Ringabel discarded them all, trying not to feel bitter about it.

Tiz watched him work, biting his lip until it hurt. Ringabel was being very inefficient when it came to cleaning up the rest of his pack, but that wasn't what he wanted to comment on. While a part of him was glad to see that Ringabel had taken his talk to heart and had actually kept the condoms, he was a little annoyed they'd been forgotten at the bottom of his old pack. That was why they were all punctured! Of course they would have been useless had Ringabel even remembered them, but he wanted so badly to mention it to the other boy. It was only the reminder that he wasn't supposed to even know about the liaison with Edea that kept him from saying something.

And he was so, so glad that Ringabel hadn't noticed the usage of the word 'again'. His heart had just about stopped when he'd uttered it. But still, Tiz wanted to believe that if the two of them were compatible, they could be happy together.

The two of them, _and_ the child they had created together.

It was wrong to keep this from Ringabel, but it would be even more wrong if Ringabel found out from anyone else that Edea was carrying his baby before she had a chance to tell him. And he knew that if he were probed, he would give the secret away. So he tried to keep his mouth shut, his hands grasping tightly at the bedsheets as Ringabel finished cleaning up before the older boy rolled over onto his own bed with a loud whine, kicking his feet that he was bored and lonely.

Tiz smiled at his best friend, before getting off his bed and crossing the two feet to the other, throwing himself on top of Ringabel for an impromptu wrestling match. Ringabel was not alone.

In Ancheim, Edea felt like a fool. It was taking far too long to find a doctor who would see her about her particular _problem_, and with the Vestal at her side, she was sure she was being judged for it. Worse, she worried that a few of the people they had talked to were judging _Agnès_, as though she were just a front for the Vestal's inquiry? It infuriated her! Agnès had to hold her back in one particular clinic before she stormed out, and though she knew she had attracted whispers and stares, it had been long after her anger burned off that she actually cared.

But finally, as she stuffed her face full of spicy noodles and spicier meat, she calmed down. Perhaps it was just because now her secret was out, but she'd felt so good that morning, even though her stomach hadn't been completely settled. Now, she was just hungry, and eating for two.

"Why can't anyone tell me if I'm really pregnant or not? This city is full of prudes. You'd think they had never dealt with it before."

"Ancheim emphasizes traditional family values… there are many people with large families here, but it's uncommon for children to be born outside of wedlock, as far as I am aware," Agnès informed her, the other girl sitting across the booth.

"Still, they should be able to tell me… Maybe - Maybe if I just go in and tell them what my symptoms are, they confirm it that way?" Considering all the looks she had gotten as an unwed girl asking for information on pregnancy, she had figured it wouldn't be quite as simple.

"Perhaps." Agnès answered, stirring her noodles around, watching the other girl. "The healers would be willing to tell you whatever they had to, in order to treat you."

"I've been going about all this wrong," Edea growled a moment later as she realized that was people _normally_ did. She let her head fall to the table with a loud thunk, careful not to spill her noodles.

Agnès smiled at her and reached across the table to pat the girl's hand. "It's your first time doing this. You're handling it quite well, really."

"First and last," Edea replied, slightly muffled. Next time she was pregnant, she was going to be happily married and her partner and she would be _trying_ for a baby. She'd be expecting a pregnancy. She'd be happy for it.

Not that she was unhappy. She still didn't quite know how she felt about the news that she was carrying a new life inside of her. It was just weird, to think that one night had led to this.

She still refused to regret her decision from that night, because she had promised not to, and because she didn't want to do that to Ringabel, when neither of them could have imagined this would have happened.

But as the day went on and her irritation only grew, she was beginning to regret the decision to go to Ancheim. Now, the issue was finding a clinic that could see her at all, and it was well past noon that they finally were able to find a little place, seemingly family-run, that had the time to see her.

Edea sat on the bed, kicking her feet a little and wishing they would reach the ground so she didn't feel like a child

"Well?" The doctor said, an older woman with glasses and a severe bun. "Tell me how you're feeling?"

The blonde took a deep breath, and glanced over at Agnès, who was seated in the nearby chair. The vestal nodded. That was all the encouragement that Edea needed before she began to babble.

"Sick… especially in the mornings, almost every morning. I've been feeling fatigued in general, and a little sore, especially in my torso, my… breasts. Also, my pants have been getting a little tight, even though I have been so sick. It's like I'm on my cycle, but worse." Listing out her symptoms made her feel foolish, as though she should have known from the beginning what was going on. It seemed so obvious.

The doctor raised an eyebrow. "Is there a chance you could be pregnant, young lady?"

The question didn't seem to be judgmental, but Edea still hesitated. "I've been very stressed lately, but yes… maybe. It was only the once!"

"Once is all that's needed for it to happen," the woman replied, crossing over to a drawer and rummaging around in it. "If you're not sure, I've got a test I can conduct- given your symptoms, we should do that before going any further."

Finally, some progress. Finally, it actually seemed real! Edea laid back on the bed, pulling her shirt up just enough to expose her tummy to the woman's cold, prodding fingers, and kept talking, spilling all the information on her lack of cycle, on how she'd been sexually active and no, hadn't used protection!

The woman covered her again before she stepped back, and Edea stayed where she was, hands nervously resting over her torso. "I'd say chances are that you're pregnant."

It sounded so final, hearing it from a doctor or from anyone else. Edea was quiet for a moment. "Can you make sure?"

"We can perform the rabbit test, if you would like. But you'll have to come back in a week to see the results."

"A week?" Edea repeated, eyebrows furrowing. They didn't really have a week! There was no way they could keep Ringabel in the dark for that long, and she was pretty certain she'd die from anxiety in the meantime. She would be lucky if Tiz didn't let the secret slip today! "What is the rabbit test anyway?"

As the doctor described it, Edea felt her stomach squirm. She couldn't allow an innocent animal to die because of her foolishness, and a quick glance at Agnès confirmed the Vestal's distaste for the test as well. No, it wasn't an option. "Is there… anything else?"

The woman paused, and Edea could tell she was trying to be patient with a young, probably scared teenager, but she was also getting irritated. "The main hospital here has some machine that they can use I've heard will show you for sure, but it's fairly expensive. If you really want to go, I can write you a recommendation."

"Price doesn't matter," Edea replied as she finally sat up. She didn't know what the woman quite meant, but they had plenty of money, having saved up hundreds of thousands of pg during journey, and she had Ringabel's wallet with his personal funds as well - he wouldn't mind contributing to this, she knew. Besides - "If we need more, we can just go fight some monsters."

Both the doctor and Agnès gave her a look, and she grinned nervously.

"You are not fighting in that condition," Agnès reminded her.

"Absolutely not," the doctor agreed. "It's reckless, and endangering yourself and your unborn child. Where's the father? Can't he help you with this?"

Edea cringed, her good mood shot. Agnès frowned sharply and came to her friend's side to help her off the table, the brunette's back stiff and straight with disapproval as she attempted to answer for Edea.

"Ringabel is - "

"He - I didn't want to tell him until I was sure," Edea cut Agnès off, feeling both shame and anger whirl within her. She fixed the doctor with an even stare. The older woman did not back down, looking way only to finish writing something down a piece of paper, which she handed to the blonde.

"Here, a recommendation for you to have use of the ultrasound machine in the hospital. I can't guarantee they'll let you use it, but this should get you started."

She took it with shaking fingers, and while she couldn't really read the doctor's handwriting, she tucked it into a pocket. "… Thank you," she said finally as they left. Even if she was now upset and angry, at least she was 99% sure. And she made a mental note not to tell Ringabel about the details of this visit.

She was only 99% sure, because her heart was still steeped heavily in denial that this was actually happening. She wanted to keep denying it, pretend she'd never gotten looked at, and never, ever accept this. But like the countless fights against her loved ones, this wasn't something she could just ignore and expect it to go away. Just as she had faced the death of Einheria, of her master, she would have to face the life she was carrying.

It was just that she knew this was terrible timing - how could she justify bringing life into the world when all worlds were threatened, and she wasn't even in her own! But hours later, just as the sun began to dip toward the horizon, Edea found herself laying out in a dark room in the hospital of Ancheim, watching some sort of screen.

Being Eternian, and a frequent visitor to the Central Healing Tower, she had seen such devices before, but never in action - she was always taken from the room whenever people were being treated. Now she watched with wide eyes as it was turned on via a large, cumbersome power source in the corner, and black and white lines appeared on it.

Agnès was beside her, holding her hand, eyes glued to the monitor. She had never seen anything like this before. It was beyond magic!

"It was a… a gift from Eternia," the technician said. "I heard the king received it in exchange for some services. It's come in handy though - I don't think it gets enough use, myself." He shrugged, and placed the oddly shaped wand over her bare stomach. She flinched - it was cold, but her hands tugged anxiously at the top that was bunched over her chest.

At the mention of the King, the girls exchanged a glance. Even though he had been less of a problem in this world than in previous ones, the King was still an enemy, and still someone who seemed willing to sacrifice his own people for Eternia's good. Edea hoped they wouldn't have to fight him after this, though. She'd have to miss out on it!

But her thoughts trailed off as a little white lump appeared on the screen, and as the technician moved around the odd wand over her belly, she could see it take a slightly different shape. A distinctly human, albeit tiny and not fully-formed, shape. It was moving ever so slightly. It was alive.

"There we go," the man said, and he used a long pointer stick to circle the little white form on the screen. "There's the head, you can see one of its hands - looks like you've definitely got a little one in there. Looks good. Healthy!"

She was not going to cry, Edea thought as her eyes swept over the monitor, burning the image into her eyes. She was not going to cry, but she could see tiny little motions of her unborn child on the monitor and it felt so - so real.

It was real, then. She was actually carrying that thing inside.

"We didn't get the machine that would let us make a copy of out," the man informed her a few minutes later. He even let her hold the wand against her stomach so that she could keep watching her child as he stepped back, close to the screen, pointing out all the little parts that were forming. She wished now that she had let Ringabel come with her, so that he could see this - he would want to, she thought. The man would definitely want to see this.

"That's okay," she replied after a moment, feeling a little numb from the shock of it all. "I don't need a picture."

Agnès squeezed her hand, and when she looked at the vestal, the girl's eyes were wide and a little bright. "I didn't know that was what babies looked like in the womb," she whispered, and Edea grinned despite herself.

"Me neither, you know! It looks like a jelly bean with hands." She giggled, and the image on the monitor wavered for a moment.

"Is it appropriate to compare your child to food?" Agnès asked, but she was smiling.

Edea would allow herself a few moments of happiness as she continued to watch the baby move, little twitches that she thought might be reactions to the pressing against her stomach. The technician finally took the wand from her, and the two girls got ready to leave. It was then, when the lights came back on and the image went away, that Edea felt herself crashing back down to reality. She was actually pregnant, and she had just seen proof of that in black and white. The little form on the monitor was a tiny human being that was still growing, and seemed so fragile and vulnerable. It was terrifying.

She already knew she couldn't fight in this condition- not only was it going to be cumbersome and dangerous, but her friends would not allow her to step foot on a battlefield. That meant they couldn't do many of the things they wanted to - the Crystal Beasts had grown in power and strength the longer their journey went on, and she never wanted to simply see her friends off to fight them alone if there was a chance they would not return.

Not fighting was not an option. Now that they had Grandship, and knew the dangers of the world several times over, awakening the Crystals took a short amount of time. There was only so long they could dawdle and procrastinate before Airy's insistence grew too much. There were only so many excuses they could tell the fairy as to why they weren't in a temple. Nine months was a long time. Edea didn't know how they could even begin to explain that.

And though she fancied herself mature and adult, she knew that she was still young. And unmarried, though Ringabel had proposed to her a couple of times when they were fighting. Children born to unmarried mothers - they encountered problems growing up. Ringabel himself was proof of that, though Edea already knew she would never abandon her own child in such a way. Still, it would face stigma and heartache, and it already made her upset to think about anyone being mean to it.

Giving birth to a baby now, as much as she had been thrilled to see it on the monitor, didn't seem like it was reasonable. It wasn't the smart thing to do. It would just interfere with Agnès' quest, and she couldn't allow herself to be selfish, not when so many people had sacrificed their lives for the ideals already. What was one more?

"… Is there a doctor I can talk to?" Edea asked the technician as he saw them out of the room and locked it behind them.

"Yeah, sure. I'll find one for you. … Why don't you sit down?" The man directed her to sit in a chair when he saw how pale she was, and Agnès knelt beside her, worried.

"Edea, is everything alright?" She could not miss the shell-shocked look on the other girl's face.

"It's fine, Agnès," Edea replied, leaning slightly into the older girl's touch. She tried to offer a smile. "I just want to ask the doctor about something. It won't take too long. You stay out here, please."

Agnès did as she was asked only once Edea insisted, and the blonde girl went into a room with one of the last remaining doctors on staff in order to ask a quick question. Agnès waited patiently in the hall for her, hands twisting in the fabric of her skirt as the time passed.

"Is everything well? Agnès asked hesitantly, once she emerged.

"Yep, everything's fine," Edea reassured her, looping an arm through the older girl's and pulling her along the white corridors of the hospital. "I'm hungry, though! Let's get something to eat before we head back. It's getting late, and the boys are probably so bored - maybe we should bring them some snacks."

Even though she now really knew the truth, and couldn't reasonably deny it any longer, it was as though a weight was off her shoulders. She'd found the truth, and she hadn't even had to beat anyone up to get to it!

But there was another weight settling over her as she walked with Agnès, her hand resting on the her stomach while she walked. The truth of what had to happen now.

She, Tiz, and Agnès convened in the inn hallway before dinner.

"You're truly with child?" Tiz asked, eyes wide. Small villages still had plenty of babies born, and he'd even held a few, but it had been a while. His eyes dipped down to her stomach.

"Mmm! We saw it with our own eyes," Edea said, grinning. "You're going to be an uncle~." She would still tease, especially when Tiz flushed lightly. "You'll babysit for us, won't you, Tiz?"

Tiz flushed even more, but he gave her a sweet smile that made her ache a little. "We'll see. I think there might be better people to babysit than a shepherd - I only know about baby sheep, not humans!"

"They're the same thing," Edea laughed, waving her hand. "But it … it won't be for a while, yet." Neither of the two brunettes said anything when her face fell.

"Are you going to tell him?" Agnès asked instead.

The blonde girl took a deep breath. "Tonight. He'll find out tonight. I promise… Tiz, do you think you can sleep with Agnès tonight? Er, in her room, I mean. I want Ringabel and I have to some privacy." She didn't know what would happen, or how he would take it, and she felt bad about kicking Tiz out of his room, but she needed time to discuss this with Ringabel, and perhaps the privacy to stay with him during the night, especially for what she was going to have to tell him.

Tiz nodded. "I don't mind. You know where to find me if something happens."

"Thanks Tiz," Edea replied, and smacked him on the shoulder. "You're a true, true friend. You too, Agnès." There was a sudden lump in her throat as she looked the two others over, and she could feel her eyes growing hot. "I don't know what I would do without either of you!"

She leaned over to hug them both, wrapping her arms tightly around them. As she expected, the two of them hugged her back, and she closed her eyes to absorb their warmth and strength, even though she knew she should be trying to get that from one other, instead.

"… Dinner should be ready," Ringabel's voice broke through her thoughts, and she jumped. The hug broke, and she turned to see the older man standing near the end of the hallway, looking awkward. He gave them a quick nod, then turned and left.

"Ringabel, wait!" Edea cried, turning to go after him. It was foolish, but she knew she should have been more aware of her surroundings! He'd already been feeling left out, and now this. She really owed him one…

But as she turned the corner, he was gone. She stood there, a sinking feeling her stomach, before the two brunettes caught up to her.

"… You should stay with him tonight," Tiz suggested, and she nodded. They were quiet as they made their way down to the pub, making idle chatter and discussing plans for tomorrow. Though she kept an eye on him, he wasn't anywhere on their walk, and his usual spot was empty. The sinking feeling turned to a storm.

That night, she and Tiz walked past each other in the hallway, a bundle of clothes that was a change for tomorrow under her arm. As she opened the door to the boys' room, she saw Ringabel hunched over his desk, journal open and quill in hand, nibbling at the end of it. A wine bottle and glass was next to him; she made a face and prayed he wasn't drunk.

Ringabel seemed to think she was Tiz, and did nothing for a few moments as he scribbled away. It was only at the prolonged awkward silence that he opened his mouth, turning toward the door.

"Tiz, I do appreciate your kindness, but could you please say something? You've been odd all day, surely I'm not - " he cut himself off, mouth snapping it shut when he saw who was really there. She closed the door behind her and locked it, and they stared at each other.

"Edea…" Ringabel said slowly, brushing the moistened tip of the quill against his cheek. "Is everything alright? This isn't like you."

She was torn between feeling offended and frowning, or trying to smile at him to reassure him that she still cared about him. She settled for pouting, putting her clothes away on the dresser and going over to the bed.

"Everything's fine - but, can we talk?"

For a moment he hesitated; either because he wanted to finish writing, or because he was upset with her and didn't want to be around her. Avoidance issues, as always. But she was again reminded that he loved her when he gave her a gentle smile and set the pen down. "Of course, my dear. I always have time for you." He'd always do what she wanted.

When he saw the weak, forced smile that she gave him in return, he frowned and came to sit beside her with hardly any of his usual flourish. She even let him take her hand in his.

"What's the matter?" His voice was low, but gentle. It reminded her of Alternis speaking to her, when they were much younger, and he hadn't yet joined the army. "Are you ill again? Have I upset you?"

Edea shook her head, not sure how to even begin to approach this subject with him. Once again, she hated the circumstance, but tried not to hate him, or herself, or the little thing growing inside of her. "You haven't upset me at all, that's not it. I - I'm not sick," she stammered, trying not to deflect the topic but knowing that he knew. "I mean, I've been _feeling_ sick but I'm not ill. I'm fine."

He placed his free hand on her forehead anyway, feeling her clammy skin. "You can lay down in my bed if you'd like. You seem tired."

"I'm fine," she repeated, trying not to snap at him, but feeling frustrated anyway. She was fine! She knew more than he did about what was ailing her. But then… he didn't know because no one had told him, and he was probably assuming the worst. She had to tell him. He had to know.

When he said nothing, she glanced up at him. His expression was one of confusion and a little hurt, because he could tell, couldn't he, that they were keeping something from him. She took a deep breath. If she could fight against Eternia for the Wind Vestal's sake… if she could fight her Master, her father, and Alternis… she could do this.

"We just need to talk. Do you remember?" she started, glancing away. "That night we shared together? When we had sex."

There was a very long pause. "I do remember," he finally replied, and when she looked up at him, his brows were furrowed as he searched her face. "But I believe we agreed not to mention it again?"

"Oh, we did." she laughed nervously, and her hand squeezed him. "Until I was ready. Until we were ready. But Ringabel, something's happened." She had to do this, do this now, because the color was beginning to drain out of his face as he began to catch on to what she was getting at. He was so smart, and had been so worried for her, she could practically see his brain piecing together everything. "I'm - well - you see - when we slept together, it kind of…"

'You're pregnant," he finished for her.

"I'm pregnant," she breathed out, feeling relief. There, it was over. Her secret was out. He knew. "Surprise."

Ringabel's eyes closed as he took a deep, shuddering breath. And then without warning, he swayed alarmingly, and Edea grasped him tightly before he could fall right off the bed. Had he really - there was no mistaking it - Ringabel had actually fainted. Beads of sweat were popping up on his forehead as she carefully nudged him to collapse onto the bed instead of the floor, and she waited impatiently for him to wake. Perhaps she should fetch Tiz or Agnès, but - no, that might complicate things. Instead she waited and watched him, wondering just how bad his headache was going to be when he regained consciousness.

It didn't take long. Ringabel stirred, his pale lashes fluttering against his cheeks, and he looked up at her with some confusion. "'dea?" he mumbled as he tried to sit up. Her hand stopped him.

"I'm right here…" She hesitated. Did he remember what she said? Would she have to tell him again?

His eyes closed again. "I thought I heard you say that you were pregnant," he laughed, a sound that sounded forced and fake to her ears, and felt unsettling. "Please tell me how much of a creep I am for the suggestion and hit me."

"I can still hit you," she told him, and gave him a light thwap on the shoulder - for fainting, of course. "But I am really pregnant. With your child."

There was a long, awkward, uncomfortable silence before Ringabel rolled over away from her, onto his face, his hands sliding into his hair. Whatever he choked out was muffled by the bed as he pressed his face into it, but he sounded distressed, almost angry.

"I can't hear you," she told him, tugging at one of his arms.

He very helpfully turned his face to the side, and she could see tears beginning to roll down his cheeks. "The Lord Marshal is going to kill me. _I'm_ going to kill me."

Edea personally thought he was being very dramatic (though he had a point, her father would not be pleased), and felt her heart squeeze at his words. She ached to hit him again, but restrained herself. "Don't you _ever_ say something like that."

"Forgive me," he apologized automatically. "I - Edea, are you certain. That you're…"

"I am pregnant," she informed him, feeling a little more sure of it all now that it was out in the air. She reached for one of his hands and pulled it over to rest against her stomach. She wasn't really showing - as far as she knew - but there was still the symbolism of it. He yanked his hand away almost immediately as though he had been burned, tucking it under his form. She counted to five before rolling over onto him, grasping his hair in her hands as she settled.

As she suspected, he squirmed uselessly under her, but didn't have the strength of heart to throw her off. He never did. Instead, she laid on top of him, tugging at his hair and completely messing up his beloved pompadour as she continued to talk.

"Agnès went with me, to see a doctor? I wanted to be sure…" She hadn't wanted to believe it was true. But it was…

He was very quiet as he listened to her talk, as she finally told him everything. Her sickness. How she'd finally realized her cycle was late, how she'd started to suspect, and how Agnès had healed her and felt the baby's tiny life-force within. The trip to Ancheim, the stupid doctor, the wonderful machine… and she was beginning to wonder if he had passed out again, or fallen asleep or. Something.

She had to make sure he was awake and with her for this next part.

"Edea, wait. Wait. And get off of me," Ringabel said, and he squirmed a little under her. Edea rolled off and onto her back beside him, watching him.

He was still for a moment before he sat up on his heels, looking down at her. She returned his gaze, a little apprehensive and not sure what he was going to do next. She much preferred it when he was predictable. Weird, but predictable.

Ringabel watched her for a few moments, an unreadable expression on his face. She finally opened her mouth to keep going, to tell him her plans, when he reached over and tugged her nightshirt over her tummy, baring it.

Her instinctive reaction would be to sock him, but she controlled herself, instead letting her hands sit awkwardly on either side of her hips, fingers tugging at the waistline of her pants.

Ringabel's face was even, but suspiciously splotchy as he very tentatively traced a circle over her lower belly, as though it were possible to break her or the fetus within. She watched him for a few moments as he did this again and again, following the natural curve of her stomach and perhaps the not so natural curve that she still wasn't sure was really there.

Finally he spoke. "You can't be pregnant," he whispered, but the caress of his fingers gave away his emotions. He was already in awe, had already accepted it, and she searched his face for any betrayal toward how he was feeling as he continued to touch her stomach, the tentative touch of two fingers slowly giving way to more sure movements until his entire palm, warm but trembling, covered her. Edea placed her hand over his, and he looked up at her, their eyes meeting.

She had to look away after just a few moments, embarrassed. There was so much raw emotion in his eyes that was almost painful. She couldn't do this to him, she had to tell him before it was too late that -

Her actions seemed to spur his brain into working again. "You can't be pregnant," he repeated, before she could get a word out. "It - it's dangerous. You can't fight like this… I can't let you fight like this. What are we going to do? In the middle of our journey, in another world - how could either of us possibly care for a baby? We could be killed any time… you could be hurt. And I - I have no idea how to be a father, Edea. My own parents - I don't know how. I can't be a father. You can't be pregnant." He was beginning to ramble, but every single one of his words was true.

She couldn't be pregnant. She just couldn't be. She couldn't sacrifice Agnès' hard work, and the deaths of so many, because of one foolish night.

Edea closed her eyes for a moment, steeling herself as she took a deep breath. When she opened her eyes, she looked up at the man who was half-hovering over her, his face concerned, and found she could not meet his gaze.

As she opened her mouth to speak, he cut her off. "Wait, Edea. How long have you suspected?"

The question derailed her thoughts entirely. "Oh, ahaha…" she laughed nervously, already knowing where this was heading. "A week. Maybe two."

He stared at her. "Despite knowing the risks, you deemed it acceptable to fight in your condition?" His frown was deep and disapproving, and she knew he was remembering back to their argument in the temple. "I knew there was a reason you were so insistent that I not heal you that day. You were hiding this."

"I wasn't sure," Edea clarified, but felt the sting of his words. He was right, after all. "I wasn't sure, but everything is fine! Agnès healed me, and I told you - that's how I finally figured out that I was really going to have a baby."

He puffed out his cheeks, before sliding off the bed and crossing the room to where they kept the asterisks. A few seconds later, a bright light surrounded him and he returned, sitting heavily beside her on the bed and moving to kneel over her. Edea sat up, pushing him back until he was on his rear and she could sit on his legs, moving almost without thinking. It was a bad idea to let him do this, but he wanted to, and Agnès had already done so, after all. Tiz had told her that Ringabel was feeling excluded, and didn't she owe this to him, to make up for all the secrets?

"E-edea?" he asked, his face suddenly flushing hotly as she sat on his lap.

"If you're going to heal me, you should have both hands free," Edea explained, and she wriggled out of her top so that the fabric wouldn't keep sliding down thanks to gravity's influence. Ringabel whined as she did so, his hands flexing impulsively. "You've seen these before," she warned him as she slid her hands onto his shoulders. "Just look at my stomach. Focus there."

"Right," he breathed, but she knew he was _staring_ at her breasts anyway, because he was a man and they had gotten a little fuller since he'd last had a chance to look at them, not to mention all the other changes. But to his credit, his hands rested right against her belly, almost sliding around to waist, and both of them let out a soft sigh as his hands began to glow with healing magic. She knew, _knew_ that she shouldn't be letting him do this, but he was so excited, he was so eager to see it for himself that she was allowing him to pull her along.

As previously, her fatigue and soreness were evaporating with the magic's influence and she stretched a little in relief. Ringabel's breathing was even and quiet as he concentrated; he was better than she at white magic, but not as talented as Agnès, and she covered his hands with hers as she watched him, wondering when he'd be able to feel it. Her stomach was churning with doubt as she watched him, hoping that he wouldn't get too attached.

After another moment, a silly smile crossed his face and her heart twisted. "I feel it," he said, his eyes still closed. "It's right there…" His hands moved a little lower. "Right here."

A lump was forming in her throat as she watched him, and she lifted one hand to touch his hair. "You're - We're…" She couldn't say it.

She wouldn't have been able to, because Ringabel chose that moment to lean in and kiss her, and the glow faded from his hands. Discomfort and reality both came back.

"It's healthy," he sighed in relief, shoulders relaxing.

"I know," she replied, and opened her mouth again. "But Ringabel, I have to - " She cut off when he leaned against her.

"I'm sorry," he whispered after a moment, and his arms wrapped tighter around her. "I'm so sorry, Edea. I should have been more careful that night - and in the fight, I should have known! I shouldn't have let you fight - "

"I'd like to see you try and stop me," Edea interrupted, smiling wryly as she stroked her fingers through his hair. Without the glow of white magic, her body felt heavy. A little itchy. So uncomfortable.

He looked up at her, face serious. "I swear I will make this up to you. We'll marry as soon as possible, and I will protect you! I cannot allow you to go onto the battlefield anymore, not until the child's born."

"Ringabel, wait, wait - "

He kissed her again, then pressed their foreheads together. "I don't know how to be a father, but I'll learn for you both… I'm so sorry. I should have known sooner…"

"It's not… it's okay," she murmured in reply. She usually had no problem shutting Ringabel down when he was getting out of hand, but this was another matter entirely. This was his flesh-and-blood. His child. Surely she could allow him some days to be happy with the idea of parenthood?

Or, better to cut it off before he got used to it, because it would just hurt him more if he found out she was keeping things from him again. It would kill him if he fell in love with the child, only for it to be taken away.

"I can't be pregnant right now," she told him, her fingers continuing to run through his blond locks. His head had dropped to nuzzle and kiss against her chin, and she could feel her body pulse in response to his actions and warmth, his love. Love she did not deserve, and perhaps love he wouldn't give her after this. "You said it yourself - the timing is terrible, it's too dangerous, I can't fight - I can't _not fight_. Ringabel, you know we can't keep it. We have to get rid of it."


	6. I Want to Fly Away

The second the words were out of her mouth, she flinched. She hadn't meant to say it quite like that! There wasn't any '_getting rid'_ of anything.

Ringabel recoiled instantly, pulling away from her as much as he could considering she was still sitting on him, his eyes wide, face pale. She took the opportunity to move off of his lap and give him space, scooting back until she hit the pillows at the head of the bed. Since Ringabel kept his bed unmade, she dragged one of his sheets over to cover her bare breasts, but he didn't seem to notice or care.

"What?" he asked as soon as he could, voice wavering. His eyes met hers only briefly before she looked away.

"I - I didn't mean to say that," Edea replied, shaking her head. "I just meant that we can't keep it, I can't carry to term! There's no way for me to have a baby right now. Do you know what may happen?"

Ringabel went quiet, thinking, and she could see the dawning realization in his eyes. He was coming to the same conclusion that she had; there was no way they could put off awakening the crystals for nine months. No way that Edea could not fight beside them. No way she could be so vulnerable and fragile when their enemy was so near.

The realization turned to horror, turned to sadness.

He took a deep breath before replying. "I… Edea…"

"I can't, Ringabel," she repeated, a little more firmly, trying to convince the both of them, and he sighed, curling in on himself.

"I - I understand." He went quiet at that, his fingers flexing, and the two of them shared silence for a long time as she rubbed at her belly absently and he rubbed a circle into his palm, his head lowered. She listened to him breath, sometimes taking in a deep breath or sniffing sharply. She watched him think, running over everything in his head, clenching his fist, glancing between her and his hand.

She had no idea what to say or do now. He said he understood, but that didn't mean he had to accept it. Or that he had to like it.

"I understand," he finally repeated, and when he looked up at her, his eyes were bright and beaten. "Do you already know how?"

Everything felt completely unreal. Just a few moments ago, she'd been a little overwhelmed, but happy to see him so overjoyed. And now she just felt numb inside. It was the same feeling - or lack thereof - when she had first faced Master Kamiizumi, prepared herself for the inevitable of hurting and losing someone dear to her.

"I don't," she answered. "I asked in Ancheim but the doctor wouldn't tell me unless my husband was with me." And the doctor had said that she was too young anyway, that she seemed healthy enough, and that she had to have a good reason.

Ringabel paused. "I see." His voice had the oddest inflection to it, and silence reigned between them again until he moved over to sit beside her. His arm wrapped around her shoulder, and she stared up at him in surprise.

"I could pretend to be your husband," he said, and though his eyes were sad, he gave her a cheeky grin. "Though the offer to be wed is always on the table, should you wish to make that pretense true."

She laughed, just a little, pushing at him lightly with a hand. "You don't want to marry me." He shouldn't want to marry a woman who wouldn't - couldn't - bear his child.

The grin faded, and he leaned over to kiss her forehead before leaning his head against hers and pulling her tighter. She allowed him, feeling the way he tensed and shook as he tried to control himself. "Edea, my dear," he murmured, his tone low and a little gruff. "I have wanted to marry you since the day we met. That hasn't changed. My feelings for you will remain the same, no matter your choice. I do love you."

A love that she didn't deserve, and had always taken for granted, even spurned. Edea leaned against him, quiet. "I have to do this," she repeated into his shoulder.

"I know. I understand. And I support your decision fully," he told her, and she could practically _hear_ him forcing a smile on his face. "I will stay at your side, regardless."

"Can I stay here tonight?" she asked after another moment. She couldn't leave him. Didn't want to.

"… If you would like," he agreed, somewhat hesitantly.

"I would like to," she affirmed. She wanted to be in the arms of someone who cared for her, and wanted him to be able to spend more time with his unborn child before it was gone. Perhaps that was cruel of her, and she wondered for a moment if she should never have told him, but reminded herself that he would have been crushed to never know of the life she'd carried, however briefly.

Ringabel's face was a little shiny as he leaned back to kiss her forehead again, and she kissed his chin in return. "Then stay. We'll do whatever you want."

Would he sleep tonight? She hoped so. She was exhausted, mentally and emotionally drained. And though she now knew of the reason behind her fatigue and illness, it didn't change that she was physically exhausted as well. With a soft sigh she leaned back away from him, lounging on his collection of pillows. "I just want to stay here."

This was hardly the most romantic of situations, but they tried to make themselves comfortable on the bed, Ringabel stretching out beside her and stroking her hip with his hand. As Edea rolled over so that she could press against him, she was made aware once again that her top was off, and Ringabel was dressed only in light, thin clothing for sleep. Still it was warm, and she was could feel him swallow as her bare breasts pressed against his chest.

They lay there in silence for some time, Ringabel's fingers flexing carefully at her hip. Edea tucked her head under his chin, listening to him breathe and feeling him shift against her. Soon enough, her eyes closed and she tried to rest, but pained thoughts and hurt emotions were storming through her. Guilt was building up, horror that she was taking his family from him when he had nothing else. He was taking it so well, but she knew that was because of his habit of shoving his emotions deep inside and bottling them up. He had to be hurting so much… she sniffled slightly as she pressed a hand to his chest.

"Shhh," Ringabel said, surprising her. She'd thought he was asleep, with how still and quiet he'd been. His arms wrapped tightly around her and they rolled so that he was mostly on top, Edea cushioned by the blanket. When he pulled back to look at and stroke her face, she could see his eyes. Sad, broken, and pained - but concerned. "It's alright,.. it's alright, Edea. You need to do what you have to. We can't - you're right."

Being right wasn't supposed to feel like this, she thought as she wrapped her arms around his waist and tilted up to kiss the underside of his jaw. Ringabel settled almost on top of her, before he hesitated at the last moment and moved to the side, as though wanting to be careful of the baby she carried.

Being right wasn't supposed to hurt like this. It wasn't supposed to make her _doubt_ and run through scenarios in which things would turn out better! In which they could both be happy and bring life into the world when everything was so unknown. A little ray of hope.

Being right wasn't supposed to make her cry, pressing her face into Ringabel's shoulder and silently weeping at a loss she hadn't even had yet. She could feel him begin to cry too, something she had experienced far too often and was far too used to, his whole body shaking as he tried to swallow his sobs. She was vaguely aware of his apologies and his vows to stay by her side, whispered right into her ear, but she barely registered them, as tired as she was.

And she must have fallen asleep at some point, because Edea woke when Ringabel pulled away from her to actually blow out the rest of the lights, the night sky beginning to turn bright with the dawn. Her head ached, and she watched the man cross the room to tidy up.

"Take off your clothes," she told him, rubbing at her face as she wiggled out of her pants. It was too warm, and she wanted to be close to him, as long as he would allow. "And come back."

Ringabel glanced back at her as he snuffed out a candle, but even in the absence of its light she could see his face flush. For a moment she wasn't sure that he would obey, or that he would want to be close with her, but then he slowly pulled off his clothing, a little sticky with sweat and her tears, and let it drop to the floor as he climbed back into the bed with her in only his underthings.

She offered him a tired smile as he curled up on his side beside her, close enough that their hair tangled together on the pillow, and the sides of their hands touched. She couldn't see his face with the shadow over it, but she hoped he smiled too.

They lay there in silence for a while. Edea was aware she needed to sleep again at some point, and get real rest, but for now she wanted to spend some time awake with him. Every second was now precious.

"I don't know… if I can get this done in Ancheim," she found herself saying as the sky grew lighter, reaching over the couple of inches for his hand so their fingers could tangle together. "They may not let me." And she'd had so much trouble just confirming she was pregnant, she didn't want to think how hard it would be to… terminate it.

"… Eternia?" His voice was thick with sleep and grief. She hadn't even been certain he was awake until he replied.

"No… no! That would mean that Father and Mother might find out. Their reputation might suffer." Central Healing Tower wasn't the only clinic, but unless she was heavily disguised, word would get out that the Templar's daughter was in Eternia for a _procedure_. She squeezed his fingers with her own at the thought.

Ringabel frowned. "I… I am sorry, Edea. I'm so sorry."

"Ringabel?"

"It's my fault, of course. The Lord Marshal and his wife wouldn't have to worry about their reputation, you wouldn't have to do this, if I had simply had better control of myself. I should damn well have known better." His voice was bitter, and she felt a pang of hurt and anger and sat up to better argue with him.

"I asked you! I wanted it, I wanted you. Ringabel, I told you I would not regret that night, and I won't." Even if a part of her did. Even if she knew that terminating her pregnancy that had been a result of it was definitely a form of regret. But she would learn from this! They could both learn!

She could feel the waves of anger radiating out from him and he sat up as well. "I'm older; I should have known this might happen. I came in you - "

"-I told you to!"

"-I shouldn't have anyway." he insisted, and he was keeping his voice low and quiet, forcing her to strain to listen. She hated it.

"Sleeping with you was my choice. You can't take it back, and I don't want it back. This wasn't your fault, no one blames you! I-I'm sorry, but I have to make this decision." She had to swallow hard, because suddenly her voice was thick. Knowing she couldn't keep their child was hard enough without this argument.

Hearing the tears in her voice was enough to calm him, or at least delay his explosion. Ringabel went very quiet, and in the next moment he had pulled her into his arms.

"Please don't cry," he begged her, whispering, shaking. "Please, please…"

It was a little too late for that, but she took in deep, shaky breaths, clutching him close as the sun continued to rise and she tried to calm herself. Crying like this wouldn't help anyone. Wouldn't help him, or the baby she wasn't going to have.

"My head hurts," she said a few moments later, leaning back to push some of her hair out of her wet face. "Can we get some more rest?"

Ringabel gently kissed her forehead. "I'm - I'm not tired," he insisted, and she wasn't sure if it was because he'd actually slept, however badly, or because he was intent on punishing himself. "But I'll stay until you fall asleep."

She didn't feel like arguing with him, not right now. With a soft noise she fell back onto the bed and pulled him with, giving him a smile when he flushed a little as they pressed together. His flush faded as she took his hand, pulled it closer over her belly. It wouldn't help, and would make saying goodbye all that harder on him, but for now he wasn't alone - if there was comfort to be found in his unborn child, she would allow him to have it.

Just as he was comforting her, stroking her hair with his free hand as he curled in close. Even though they were both nearly nude, there was nothing sexual in the way his body molded to hers as she drifted off to sleep again, exhausted and hollow and numb.

When Edea next woke, the sun was high in the sky, judging by the way the light shone in the windows, and the bed was empty.

Not just the bed, but the room was empty as well. When she rolled to her side, all she took notice of was that the bed next to her was cool… Ringabel had been gone for a while. Past that, she could see that Tiz had come and gone, his pajamas folded neatly on one of the dressers. The clothes that Ringabel had left on the floor the previous night were gone, picked up and put away somewhere.

How on earth she had slept through both of them coming and going, she had no idea. She sat up with a slight groan, rubbing at her face - and flushing when she remembered she was dressed only in her panties. Had Tiz seen that?

She had found in the course of her training and her travels that she was usually very good at making herself do things she might not otherwise want to do, like get out of bed early, or do one hundred pushups. She just needed the right motivation, like a promise of sweets to herself. But this time, there was no motivation to be found. She couldn't even draw on the reminder that she was doing the right thing. She would have to get out of bed to take care of _business_, but otherwise, the idea of facing the world today was a bleak one. With a soft noise, she forced herself to roll out of the bed and change into her day clothes. Maybe she could find Ringabel and drag him back for a nap.

Edea was already aware she was being selfish, but the events of the past week were catching up to her, and she just felt drained. It was the same feeling she'd felt the day after Kamiizumi's death. His first death. She sat down heavily on the edge of the bed as soon as her shirt was pulled over her head.

The thoughts that were swirling around in her head were interrupted by a knock on the door, and she hastily yanked the covers over her still nude legs." I-it's me," she called, flushing.

"I know," Agnès replied as she opened the door slowly and carefully. Edea relaxed immediately, not even caring the other girl caught a glimpse of the pale skin of her legs as she entered the room.

"You knew I was in here?"

"Ringabel told us," Agnès replied as she closed the door behind us. "He said that you'd need your rest, and that we shouldn't disturb you if possible. He looked upset."

Edea looked down at the bed, still holding the covers tight over her lap. "He - he is upset. It's my fault."

Agnès hesitated before she crossed the room to sit on the bed beside the other girl, close enough to be there, but also to give her space. "I was surprised. I had thought he would take the news much better."

"He did, sort of," Edea corrected her softly. "Ringabel was - he was a little concerned, of course, and so apologetic, but he was actually happy to hear about it." He had been happy, for sure, before she took that away from him. She sighed, and leaned over onto the other girl.

Agnès wrapped an arm around Edea's waist. "He did not seem happy."

Would Agnès judge her? Edea didn't know, but wasn't going to lie to her best friend. This was a decision she _needed_ to make, and one that was really between her and Ringabel only, but Agnès and Tiz should know too, shouldn't they? She couldn't keep it from them - they would find out eventually, after all.

Edea took a deep breath.

"I'm not keeping the baby. So he's upset." He had every right to be, but that didn't' make it easier to bear.

Agnès did not reply for some minutes. "I don't understand. What do you mean you're not keeping it? Where will you put it?"

She loved Agnès, she really did, but sometimes the girl's sheltered upbringing was frustrating and a little annoying. Edea huffed as she tried to determine how to explain it to her without it sounding absolutely terrible.

"There are ways to… stop a pregnancy before the baby's born. Instead of carrying it for so long. Soon, it will be as if I was never pregnant at all. I won't give birth, I'll stop being pregnant, and in a couple of weeks, we can just move on like this never happened. You know we can't just stop your journey for 9 months! It's too long a time for me to not fight."

"I still don't understand," Agnès said. "Why did you get pregnant if your child was unwanted?"

Agnès words stung, and Edea steeled herself. "I told you… Ringabel and I had sex, and this - this wasn't planned. I'm not ready for children. This is not a time to be having a baby." Not when they were fighting constantly, and when the future of the worlds was in their hands! How could she possibly be responsible for the future of another little life?

Agnès went quiet. "I see." And then, a moment later- "Would you like to have your baby?"

Edea didn't know how to answer that question. It was akin to asking her if she wanted to kill Kamiizumi and Einheria. Of course she hadn't wanted to, but she _had_ to. No way around it. "I… can't have right now," she managed to say. "Your journey-"

"Our journey can still continue, even if you are with child," Agnès pointed out.

"Absolutely not. I refuse to send you three off to fight without me, if there is a chance you won't return." That Edea was certain of. The idea of the three of them just.. leaving her on Grandship and never returning made her heart ache. She'd rather sneak off after them and give support from afar if she had to… she'd already thought about it a little. Rampart negated any physical attacks with a barrier, and kept her heavily armored to boot. She wondered how it would fit on her as her stomach grew bigger but - no, no. No. She wasn't going those thoughts anymore, because she wasn't having a baby. "A-and we can't just leave the crystals mired in darkness for this time either!"

"I wasn't suggesting that," Agnès replied. "However… your child is a gift from the Crystals. You should care for it."

Edea had been trying her best to be tolerant of Crystalism. Having seen many of its miracles first hand for herself, and direct rebuke of much of the propaganda she had been fed as a child, she thought she had done pretty well. Vestals were not witches, Crystals did have direct influence on the world, and Crystalism had some truth to it. But this…? A child that was a gift from the Crystals, to be cared for, kept, and loved?

She could only wish it.

"Please, Agnès..." Edea said quietly. "Ringabel has already said he'll support my decision. I really do have to do this." She closed her eyes, willing herself to steel her heart as though that would keep the tears from pricking at her eyelids or her breath from hitching. No one wanted to make this decision, but she had to. She had Ringabel on her side, and that was the most important opinion. But she had wanted Agnès and Tiz to be there for her too.

Agnès' arms wrapped around her, and she was pulled into the girl's embrace. Edea couldn't help it then, she began to cry, pressing her face into Agnès' chest and letting her tears flow and soak into the other's shirt.

No shame in crying if it was Agnès. The other girl had held her before like this, on the very rare moments when grief had been too much to bear, and she had returned the favor. Still, she tried to keep her sobs quiet so that neither boy would hear if they happened to be outside the door.

"It seems to me as though you're still unsure," Agnès said quietly when Edea finally pulled away, rubbing at her face. She always felt like a fool, crying.

"I have to do this," Edea repeated.

Agnès looked as though she wasn't quite convinced, but she squeezed her friend's hands. "We're to save the world, I understand that… but we have lost so many doing so. Your child should be a blessing and hope to us all. I don't mind if we need to slow down for you."

Edea patted her face dry with a corner of Ringabel's blanket. "Well,_ I_ certainly mind," she said with a soft laugh. If she wasn't useful, she needn't join them on their journey, and that was upsetting to think about. "I thank you, for your support.. Ringabel and I will take care of this. It's our fault, and we need… "

"You need to do what's best for you," Agnès interrupted her, quietly. She pulled the other girl down to give her a kiss on the cheek, and Edea giggled as she always did.

"This is best, I'm sure."

She wasn't so sure just a little later, after she quickly bathed, due to all the sweat and tears she'd shed, and dressed in fresh new clothing.

Ringabel was in the bridge, Tiz informed them when they wandered down to the pub. Edea's stomach ached due to lack of food, and while she considered going to see the older boy as soon as possible, she reminded herself that she had to eat. The baby depended on her, at least for now.

She _would_ care for it while she carried it. That at least, she would do as its mother. Make sure it was comfortable and healthy for as long as she could.

"Are you feeling better?" Tiz asked as she nibbled at sugared cookies. "Ringabel said to let you get some rest, that you weren't well."

"Ringabel of all people, shouldn't be telling others to get rest," Edea pointed out as soon as she was done swallowing. "I'm fine. Just… tired. I suppose. The conversation didn't go as well as it could have." Though she didn't know if there was any _good_ way that conversation hadn't gone. No one had died. Nothing had gotten broken. That was good, wasn't it?

"Will you tell me what happened?" Tiz and Agnès shared a glance. "He was somewhat…"

"Agnès told me already. He was upset because I told him we can't keep the baby."

The boy's eyes widened slightly, before he looked down at the cup of milk he held in his hands, and nodded. "I thought it might be something like that."

"You did?"

"After you and Airy left, Agnès, he started… well, he was a little more open," Tiz looked sheepish. "I'm surprised you didn't hear. The rest of the Drunken Pig certainly did."

Well, that explained the look and the extra helping that the Proprietress gave her! Edea scowled at a little at the man's inability to keep things to himself, before going back to her cookies. She should probably consider eating real food at some point, but cookies…

"Do you think she's doing the right thing?" Agnès asked.

To his credit, Tiz didn't stammer very much as he answered. "I… I think that's between them. It's their decision and only their decision. It does happen, though. Women make the choice to lose their children before they're born."

That was surprising… but then, Edea reminded herself that he was a shepherd. He was sensible.

"I still don't understand," Agnès said, playing with the cookie in her hand. "If the Crystals have blessed you, why would you turn that blessing away?"

It was Edea who shared a glance with Tiz this time, before the boy tried to explain. "It's … about about timing," he said gently. "Sometimes, she's newly married and too young. Sometimes a woman will become with child when she's very ill, and having the baby could kill them both. Sometimes, she's due in the dead of winter, which could also kill them both. A mother can always have another child… but if they're both gone, that leaves their family with nothing. It's hard on her husband, and any children they may have already had."

Edea didn't want to hear this! She didn't want to think about this! She didn't want to even start considering that she and Ringabel could try again for a baby much later, once everything was settled and the worlds were saved and she could be at home with her family.

"We… _I_ appreciate this blessing," Edea said haltingly, and she stared down at her plate of cookies as they blurred. "I don't intend to turn it away… and I'll cherish it while it's here. But I can't, I can't - "

"You can't what?" Airy's voice interrupted her, and she sat up straighter in her chair as her heart jumped. The tears that had been building in her eyes seemed to evaporate and she shoved another cookie in her mouth.

They were all quiet as the fairy fluttered around them, before she came to rest on Agnès' plate and helped herself to one of the smaller cookies, breaking it into fairy sized pieces.

"What is it?" Airy asked again, holding her morsel. "Are you still sick, Edea? We could get you looked at in Florem. We should head there soon."

Edea laughed. She hardly expected Tiz and Agnès to fib, so she'd have to do it. "I'm still somewhat sick. I can't deal with it much longer. Maybe Ringabel gave me a bug."

"Ringabel was acting so funny this morning," Airy replied. "It was as if - "

"Ringabel always acts funny," Edea corrected her. "Or perhaps I'm the one who got him sick? I'll go check on him." Anything to get away from Airy.

She took the plate of cookies with her as she left, and made her way to the bridge.

They were still near Ancheim, she noticed as she walked across the deck. The vast expanse of desert reflected the sun's bright rays and nearly blinded her, forcing her to take her time on the stairs. Ugh… she didn't want to be pregnant with all this heat. It seemed to add to her fatigue and settle heavily in her bones. Even if the desert was cooler at night, and winter was approaching, the thought of being with child in the area was distressing.

She had to forcibly remind herself that she wouldn't be pregnant much longer, that it wouldn't _matter_, and took a moment to compose herself before entering the bridge.

Ringabel was seated in front of one of the tables, a map and his journal in front of him. He was in the middle of writing a passage when she entered, and she waited for him to notice her, fidgeting. Would he even want to see her after last night? She didn't know.

When he finally lifted his head toward the door, there was a brief, unreadable look on his face before a smile spread across it. "Edea, I'm glad to see you awake! Feeling better?"

"I'm fine," she replied as she crossed the room to set the plate of cookies down next to him. He eyed them with some distaste before hesitantly reaching for one. She resisted the urge to smack the back of his hand and instead settled next to him. He must not have eaten at all earlier, if he was willing to snack on something that looked and tasted like pure sugar.

She leaned against him.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of your presence?" he asked her as he licked at the sugary treat in his fingers. Best to take it slow.

"I… " Ugh. She'd wanted to see him, or to let him spend more time with his family, but now that they were together, she didn't know how to put it in words. She had never been very good with them… words had always been secondary to settling things with blows. "I wanted to - to let you spend time with it," she finally settled on, and as close as they were, she couldn't miss the way he stiffened.

Ringabel was still coming to terms with all the revelations of last night. The idea that his one night with Edea had resulted in new life growing within her had been both mortifying and terrifying. He had no idea how to be a father - his only experience was Braev, and he had recently come to realize that the man he had idolized had been a rather neglectful, distant father to his daughter - not the sort of parent he wanted to be. For Edea, and for her child, he was willing to learn anything… and right as he had started to plan things in his mind, she'd let the other shoe drop.

He wasn't going to be a father after all. The child she carried would be abandoned. Perhaps not the same way he himself had been. Perhaps in a much kinder fashion, before it was ever born and had a chance to suffer this world. And though he would never, ever compare Edea to his own mother, whose face he could no longer remember, it still stung that a mother wouldn't fight to keep her baby, whatever the circumstances behind its conception.

Was it because he didn't love her enough? Or perhaps because she didn't love him. He would never know the truth behind his own birth and abandonment, and had grown out of wanting to know years ago, but for a few brief moments, he had been looking forward to loving the baby he and Edea would have. A family of his own. And now…

"Thank you," he replied after a moment, aware that his voice was deep and gruff as he tried to control himself. This was all his fault. His lack of control had led to this, and it was his fault his child wouldn't be born. No wonder his parents had tossed him aside. "Thank you, but that isn't necessary." The more time he spent with it, the more he'd fall in love, and that would make things harder on her.

She pulled away to look at his face, and he set down the half-eaten monstrosity calling itself a cookie, forcing a smile across his features.

"I'm sorry," she said, and his heart twisted. She had nothing to apologize for.

"No, no…" Ringabel murmured, and he wrapped his arms around her to pull her close. Her face pressed easily against his shoulder and he ran his hands down her back as she shook in his arms. "Please don't cry," he pleaded with her. He'd already done his fair share of pathetic weeping that morning, both while she slept and while he'd tried to talk to Tiz about what was wrong, and his eyes stlll ached. But if Edea cried, he would too, and soon enough he could feel tears sliding down his cheeks and into her hair.

Babies should be a cause for celebration, he thought wearily. Not reduce their parents to… this.

"Here," he mumbled, and gently pushed Edea out of his arms. She stared at him with wide, red eyes, but neither of them said anything as he awkwardly kneeled in front of her, until he could rest his head against her stomach. Her hand slid into his hair, fingers catching slightly on the clip he was using to hold it back, as he'd been too exhausted to worry about styling it.

Edea's body was beautiful, and he was lucky each time he was able to see it, but he wasn't familiar enough with her curves to say if she'd gained weight or not. Perhaps she had, but the scant glimpses he had seen of her in the Spellfencer costume and in the Bravo Bikini weren't good references for his memory.

Nevertheless, he nuzzled his nose against her belly, imagining what it might be like several months from now - before he harshly squashed the thought. He heard her inhale sharply, and hesitated, wondering if he had perhaps gone too far, before her hands resumed stroking the top of his head.

He knew Edea had always had some curves to her, but he could very easily attribute a bit of the, well, the pudge that he felt to their child. The thought, painful as it was, also made him smile and he kissed the curve.

He felt her laugh a little, and that was enough to spur him into continuing.

Edea didn't know long they stayed there like that, Ringabel kneeling in front of her in the bridge, but she kept her fingers moving in Ringabel's messy hair as the man continued to kiss and nuzzle at her stomach. It was… peaceful. So calming. He continuously caressed with his lips, and she could hear him talking now and then in a low tone to her stomach and the child within, though she couldn't make out the words. His hands and mouth were gentle across her, and she even helped him to tug her shirt up over her stomach to bare her skin to him, give him direct access.

It may have seemed odd to others, but she liked it. Seeing him like this. Even if they wouldn't be able to do this for very much longer, somehow it calmed some of the storm raging inside of her. Judging from the way he cooed at her, it seemed to calm some of him too.

Eventually though, his kisses slowed, then stopped, and he rested his head against her. She slid her fingers down from his hair to cradle his face.

"I've… accepted it," Ringabel said, and his voice was thick and slightly muffled by her skin. "But will you allow me to stay by your side?"

"Of course. I'd like that," she replied, and her fingers caressed his cheek as he straightened up, face dry. He leaned forward to give her a quick peck on the nose, and she smiled at him. Perhaps it was simply the eye of the storm, but peace settled over her and she leaned against his chest as his arms wrapped around.

Even if Agnès didn't understand, and Tiz wasn't getting involved, she and Ringabel had accepted it. That was all she could ask for.

She decided to spend time in the bridge with him, listening to him talk about weather patterns and sand storms, and how that might affect flying… it was actually rather boring, but they spent most of that time in the couch up near the steering wheel, Edea stretched out on his lap while his hands rubbed carefully at her stomach. She could almost believe they were an actual couple, scared but excited, anticipating the birth of their first child.

Almost... but there were times when Ringabel cut off to swallow hard, and sometimes she'd feel a rush of emotion that made her chest ache and tears prick her eyes. He'd stop whatever he was talking about - sometimes star patterns, sometimes stormy clouds - to kiss her cheek and hold her. His love was palpable in each of his motions and the quiet words he murmured into her ear, and she tried to remind herself _that_ was another reason she was doing this.

Finally, as his fingertips traced another pattern against her belly (she was trying to figure out what it was, but his handwriting was so curvy!) it…. growled at him.

They both paused, and then laughed.

"I'll assume that wasn't the baby trying to tell me something," Ringabel said, and pushed her off of his lap so they could both sit, then stand.

"I am rather hungry," Edea admitted. The cookies had long been polished off, but she wanted something of substance. Meat! Vegetables! Spice! Mm, it made her mouth water just thinking about it.

"You are eating for two," Ringabel pointed out, and dodged the finger she poked viciously into his side. "You should make sure its well fed, or it might growl at me again."

"I'm going. You'll come too, won't you?" She worried about him. He'd spent all day locking himself away from them, and she could see it in the edges of his face and in his eyes.

"Of course," he replied, and straightened up the bridge before they headed out.

Before they could leave, however, she stopped him, looking down at his chest.

"… I need to get this done soon," she said quietly, and he went very still.

"Tomorrow?"

"Perhaps." Tomorrow seemed _too_ soon, though she knew she simply needed to get it over and done with before the two of them grew too attached. "Will you go with me? You can sleep with me tonight, if you wish."

He was quiet for such a long time that she looked up at him, eyes wide with concern, to make sure he hadn't started crying again. He met her gaze easily though, and smiled at her. "I'll go with you, of course. As far as tonight…"

She reached for his hands to squeeze them. "Tiz can stay with Agnès again. Keep her safe from monsters and fairies."

Ringabel laughed. "They should be careful or we'll have two little bundles of joy on our hands."

Edea's face fell immediately. "That's not funny," she snapped at him, and turned away to leave. "Don't say things like that!"

"Forgive me," the man replied from behind her, and he silently followed her down the steps toward the pub.

Anger and irritation boiled in her as she stomped. How could he joke about something like that? It was bad enough that she was causing this halt in their journey. She hadn't wanted this to happen, and to imply that Agnès might be as much as a fool as she! That Tiz would be as irresponsible as Ringabel. Oh, he was lucky she hadn't punched him for that. (Though her lips quirked when she imagined Airy's potential response to the news.)

"Three days," she told him after dinner, as soon as her stomach was full and she was waiting for dessert. "We'll get this taken care of in three days."

That seemed like enough time for Ringabel to spend with his child, and then say goodbye… it wouldn't be so bad, would it? And it would give her time to truly accept everything that had happened, and the truth behind what she was going to do.

"… very well," Ringabel replied, his hand wrapped tightly around a mug of beer that Datz had just handed him. She hoped he wouldn't get drunk tonight, especially since she was going to stay with him. Tiz had already implied he'd be staying with Agnès again, before she'd even asked. He was a good friend.

With Airy in the room, she had to be very careful about how close she might sit next to Ringabel as her hand found his under the table. Their fingers intertwined easily and they stayed in quiet companionship for a while longer.


	7. We Who Are Very Young

This chapter is NSFW and contains sex.

* * *

><p>Edea woke in the middle of the night with one of those painful, unpleasant urges to use the bathroom, courtesy of her little "passenger" and nearly rolled over into Ringabel. The man snorted and buried his face back into his pillow, yanking his covers over his messy hair.<p>

She started, before relaxing and remembering that she was supposed to be there, and so was he. She also remembered that if she left the bed, he would wake up, something she had learned over the past two nights.

Other things she had learned included that he talked in his sleep more often than not, and had a tendency to toss, especially if he was on the verge of waking. Though his nightmares had settled, and he was no longer waking up in blind panics, it was annoying! How Tiz had put up with it for so long, she had no idea.

Then again, Tiz probably hadn't slept in the same bed as the other boy, she reminded herself. She groaned quietly, watching him frown in his sleep and chew on his bottom lip. He seemed to be deeply asleep, but she knew that if she left, he would know… and she didn't want to disturb him.

She _really had to go_, and she finally gave into that, slipping out of the bed as carefully and quietly as she could to relieve herself. When she came back, the light in the room was on and Ringabel was awake, playing lightly with the edge of the blanket.

She huffed at him as she climbed back in. "You needn't wake for me, you know."

He smiled, which was almost obscured by a yawn. "It isn't as though I intend to. It just happens."

In response, she stuck her tongue out at him, which just made him laugh and move closer, leaning his head onto her shoulder. She ran her fingers through his hair, tugging gently at a few knots that had built up while he tossed.

Like this, it was like old times. Those nights when she had stayed with him to help soothe his mind from nightmares. Or when they were all exhausted and feeling the stress of their journey, and had slept with whomever might give them comfort. Simpler times… when she wasn't pregnant, and she and Ringabel weren't planning on going into the city tomorrow to finalize things.

The thought made her shift uncomfortably. They had come to terms with it, slowly but surely, over the past few days, alternating between acting like excited expectant parents and grieving as though they'd already lost their child.

Edea had come to realize that no, she didn't want to do it. But she had to. There was no alternative… just like she hadn't wanted to kill Einheria, and Master Kamiizumi, this was something that had to be done to move on. She really didn't want to be with child, either.

And every time she asked him what _he_ wanted, Ringabel had replied with the same thing.

_"I fully support whatever decision you make,"_ he would say, and if they were in a room alone, he'd kiss her forehead._ "__I'll stay at your side, always.__"_ Each and every time. Even if he'd just been kissing at her belly, pretending that his tears weren't wetting her skin. Or even if he'd just picked her up and kissed _he__r_, laughing at how sweet she looked with child, despite the fact that she wasn't actually showing. And even when he had started to use the nickname of "passenger" to refer to the baby that woke her in the middle of the night to go pee, laughing the first time she had woken him up as she climbed out of bed.

Ringabel felt her shift, and kissed her shoulder, his hand sliding across her lower stomach. "What is it?"

"Thinking," she replied softly. They would talk for a little while, before going back to sleep until dawn. Last night they had even kissed before doing so. Though it was likely inappropriate, she liked it.

"About tomorrow?"

He could read her like an open book. It was actually somewhat disconcerting.

"… Yes."

Ringabel was quiet for a long moment before he pulled away, and she closed her eyes as he kissed her forehead. "Tomorrow will be a long day… you should get some rest."

Edea frowned sharply at him, and leaned up to return the kiss, brushing her lips against his scratchy jaw. She didn't miss the way he flushed deeply, even in the dim light. "You should rest too, Ringabel… you'll stay with me, won't you?" She worried somewhat that this might hurt him _mentally_, given how fragile his sanity was, and had been keeping a close watch on him.

"I'll gladly stay with you until the end," he promised, and he wrapped her up in his arms as he fell back onto the bed, taking her with. Edea smiled even if he was a bit of a sap, tucking her head under his chin.

It was nice and warm in bed, just the two of them cozy and cuddling. A part of her had considered doing this beyond just these days… give Tiz and Agnès their own rooms for a while, and she and Ringabel could share and have some privacy to grieve.

Airy had noticed their newfound closeness, of course. She wasn't stupid. But aside from cracks over Edea losing her mind for choosing Ringabel, she hadn't said anything, much too focused on why they were still near Ancheim when Florem was where the next Crystal was.

Edea hadn't even entertained the thought of leaving the area to get this done in Florem. They likely didn't have the means, given their Crystalist background, and for Ringabel to lose his child in that region? She wasn't so cruel. They had simply tried to tune Airy out, or make up excuses about resupplying their stock, and getting some sun.

Airy's insistence that they continue their journey was just another reminder that this was the right thing to do.

Now that she was fully awake, sleep did not come easily. She yawned and stretched and settled against him, but the reminder of what would happen tomorrow - later today - ate at her mind. Not even the usually soothing sound of Ringabel's heartbeat could calm her thoughts. He seemed to feel the same way, judging from the uneasy way he shifted against her, his grip wavering now and then.

Her eyes were closed, and she was awash with warmth and comfort when she spoke again.

"Kiss me until I fall asleep."

Ringabel chuckled; of course he was awake. "As you wish, my dear."

She wanted to feel loved, because she knew this would be the last night for it… even if he promised not to, she had no doubt that he might quietly resent her for the rest of their lives for what was going to happen. She wouldn't blame him. But still, that thought made her stomach churn, and she instead decided to focus on kissing Ringabel back as his lips pressed gently against hers.

That night had ended with their little _problem,_ but also with the consensus that kissing was fine. And it was with that in mind that she moaned softly against his mouth as he leaned eagerly into the kiss, his tongue caressing hers lovingly.

His breath was terrible and his chin was rough with stubble, but she enjoyed it, letting heat pulse in her stomach as they held each other. When she pulled back for air, he suckled gently at her lips and her tongue, eliciting a smile. As she returned the favor, tugging at his lower lip harshly, he groaned. The sound of it sent heat spiraling down between her legs, and she shifted until she could press herself against his hips. As she suspected, his arousal jutted up against her, feeling hard and hot even through the layers they wore, and she ground her own center against it for some relief until he pulled back, panting.

"E-edea," he moaned, and his face was red. Her own was warm, and she tucked back strands of her hair. She'd gone too far.

"Sorry," she breathed, casting her eyes down to his chest. He was breathing heavily.

To her surprise, his hand caught hers. "Nothing to be sorry for," he replied, his voice low. He liked this, was attracted to her like this, she realized. Even though she was pregnant… and even though she wasn't keeping his baby. That thought heated her, and while she knew it was foolish, or perhaps unacceptable, all of a sudden, she desperately needed his love.

"…. Will you make love to me?" she asked, not able to look him in the face. "Please?" It would be reassuring. It would make her feel better if she could feel his love one last time.

There was a very long, very awkward silence in the air.

"Now?" Ringabel's voice cracked. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Now? You want me to make love with you now?"

"Never mind," she muttered instead of answering. If he didn't want to, he only had to say so!

She rolled over with a huff, facing away from him and pulling the blankets back over her shoulder. She lay there for some moments while he was quiet behind her, trying not to seem too obvious if she rubbed her thighs together. What was she thinking, asking him for that?

And then she yelped in surprise as he molded himself to her from behind, his arms wrapping around her hips, hand settling against her lower belly and that firmness that wasn't entirely her natural curves.

"I want to make love with you," Ringabel breathed out against her neck, and she felt heated all over again. "I just don't wish to hurt you." And yet, she could feel his hand move from her belly to her tender breasts.

"You won't," she replied, her head feeling a little dizzy. It was like that night all over again, but somehow things felt better. "I'll be fine… I really want you right now." His erection was hard and insistent against her bottom, and she wriggled slightly against it, drawing out a groan from them both. This was probably not a good idea, but she was past caring.

"What if something happens?" he asked weakly, but she could tell he was crumpling by the way his hand dove under her nightshirt to play with her nipples, tugging and twisting at the sensitive nubs. When she cried out, he stopped and she _whined_.

"Don't stop," she breathed, rocking back against him. "Ringabel, please… tonight, I really need you. It's not like you can get me pregnant." She rolled over just enough to see his face and give him a rueful smile. Everything would change tomorrow. Tonight, couldn't she just forget?

"How are twins made?" he asked hesitantly.

She smacked his hand. "… Ringabel. Please. I want you to be with me tonight." So she would stop feeling alone.

"Forgive me," he said, with a sheepish grin and a red face, and he leaned to kiss her. "If you wish to have my love, then you'll have all of it."

That was acceptable. Of course, she was nervous… they hadn't much talked about _that night_ even despite her pregnancy, and she could feel the hesitance in his movements as they helped each other undress. She too, was reminded that they'd wanted each other that night as well.

But this was _different_. They knew what they were doing, knew well the full consequences of their actions. She was nervous, but there was comfort to be found in the way he touched her, his hand running gently over her hips and her rear as she settled onto her back at his bidding.

"You are… so beautiful," Ringabel murmured against her skin as he began to trail a path of kisses down to her chest. She swallowed hard as his mouth found one of her darkened, tender nipples and tugged it into his lips, suckling hungrly.

For now, she was going to shove it all out of her mind and focus on his love that he was giving her, she decided. Perhaps it was not appropriate, but her heart wanted it even more than her body.

Compared to their first time, it was like night and day. Where the first time had been awkward and inexperienced, here Ringabel was confident and loving, his hands caressing her between her open legs and setting her aflame. Had he been studying? she thought in a slight haze as she rocked desperately against his fingers. And then his mouth followed his hand, and oh - that was _dirty_, she crooned, tugging at his hair as though she could control the movements of his tongue against her sensitive, aching sex.

At least he was quiet with his mouth full, unlike herself, crying out loudly - yes_, yes_ - as her orgasm pulsed within her, spreading out from the inferno between her legs to her entire being, engulfing her in white-hot pleasure and love.

"So, so beautiful," Ringabel moaned as he came up to her again, kissing her with wet, slightly tangy lips. Her hand slid down between them to wrap around his length as she had that night, tugging at him gently. He was already nearly ready, but she wanted to touch him.

"That was nice," she sighed a little, feeling surprisingly satisfied. She nuzzled his throat as she worked him, reminding herself that it was just the two of them, and that he loved her. She should love him too, right now, shouldn't she?

"I owed you," he mumbled, rocking his hips into her hand. "That night, it was - "

"Shh," she interrupted, squeezing his erection until he groaned. She didn't want to think about that night. Just tonight! Just right now!

When he pressed into her a few moments later, it was unlike any feeling she'd ever had. She was still wet from her climax, and aching for him, and she let her head fall to the mattress with a loud sigh as he filled her in one motion.

"Good?" Ringabel asked, tugging at her ear with his teeth. His breath was ragged in her ear, though she barely heard him through the blood rushing in hers. His pulse was felt keenly, right in her center. She clenched around him.

"So very good. Please, Ringabel - " She didn't even have a chance to finish her sentence before she was cut off with a cry, Ringabel's hips thrusting up against hers as his movements started.

This was what their first time should have been like, she thought as she wrapped her legs around his, wound her arms around his shoulders to hold him close. He buried his face in her hair, panting out her name and little words of love, and she traced hearts across his straining back in time with the pumping of his hips.

They forgot to use a condom again, she realized as Ringabel's strokes grew unrestrained and hard, his words melting away into desperate vocalizations. He wasn't going to last much longer, and it was with that in mind that she slid one hand down her stomach to touch herself, hips twitching up into the intense contact.

"Come in me," she begged him, kissing his reddened ear. "But don't pull out, please!" If he pulled out, that would disrupt the rhythm, make it harder for her to hit climax. And though she knew she was being selfish and stupid, she really, really wanted this. Really wanted him!

Ringabel obeyed, coming with a fevered moan of her name, and he kept his hips still against hers, one of his hands drifting between them to help her reach her peak for the second time that night. This time, her muscles could be felt convulsing around him, and the man shuddered as they both came down from it.

For a few blessed moments, Edea lay there in the warm air, breathing in the smell of sex and feeling so comfortable. Ringabel was very warm and firm above and inside her, and she could feel him pressing kisses against her neck. As soon as he was soft, he slipped out and cradled her closer. She would have been content to fall asleep like this, but reality hit in the form of another urge surfacing in her. She squirmed, and remembered that she was pregnant with Ringabel's child, even if she wouldn't be for much longer.

"Ringabel," she mumbled.

"Yes, my love," he breathed, his eyes closing as he settled beside her, pulled her close. Exhaustion had settled over him, and he was tired. Edea was satisfied, he was satisfied… they could sleep.

"I have to use the bathroom."

"… oh."

The next morning, they finished cleaning up in the form of quick showers and gathering the sheets for laundry before deciding to head out.

"I don't know how long this will take," Edea confessed to Tiz and Agnès as the four of them gathered near the door that would take her and Ringabel to the ground. "I - I didn't ask. But there is a recovery period." It could be days. It could be hours.

"We'll keep Airy occupied," Tiz promised.

"If we have to explain after we return, we will," Ringabel interjected. "But not a moment sooner, and not if we don't have to."

Edea frankly agreed. The fairy didn't need to know of their transgression, but it would be hard to hide the fact that Edea and Ringabel were gone for several days, and she would likely demand some explanation. Perhaps they could just chalk it up to Ringabel being Ringabel. Perhaps not.

Agnès grasped Edea's hands.

"Please, Edea…" the older girl said. "Be well. And remember, you are not alone."

A lump formed in the blonde's throat. "I… I am not alone. I have all of you, don't I?" Ringabel's arm wrapped around her waist, and Tiz's hand fell onto her shoulder, and the four of them embraced.

Though she knew she had the support of her friends, she did feel alone as she walked through the streets of Ancheim, even with Ringabel at her side. She wondered if she should try to visit one of the clinics she had attempted to see the first time, or the hospital, or the mean doctor woman who'd first confirmed her pregnancy.

"Remember," she told Ringabel as they approached that small clinic, set aside between other shops. "You are my husband."

"I am your handsome, newlywed husband. However, we eloped, as your parents disapproved and felt you were too young to marry. On our honeymoon, we conceived our child, but you must go back to your home country to care for your ailing father, and are concerned that if you return while pregnant, it could negatively affect his health. Therefore, you have no other option but to terminate your pregnancy early, until such time your parents will accept our union."

She stopped and stared at him.

"I have it all planned out," Ringabel winked. And she rolled her eyes, almost forgetting the gravity of the situation, though she tried to keep the smile off her face as she entered the building. This was serious.

"Hello," she said, approaching the girl at the desk. Family-run, she seemed to be the daughter or niece of one of the doctors. "My name is Edea… I was here a few days ago. I'd like to see the same doctor, if I can. Please."

"Oh… you're Edea?" The girl's eyes widened, and she glanced down at the clipboard on the desk. "I… am not sure if she'll be able to fit you today, shes' rather busy."

"It's something of an emergency," Edea replied, feeling a little odd. She was certain it was someone else as receptionist the last time she was here, but the girl was acting as though she knew her. "Can you check, please?"

As soon as the girl agreed, Ringabel gently tugged her over to the waiting area and sat beside her as she settled into a chair. She wished she had brought something to occupy the time as she waited, but the watched the others in the room.

It was mostly families, it seemed, and Edea watched a few young children play around on the floor. Despite herself, and the ache in her chest, she smiled at them and curled her hand over her own stomach, trying not to think about the little life inside of her growing up to be so cute.

Now that the Wind Crystal was awakened, and the citizens were freed from the mandatory labor, their life would be good. The children would have their parents again. The city would be at peace, so long as the King behaved, and Edea was willing to pound him into submission if he didn't. She hoped the children before her would be happy.

She was so absorbed in watching the children play with wooden blocks that she didn't notice the whispering. But Ringabel, who was used to and trained in listening to people talk in low voices, did.

His fingers dug into the wood of the armrests as he listened, focusing on the words of the receptionists and one of the doctors as they spoke just around the corner.

_… name is Edea… pregnant…. with her… Wind Vestal… the King that…_

That was more than enough for him. He stood, startling the woman beside him and a child who had been reading a thin picturebook near his feet.

"Stay here," he told Edea, and made his way over to the desk, a smile on his face.

Civilian clothing was not nearly as imposing as the armor he had worn for so long, but a good deal of that had been in the way he carried himself, back stiff. His voice could be low and gruff, all business.

"Excuse me," he said, and the receptionist - a cute young lady, really - stopped the conversation she was having to see to him.

"Yes, hello. You're with… Edea?"

"My wife," he smiled, and it took all of his training to keep from blushing. "She's expecting our first, and not feeling well. Is there any paperwork that you need for us to see a doctor soon?"

The girl glanced over to the side, and though he couldn't see due to the wall, he was certain she was getting cues from someone. "The doctor she saw last time is with someone. I'll see if there's another."

"Please do," Ringabel replied, feeling annoyed. He couldn't intimidate properly in a fur collar and flared pants! "We're here for only a while longer before we have business elsewhere. We're traveling, you see."

Edea was watching now. The girl wasn't stupid, and had been trained by the best. She could see the tension in his form as he spoke in a low tone, trying to get information out. Sometimes, the best way to get information was to let a little slip.

"My father is seeing someone else right now, but he's free in about an hour," the girl insisted, going over the papers in front of her.

"Is there anywhere else we could go, by chance? I told you, very busy."

"I - I think my auntie referred her to the hospital, last time," the girl said. "For that machine there."

Ah yes, the 'ultrasound' thing that Edea had told him about. He'd seen it in use before in Eternia, once when Mahzer had wanted someone there, but Braev was in Eisenberg for business. Odd, to think it might help a couple see their unborn child.

"I know. She told me," he replied. "I wasn't aware you would have that information too, though."

She froze up and he sighed inwardly. "O-oh, I just filed the end of the paperwork."

Alternis wasn't getting anywhere. Perhaps Ringabel?

"It seems you do a lot here. I hope they treat you well."

If she seemed surprised at the change of topic and tone, she didn't show it. He stood patiently to the side as she called up a mother and her two sons, then went back to talking. Flirting. He may have been a taken man, but he could flirt! Especially if it was for this.

"My father runs the place, so I come and work when I'm not in school," she replied as soon as she was finished, looking away from him.

"Such a hard worker. That's admirable." He leaned onto the desk, propping his chin on his hand.

"Your wife looks like she's going to murder you," the girl pointed out. He didn't dare look over his shoulder at Edea.

"I'm in the best place possible if I were to be stabbed, don't you think? You'll take care of me, won't you?" He winked, and she smiled in return. "Edea and I are newly married. Did she not say that? She came with a friend last time… trying to keep it secret from me!"

"A friend?"

He exhaled and leaned in close. Very close. Edea _was_ going to murder him at this rate. "Can you keep a secret?"

"Oh, oh sure." She straightened up as he leaned in as close as he thought the very public area might allow.

"She's a good friend of ours. Very lovely lady, long brown hair, likes to wear a pendant around her neck. Your hair is just as lovely, you know."

"The Wind Vestal? I… I heard," she flushed.

"Can you tell me what else you know? You're as smart as you are beautiful," he murmured. He was half-expecting to be stabbed by both Edea and the girl's father now.

"I don't know much," she replied. "Just that she was here, and there were rumors she had run off to get pregnant. Only it was her companion instead. My father was very disappointed to hear."

"Edea _is_ married," Ringabel pointed out, a bit annoyed despite the act. "And Lady Agnès has cleansed the crystal, as she said she would. The wind returned."

"That's not what we heard," she replied, fidgeting with her stack of papers. "Just that… the girls had run off and gotten themselves in the family way without a man. Even if the wind returned, there are rumours it wasn't her, since she's pregnant."

"Agnès isn't - " he cut himself off with a sigh. "You can keep another secret, can't you?

"Yes, of course!"

"Edea's married, and with child… the Wind Crystal blessed her with child once it had been cleansed, as she was the only non-Vestal woman around. She and I had been trying, but had been unsuccessful until then. She was in so much shock that she wanted to check before ever telling me. That's why she came here."

"Really?" She leaned in closer.

"I was there," he replied. "A great light burst forth from the Crystal, bathing us in all in it. It rather hurts the eyes, you know. But I could see, with spots in my vision, as a light covered Edea and gathered in her womb, heralding our child. Perhaps the next Vestal? Certainly a child who was created partially by the Crystal. I'll happily give up paternity rights to the Crystal if I must." A grand story, if he said so himself.

The only problem was that if this rumour spread to replace the nasty ones, there was absolutely no way that Edea could have her procedure done in this city. Not if they were now led to believe the baby was special. As its father, he vastly preferred that to a belief that its mother was a sinful woman.

He told her as much as when he went back to her side and pulled her outside for "a snack".

"I can't believe you!" Edea cried, even as she stuffed her face with a spicy wrap.

"Would you prefer the rumours that you and Agnès had fallen into sin?"

"No, of course not! Agnès is a good girl," Edea groused. "Perhaps the hospital? If a small clinic won't do any good."

"I doubt it," Ringabel replied. "She mentioned her aunt had heard from an associate at the hospital that your child had horns. I told her that the horns, if they were there, was a sign that the baby would be born wise and powerful in magic, like the magicians of old."

"Horns? Horns?! It did not! I was there." She felt a little indignant on behalf of her child, and kicked at him under the table.

"Ow," he said, reaching down to rub his shin. "Don't blame me! Blame the rumours. Besides… I overheard them talking. They mentioned the King. I wouldn't be surprised if he had some sort of hand in it."

Edea went quiet. So, when she had gone around, loudly talking about possibly being pregnant, she had been heard after all. And now, they were trying to shame her for it! She wouldn't stand for this!

She finished eating quickly, then set the plate aside on top of his .

"I'm going to march into that palace, and beat that dreadful man into next Tuesday," she decided, and stood.

Ringabel hastened to stop her before she got too far, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Edea, please. Remember your condition, my love… and Agnès and Tiz aren't here to help us, after all."

She paused. "We'll go and get them, and then I'll beat him."

Ringabel sighed, his head drooping slightly. "My dear, I understand how you feel. But perhaps it's best not to start an international incident right now. Once this is taken care of, you're free to come back and I'll help you kick his rear as much as you would like."

'Once this was taken care of.' It hurt, to have her situation referred that way, even if she had started it. She lifted her hands to touch his, aware that they were in public.

"If I don't get this done here, then where?"

"Florem is not an option," Ringabel said later as the four humans sat in the pub that evening. "I can't - not in Florem, even if they offer that sort of service there."

"I believe that they do not," Agnès replied. "Crystalism preaches the sanctity of life, and Olivia had written me with stories of followers in the region dying for their unborn children." Even if women typically didn't give birth in the city itself, there were a fair amount of villages that had men and families. Olivia, a Vestaling at the time, had still helped to pray for those souls of those woman and their children. She hoped that much hadn't changed."Eternia, perhaps?"

"No," Edea pleaded, twisting her hands in her lap. "My father and Alternis might found out. Surely you don't wish to see Ringabel dead."

They all smiled a little at that, but were no closer to an answer.

"If I may intrude on the conversation," Datz interjected as he sat heavily next to Ringabel, a plate of sausage in his hand. The blond man moved over slightly. "Eisenberg should be your next stop. Hartschild, specifically."

"Eisenberg?"

The older man nodded, cutting up his sausage with the side of his fork. Edea watched him. Tender and juicy as it was, it separated easily… and she nearly missed what he said next. "We've got a good military hospital there. Remember, both men and women are drafted into the army. You know it's hard for women to fight on the front-lines if they're expecting, so 'clean up' procedures are done all the time."

Clean-up… Edea didn't like the callous sound of that.

"Will we be able to get in?" Ringabel asked.

"Could ask the Commander to put in a good word for you. You just need to get the permission to go there, not to actually get anything done." He seemed to think for a moment. "Seem to remember a lady in boot camp had to get it done right before she graduated. Could ask her if she recalls the doctor's name."

"No, that isn't necessary," Edea said, shaking her head. Having to get this done should be a private act! It wasn't something to be shared others aside from her child's father, and her family and friends. She swallowed and turned to Ringabel. "How long until we get to Hartschild?"

"If we leave tonight, it will take about a week," he replied. "Less, if I pull a couple of all-nighters."

She considered it. Another week? It seemed like a long time, but perhaps it would be good for them. It would give Ringabel even more time with his child, and give her more time to accept the inevitable. She'd had weeks to accept she would have face and likely kill Einheria if they couldn't talk it out, after all. Same for Master. It had helped… just a little.

"We should do that then." As though there was any alternative. She trailed off, then looked up at Agnès. "Oh, but Agnès! The Water Crystal."

"I'm not yet at full strength," The Vestal replied with a smile. "By the time we reach Hartschild, and you have returned from your 'errand' I should be well enough to awaken the Fire Crystal. As we discussed, I don't believe the order will affect the Holy Pillar." If it did, then perhaps that would be for the best and they could finally finishing saving the world.

"To Hartschild it is, then?" Ringabel asked, passing over the remains of his own dinner to Edea, who took it gladly.

They all agreed, and Edea stayed behind in the pub with Agnès, Tiz and Datz while Ringabel went to the bridge to begin the preparations. She hoped he would return to the inn that night, though she felt a little badly that she had kicked Tiz out of his room, and would likely continue to do so for at least another week.

"I don't mind," the boy said when she voiced this to him. The three of them sat eating dessert, layered ice cream and jelly wafers after Datz left to get seconds. "You three need the privacy."

She gave him a somewhat pained smile. "Ringabel and I may need it even after we return."

"Take your time. This is a hard decision… it's not easy to get over. You're not like sheep. Humans have feelings about their children."

Edea looked down at the table. While Agnès had made her disapproval clear, Tiz had declined to say much of anything, only that he had sometimes helped his father with sheep who had gotten pregnant too young, or too old. Of course he'd relate this to sheep. Still, she had a feeling that he didn't quite approve - how could he, when he had lost his family in such a tragic way? Here, Ringabel and Edea were being handed a child, and they could not keep it.

"Thanks," she finally said, stirring around the ice cream as it melted. "Oh, and Tiz?"

"Yes, Edea?"

"… I won't have twins if Ringabel and I - if we're intimate while I'm pregnant, right?" She just wanted to be _sure_; after all, she had been fairly sure she wouldn't get pregnant the first time.

Both brunettes choked on their ice cream, and Edea thoughtfully handed over napkins.

With that out of the way (and Tiz very politely affirming that no, she probably wouldn't have twins), she curled up in Ringabel's arms when he came to the room late that night, having moored them right outside the mountain range to the west of Ancheim.

"Edea," Ringabel murmured as he settled into the bed with her, hair damp from a shower and getting her pillow wet. She made a face at him and smoothed it back and away before allowing him to continue. "Can you explain why Tiz came to me on the bridge and forced a few condoms into my hands?"

"Mmm, well the good news is that we won't have twins," she said, flushing.

Ringabel laughed, then yawned, then leaned over to kiss her cheek. Her breath caught in her chest.

"We should try for triplets."

The next morning when she woke, Grandship already moving as it heading toward their next destination. Edea lounged in bed for a while longer, hands smoothing over her torso. Ringabel would be a wonderful partner and father, she thought with a pang of regret, rolling over to read the note he'd left her on his pillow. It was sweet and made her smile, burying her face into his pillow and inhaling his scent.

Of all the terrible decisions she had made in the past few months, comforting Ringabel that night had not been one of them. It … it hadn't been the best way to cope, and it was leading to sad, sad things, but for now they were both happy. That was good, wasn't it? To have happiness while they could. They deserved the reprieve from the madness that was their day-to-day life.

Just 6 more days of this. 6 more days of his love, of carrying his child. And then, it would all be over and they could go back to the way things were supposed to be. They would be a little wiser, and perhaps more sad, but it would be right.

Right?


	8. Traces of Dreams

"Here, Tiz," Ringabel said as he walked down the steps from the bridge, desperate to stretch his legs after 5 days of near non-stop flying. Though he distrusted the mountains that surrounded Hartschild, Zatz and Datz were both familiar enough with the terrain of the flat, barren lands of the Eisen region, and so when the smaller Shieldbearer had come up to deliver supplies and a hot drink, Ringabel had accepted his offer to also take the wheel. Now, he held out his hand to give something to the younger boy he approached.

"What's this?" Tiz asked, opening his hands obediently. Ringabel dropped something in there, light and small, and watched with a slight smile as Tiz yelped the instant he realized what it was and dropped it. "Really, Ringabel?"

That had been a little cruel of him, but - " I just wanted to assure you that and Edea and I are being safe," Ringabel insisted, bending down to pick up the torn condom wrapper. Littering was bad, after all. There wasn't a lot of good in them being 'safe', and now it was more of a personal preference on Edea's part, which Ringabel was more than happy to oblige. He waved the foil packet in his fingers before tucking it back into a pocket.

Tiz's face was turning an interesting shade of red. "I don't need to know!" the other boy said, his voice cracking, until he swallowed and moved onto more serious topics. "Are we almost there?"

"Nearly," Ringabel replied. "We should be able to get just outside of Hartschild before nightfall, and Edea and I can set out early tomorrow morning… perhaps even before Airy wakes, to be on the safe side."

The fairy had of course noticed that they were moving away from Florem and toward Eisenberg, and while she had accepted the story that they wanted to try and get the Fire Crystal out of the way, she was bound to notice the absence of Edea and Ringabel for a few days while they took care of things. She had gotten antsy enough the previous day due to Edea's behaviour, and Ringabel's greatest worry was that she would find out about Edea's condition.

His greatest worry aside from Edea herself, that was.

She'd told him in passing one night that she wanted to care for the baby while she carried it, which explained why she was careful about what she ate, and made sure she was sleeping well and not straining herself, even willingly giving up some of the more physically draining chores to Ringabel and Tiz. But the past couple of days had seen a reckless side of her come out, either because she was going mad with her inactivity or some other odd reason. He hadn't yet asked.

And yesterday, while enroute to Hartschild they remembered that Commander Goodman's permission was necessary for them to even enter the city, and so they had stopped at the bridge, intending to have a quick conversation with him.

He was as a good a man as always, and had greeted Agnès with as much kindness and enthusiasm as the worlds previous. He hadn't even batted an eyelash when she verified if they could visit the military hospital and had given his consent readily, in writing and all.

It was as they were planning to leave that there was a slight hiccup, in the form of Edea breaking from the group, her voice rising to point out that Praline a la Mode was stationed at the bridge as usual, and they should *_fight_* her. Before any of them could stop her, she'd started to make her way down to the bridge itself.

With Airy and Goodman both watching, Ringabel had been unable to pull her off the battlefield. Instead, the cold fury that had fueled Alternis during his life pulsed in his veins and fed into his power even as their friends reluctantly took places around Edea.

"Edea, this is reckless," Agnès argued as she came to stand on the woman's other side.

"We're already here," Edea replied, taking her stance with her sword. "We may as well take care of her before she causes any problems."

Edea herself had apparently prepared for the battle, and with Templar's armor fitting snugly around her, and Spiritmaster's barrier as a last resort, the battle went off relatively well. She stayed protected, hiding behind shield and armor and Ringabel's efforts to protect his family. Still, by the time Praline - and the Jackal, surprisingly - had fled, his nerves were frazzled.

Though Edea had crowed triumphantly, Ringabel had been torn between annoyance and anger and had tried to leave while the woman was being healed by Agnès, just in case. However, she caught up with him some moments later, grabbing his arm.

"Come on, Ringabel," she had said, her voice annoyed. "I'm pregnant, not made of glass!"

"You are pregnant," he'd reminded her, keeping his voice low and stopping before he was within earshot of the fairy. Agnès and Tiz walked past them. "You are pregnant, and carrying my child, and putting the both of you at risk for harm!" He simply did not know what he would do if she were to be injured or worse. He couldn't even fathom the idea; he didn't want to.

The argument that followed had been mortifying. She'd shouted and in sheer stubbornness he had gone quiet in his response, which angered her even more… and her shouts drew the attention of those nearby. While most of her words could not be made out, and while Tiz had quickly come back down to act as peacemaker and herd them back toward the ship, he knew that Airy hadn't approved.

Edea had confirmed it with him later that night, tears of anger still in her eyes as she brushed out her hair and described how she'd overheard Tiz and Agnès talking about Airy confronting the Vestal over the distraction that Edea and Ringabel were becoming.

"A distraction," Edea had said bitterly, as Ringabel gently braided her hair. Her hands were shaking in her lap, at least until he covered them with his own. "That's all this is, a distraction."

She'd turned to him, and kissed him, and it had once again led to the two of them joining together. Ringabel was well aware that they were beginning to use sex in unhealthy, even somewhat harmful ways to comfort one another, but he couldn't stop it if she needed him. And last night, she had certainly needed him, the two of them touching and talking until all of their anger melted away, and he'd even stayed with her some time in the morning as well until she was good and comfortable again. Happy, even.

The reminder of the morning's activities was enough to make him smile, and he almost missed what Tiz had to say next.

"We're going to tell her that you and Edea are shopping for supplies before we go into the Fire Temple.. it's such a long trek, and you want to see if Hartschild will offer anything for further protection. Agnès wanted to rest before the journey, and before awakening the Crystal." Luckily, Airy agreed with them all that the path to the Fire Temple was painful and tedious, and wouldn't fault them *_too_* much if they were reluctant to travel it without preparations. It wasn't even a lie - Ringabel had intentions of looking for supplies during non-visiting hours while Edea was in the hospital.

"It just happened to take some more time than we thought," Ringabel nodded. He knew there had to be some sort of recovery period for Edea's … procedure. "I'll send you an update when I can."

This was not a trip he was looking forward to in the least. But it was necessary, both for Edea's sanity and for their journey.

Ringabel still didn't want her to do this - he truly didn't - but had refused to tell her as such, giving her vague answers when she asked, or not answering her at all. The prospect of being a father was a little horrifying, but he had, sometimes when he was younger, fantasized about starting a family with Edea and truly being a part of the Lees. This was not an ideal time for them to have a baby, but the realization that he and Edea had created life together, when he considered himself only adept at taking it, had warmed him.

It was that warmth that sustained him, even when he stayed awake while Edea slept, reminding himself not to get too attached before the baby was gone. This was her decision, and he would support it.

Ringabel did want to stretch his legs before going back to the bridge, and so he and Tiz walked toward the inn together, idly chatting about the weather and the flying conditions, how Agnès and Edea were doing, how the others were keeping themselves busy on the long flight.

Very pointedly avoiding the topic of Edea's condition and the trip into Hartschild.

Soon enough, nightfall came, and Ringabel retreated back into the bridge to settle the behemoth airship right outside of the city of Hartschild, though not in the way of any supply traffic. He contemplated sleeping on the bridge that night, unsure of how Edea might be that night, before his desire to be with her trumped his desire to brood.

All the protectiveness and bitterness of Alternis Dim was coming out in him, no matter how much he might be trying to ignore it. The protectiveness was natural wasn't it? He was a man who was expecting a child, at least for the moment, and he wanted to protect his family as much as Edea wanted to nurture the baby within her. It drove him mad to see her pushing herself now, when she'd been so careful for the past few days but - he had to remind himself that she didn't want to pregnant in the first place, and that it was his fault that was all happening. The bitterness came in the form of unwanted thoughts that he'd failed his own flesh and blood, unable to prevent his child from being abandoned from his mother - before he frantically reminded himself that Edea was doing what was best for them all, and not just being a coward like his own mother had been.

Still, the emotions churning through him were absolutely exhausting, and he stretched out his arms as he made his way out of the bridge. A nice rest with Edea - hopefully sans sex - would do well to prepare him for tomorrow…

"Ahoy, Ringabel!" he heard Datz call, and he snapped his mouth shut mid-yawn, covering it with a hand.

"Good evening, Datz," Ringabel replied. "Are you planning on joining us in Hartschild tomorrow?"

"Haha, not this time. Maybe once you lot return from the Fire Crystal and want some more of Eleanor's home cooking," Datz said with a grin. Ringabel made a mental reminder to check on the lovely woman, and her just as lovely maid. "Was thinking of getting a couple of drinks down in the pub before bed, though," the Shieldbearer continued. "You want to join?"

It took Ringabel approximately half a second to consider it. He had been abstaining from excess drink ever since Edea had first told him the news, because she and the baby deserved better than an alcoholic, or even a social drinker. He would be the first to admit that he *_had_* used drink in the past to help take the edge off his problems, but it had seemed inappropriate to do so with this particular one. Now, however, with tomorrow looming and so very daunting…

"I would be delighted," he said, forcing a smile. "Shall we invite Tiz? Make it a real men's night out, so long as we have enough milk and juice for him."

That certainly made Datz laugh.

But Ringabel hadn't been joking about that part, and it was well into the night that he stayed in the pub with the rest of the men on board in the pub.

"Shouldn't you be heading to bed soon?" Datz joked, nudging Ringabel in the side as he took another swig from his mug. "Edea's sure to keep you awake all night."

"Well… I don't need much sleep to function," Ringabel replied, flushing despite himself. He tried to keep himself quiet at night, but Edea could be loud…! Had even Datz heard? Of course Datz heard, he slept in the inn as well, he berated himself mentally.

'I don't know how you can do it," Tiz cut in. Although he was keeping to juice, he was getting sleepy just due to the late hour, and he leaned slightly against Ringabel as he waited for his second wind to kick in. "You're always up way too late."

Ringabel wrapped an arm around Tiz's shoulders, shaking the younger boy lightly as he hugged him. "When you get to be my age," he started, and the two older men at the table laughed. " - When you get to my age, you're able to stay awake for days, hours at a time, even! Er, hours - then days," he corrected himself. "All part of being a man of not just the ladies - but the whole world! Someone may need me."

And a lifetime of being on edge, of light sleep and practically infusing his bones with coffee to stay awake didn't hurt either. Alternis had never slept well at night, and it was not unusual for him to forgo sleeping for a couple of days so that he could stay alert, feel safe… even as a child.

Habits that stayed with him as an adult, but the good coffee he managed to procure was wonderful at keeping him functional, if not fully awake.

He was going to need a good cup of coffee in the morning, he thought as he worked on finishing his third mug for the evening. He had no intentions of actually getting drunk, not if he was going to go to bed with Edea, but a good buzz was just what he needed to relax.

"Your kid's going to need you," Datz said. "Sprout's going to keep you up all night with its crying and wanting."

Ringabel nearly choked on his drink. Surely Datz hadn't forgotten…! 'W-well, I… that won't be much of a problem after tomorrow," he mumbled. Tiz, as close as he was, could feel him tense, and he felt the other boy's arm squeeze his waist in return.

Datz hissed slightly. "Sorry, Ringabel. I forgot. The two of you don't really act like you're going to get rid of it." Still, the older man looked absolutely embarrassed, and nearby, Zatz shook his head and moved to kick him under the table.

He hated that term. _He hated that term! _"This is simply not a … a good time," Ringabel replied, as evenly as possible, forcing himself to sound as carefree as usual. "Once everything is done, and the world - worlds are saved, Edea and I are free to have as large a family as we would like." And he wanted a large one, really… though he knew, realistically, that he and Edea were likely finished once this was over.

It wasn't something he wanted to think about, especially now when he was getting tipsy, but he still dreaded the inevitable. They were comforting each other over their impending loss, and then once it was all said and done…. would she resent him for the rest of her life for this? It was his fault, after all. He had known better - even in his tired state - and come in her despite the risks. He could never forgive himself for this, and would not fault Edea if she didn't forgive him either.

Now the table went silent, and Ringabel set his glass down so that he could run his finger along the rim. He could practically feels the waves of pity off the other men, and wondered how far the glasses might fly if he flipped the table - but no, the Proprietress might get angry if he broke any of her good mugs.

"You're not going to try and stop her?" Zatz piped up for the first time, taking a swig of his drink. "I'm not too keen on kids myself, but you two seem kind of…"

"Edea doesn't want it," Ringabel found himself saying. Tiz straightened up, off his shoulder, and he rolled it slightly as he slouched. "I'm not going to force her to keep a baby she doesn't want."

"Do you want it?" Datz asked, pausing with his mug halfway to his lips.

"It doesn't matter," Ringabel forced a laugh. He tried to change the topic. Tried. "Why not ask Tiz? I detect that he and Agnès have gotten closer these past few days~. Is that the pitterpatter of little feet I'm hearing first, or wedding bells?"

Tiz sputtered and nearly choked on his juice. "Ringabel, no!" Ringabel passed him a napkin.

It made the others laugh at least, and move on to teasing the shepherd over his romantic pursuits (or woeful lack thereof). It was always fun to see him blush and fluster over Agnès. It was sweet. Despite his own situation, Ringabel considered himself very invested in the future happiness of his friends, preferably together. From there though, they could ignore the topic of Ringabel's unborn child, and move on to talking about romance in general, some liaisons that Datz and Zatz had had while in the military, old comrades who had gotten married.

And Ringabel was working on his next mug when the topic of his child came up again.

"You want kids, Ringabel?" Datz asked him suddenly, as Zatz recounted another story involving one of their peers being caught with his wife while the family was visiting the base.

The blond paused for a moment before replying, filing the time by drinking. A lot. "I… have considered it before, yes." Was it not obvious in the way he looked at Edea? She wasn't showing, thankfully, but he was aware that his expression was either extremely tender or extremely embarrassing. Or perhaps both.

"You'd be a good father," Datz said, nodding slightly to himself. "Just make sure your son doesn't take after you."

Ringabel didn't want to hear this. Not when he wasn't going to be having a child. Not now, not ever. Not with anyone but Edea, and she would never want him after this.

He swallowed hard, and Tiz noticed the change in his posture and opened his mouth to speak up -

"You should tell her if you want the kid," Zatz offered. "Don't you think that's something she needs to know?"

"No?" Ringabel said, a bit taken aback. "I-it's her decision, and I fully support it. Please, let's not -"

"It's your child too," Datz pointed out. "Don't think we can't tell how torn up you are about this. What's going to happen to Edea if she finds out you've lied the whole time about wanting her to terminate?"

He had come here to drink, not to get lectured! Ringabel stood up, as best he could with the bench and the table, and the atmosphere around their merry group had suddenly become charged, tense.

"It's her body," Ringabel argued. "She's the one who'll have the - the burden of carrying to term. Edea can't - it's not a good time - it's her - it's her decision, and I'm standing by it and that's final!"

"Ringabel, please," Tiz started, but Ringabel cut him off, babbling now. He could see and feel the judgemental stares of his friend, and was beginning to get irritated. Of course he wanted to keep the baby! But they couldn't! He gripped his glass tightly in his hands as he held it close to his body.

"Please yourself, Tiz! You don't know what it's like - none of you do… of course I want her to keep the baby, but we just can't right now. Not with - not with _things_," he emphasized, and tightened his grip on the mug. He had confessed his fears to Tiz, but not to Datz and Zatz, and couldn't now. Not like this. "She can't have a baby, w-we can't have a baby and -"

He had been gripping the mug so hard that it cracked in his hand, and he stared down at the mess that dripped down his shirt and onto the table. A swirly mess of wasted beer tinged with red.

Everything was quiet, and the pain in his hand helped cut through the fog in his chest and head, as it always did.

Proprietress hadn't yet come to investigate the sound of one of her best mugs breaking, and Ringabel sat down slowly, setting the glass aside to investigate his hand and pick out any glass if necessary.

He was getting absolutely out of hand, he berated himself as he stared at his palm with wet, hot eyes. How could he want to have a child when he couldn't even control his own anger? When he was embarrassing himself in front of his best friends? Edea and their baby deserved better. No wonder…

He wasn't even aware that he was sobbing until Tiz reached over to take his hand to inspect it himself, and Datz reached over to move the broken glass away and onto the table nearby, to be thrown away later, while Zatz collected napkins and hurried round to Ringabel's other side.

And downstairs, Edea nearly fell - her heart jumping - as she stepped backwards off the bottom step, swallowing hard. She couldn't see him, but she couldn't escape his crying, and it made her stomach churn, even when she placed her hand over it. He was so upset, so hurt, and it was all her fault.

She hated this, she hated how horrible things had been, so serious and dark, and this wasn't the type of thing she had signed on to deal with when she had first joined Agnès, she thought. When she had first stepped away from the Duchy, she had done so knowing that what her homeland was doing was wrong. Her comrades had been exposed as the black-as-pitch evils that they were, and she was going to redeem the Duchy in the world's eyes. Right wrongs, save lives, do good.

But now she was responsible for the tears of a man who didn't deserve this anguish, and there was nothing she could say or do.

Edea swallowed and hesitantly made to walk up the stairs again, not wanting to back down and flee, but a strong, warm hand on her wrist made her stop.

She looked up at the Proprietress with blurry vision, her face heating up as she remembered the older woman was there. Obviously. The Proprietress had greeted her when she'd poked her head in for an evening snack, bored and waiting for Ringabel to get to their room, and it was she who had mentioned the men were upstairs drinking. Edea hadn't thought much of it, except when Ringabel started to yell.

Proprietress said nothing, but shook her head severely and led Edea away from the stairs and back toward the bar. A mug of chocolate was waiting for her, and she watched as the older woman filled it with steaming milk and handed it to her.

"Here," the woman said, her voice low. "Give him some privacy, but once you're both ready, I'll tell him that you're waiting for him down here."

Edea could only nod and sip at her drink, and Ringabel's cries were already fading to muted sobs. Still, she continued to feel sick and kept one hand over her belly; a comforting act. Ringabel deserved better than this, she thought miserably. Even with his memories returned, he was weird, and he was inappropriate and difficult to deal with it, but he didn't deserve to cry over her and her bad decisions.

Listening to him sniffle, and hearing the awkward murmur of the men eventually saw her sadness fade to anger. She'd caught the tail end of his words when she entered the building, and now she dwelled on them. He'd been lying to her!

Ringabel knew she hated when people lied. It didn't matter if it was about her weight, or how a pair of pants looked on her, but especially not something as important as *_the child they had conceived together_*. Despite how she'd been trying to be honest with him, he hadn't given her the same courtesy, and that both inflamed and worried her.

She gnawed at her lip angrily - switching to gnawing at freshly baked bread when the older woman handed the plate to her - as she stewed on his words.

His actions spoke louder than what he'd just shouted, didn't they? And yet, she knew Ringabel had a terrible tendency to bottle his emotions and feelings up, because he was emotionally constipated and hid his true feelings just as easily as he had himself in armor so long ago.

As she finished her cup of cocoa, Ringabel's sobs quieted completely, and she wondered if he was okay - and then Zatz came downstairs, bloody napkins in his hands.

"Proprietress, your first aid kit still under the bar?" he started, and stopped once he caught sight of the small blonde woman sitting there.

Edea glared at him, fully aware that she didn't look threatening with bread stuffed in her mouth.

"It's right here," the Proprietress answered, hauling out the emergency kit from under the bar. "I heard that glass breaking - you tell that boy that he owes me a replacement!"

"Yes ma'am," Zatz replied, taking the kit as soon as he threw out the napkins. "We'll make him pay you back."

"And," the woman continued in a lower voice as she handed a glass of water over to Zatz to take up as well. "Tell him that his girl is here to haul his drunk behind to bed."

Thankfully, there was no actual hauling to be done. once the message had been relayed. Even downstairs, Edea could hear Ringabel choke on the water, and the sound of someone pounding at his back. Both Tiz and Ringabel came down the stairs some moments later, and Edea said nothing as she looked over Ringabel's form, mess that he was. The front of his shirt was covered in beer, and smelled terrible, his hand was bandaged, and his eyes were red and puffy, his face splotchy. A mess.

Tiz offered to escort them back to the inn, since they were all heading there anyway.

"I'm not drunk," Ringabel whined, nursing his hand against his chest. Edea had not yet said anything about it, but he knew she was judging him.

Instead of hauling Ringabel, Tiz was carrying a plate of cookies and a cup of tea for Agnès. "Of course you're not drunk," the younger boy said. "You've just had too much to drink."

"No, no, no, not at all! That was nothing!" He was only a little tipsy, he was sure. The alcohol had relaxed him enough that his emotions were running haywire and he was more vulnerable than usual. But he wasn't drunk. Compared to what he'd had before, with Holly and Barras and Heinkel? It was as though he'd had only juice that evening.

Edea was strangely quiet, and Ringabel chanced a look at her, before the alcohol made him reach over with his good hand to touch hers. "Were you lonely without me? No need to worry, I'm here now."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "I was hungry," she replied. "Hungry and annoyed that someone was going to come in late and wake me up if I went to sleep!"

He pouted. "I would not. I'm very good at coming in late without waking my roommate, aren't I Tiz?"

"You've gotten better," Tiz answered honestly. "But when you're drunk? No."

Ringabel whined, stamping his foot as they stopped right in front of the door to the inn. "I am not drunk!" He hadn't wanted to get drunk, just relax. Edea didn't need a drunkard in her bed.

"You're not drunk," Edea said, rolling her eyes. "You're just covered in beer and snotty and whiny. Go take a bath and come to bed, Ringabel. It's a long day tomorrow."

Just like that, the tiny bit of amusement and relaxation that he'd had vanished, snuffed out like a flame. Ringabel faltered and clenched his hand tight, pain shooting up his arm.

Tiz cut in before he could speak. "You do need a bath, Ringabel," the younger boy gently pointed out. "Want me to get a potion and come with you?"

"I've missed our baths together," Ringabel admitted. It wasn't something they did often, but in times when they'd had to share a room and neither was feeling well, they'd hang out in the bathroom together, where Ringabel would help Tiz with the scars on his back and Tiz would return the favor.

He completely missed the glance that Edea and Tiz shared, as lost in the reminiscing as he was.

"Ohhkay," Edea decided as they entered the inn. "You boys have fun in the bath. I'll see you later, Ringabel."

Perhaps he was just a *_little_* tipsy, Ringabel thought later as he nearly stumbled getting into the bathtub. Tiz caught his arm and helped him sit, before climbing into the wonderfully hot water himself. For a few moments they sat and soaked, Ringabel flexing his newly healed fingers and palm with relish.

"Ringabel," Tiz said slowly, after he was finished scrubbing his face. It was as though he'd been steeling himself. "If you want to keep the baby, you need to tell her."

This again? Ringabel sighed and kicked his feet a little in the water. It was easier to talk about this with just Tiz, but still. "I want the baby, Tiz," he finally admitted. "I… would like to start a family with her. But you know just as well as I that we can't bring a child into the world the way that it is. We… can't lose Edea as a fighter. We can't try to nurture life when Airy is around." It made his blood run cold when he thought about the idea of Airy finding out about Edea's… condition. What lengths the fairy might go to in order to make sure that they did not disrupt her plan for the crystals.

Tiz was quiet, and Ringabel continued. Even if he had been tipsy, the seriousness of the conversation was sobering. "I would love to have a child with her, but… now is not a good time. and I don't want Edea to have a baby she doesn't want, because of me."

"That's fair enough," Tiz said, nodding. "It's got to be hard on her, being pregnant right now."

"It is," Ringabel said with a soft laugh. "She complains about it daily. About aching all over, and having to use the restroom more, how bored she is…" It was better to get it over and done with so they could all move on, and Edea would happier.

"And you're both right - Edea's needed as our heavy hitter," Tiz mused out loud. "We can't in good conscience take a pregnant woman with us against the Crystal Beasts, can we? And there is our true enemy, as well. Even though Agnès has said she doesn't - "

"Please, Tiz," Ringabel pleaded. "I know you're trying to be supportive, but I don't want to hear this. The decision is final."

"It's not what you want to hear, but what you need to hear," Tiz replied, staring at the other man. Ringabel leaned back against the wall of the tub, staring back. "Even if it's final, don't you think Edea deserves the truth? Do you want to lie to her?"

"I'm not lying," the older man insisted. Not technically, right? And Edea didn't need his stupid opinion. She was right to do this.

"She deserves the truth," Tiz said again, and he tossed the washcloth across the towel, where it fell against Ringabel's chest with a wet splat. "If you're going to have a child together, you should be honest with her. Just think about it."

That was the whole point, Ringabel thought miserably. They weren't going to have a child together. But even as he scrubbed his chest and his aching face, he kept going over Tiz's words.

By the time the two men got out of the bath, fresh and clean and just a little pruny, Ringabel felt much improved. A little more alive, a little more sober.

"Goodnight, Ringabel," Tiz said as they stopped outside the room that the two brunettes were now sharing.

"Goodnight, sweet Tiz," Ringabel replied, winking. "Thank you, for everything," he said a little more seriously before going back to his regular silliness. "Give Agnès a kiss goodnight for me, will you?"

He just barely dodged the kick to his behind, stumbling into the door to his and Edea's room before he opened it, carefully and quietly in case Edea was sleeping.

She wasn't. Of course she wasn't, he thought with a bit of dread. Edea was curled on her side, but there was a book in front of her. His journal.

He'd let them all read it multiple times, of course, before he had known that's what it was. Still, he hesitated before crossing the room and sitting on the edge of the bed, his back stiff.

"You smell much nicer," Edea commented without looking up, and she moved one of her hands over to touch his.

"I do, don't I?" he said, smiling. She didn't like it if he came to bed with wet hair, so he would wait some time, but that didn't mean he couldn't be with her. "I hope I didn't keep you waiting long."

"You're fine," Edea replied, and after another awkward moment, she closed the book and sat up. "I was just rereading your journal… that picture of me and my parents. It's nice,"

"Oh," Ringabel flushed. That picture. He'd liked it, but he'd felt so embarrassed drawing it, his little fantasies of being part of the Lees. Fantasies that had of course vanished alongside his memories, only to reappear at news of her pregnancy before dying forever.

"It looks good, Ringabel!" Edea said, smiling. "I just remember that you talked about always longing for a family in that passage, too."

So that was it. He flushed even deeper, feeling shame and guilt built up. He knew Edea had been waiting in the Drunken Pig as Tiz escorted his messy self down the stairs. Had she heard anything of their argument? "Acceptance. I always wanted acceptance, my mother abandoned me, and—"

Edea's finger pressed over his lips, and he cut off, meeting her eyes with his own. She shook her head.

"I want you to tell me the truth, Ringabel. Do you want me to have this baby?"

So she had heard. Ringabel swallowed hard, closing his eyes. "I fully support whatev-"

"That isn't what I'm asking!" the woman interrupted before he could finish the scripted sentence. His heart plummeted into his stomach.

"Edea, please," he all but pleaded, reaching up to touch her wrist. "Can we please just sleep?"

He was feeling vulnerable and raw - he should never had had any drink! - and wasn't up for this discussion. In the morning, once he'd had some rest, and time to shove his pain and feelings back deep inside, he could answer her question.

She opened her mouth as though to argue, but her eyes swept across his face and she relented, drawing back. She turned away long enough to set his journal aside on the nightstand, then tugged at him until he crawled onto the bed awkwardly, aware that his hair was dripping onto the sheets.

"We'll start out first thing," Edea said, and she leaned over to kiss his forehead. He let his eyes slip shut, and kept them closed as she settled next to him in the bed, tucking him in and generally babying him.

He was not worth her kindness or attention or to be the father of her child, he thought miserably as he wound an arm around her waist so that she could lean against him. Her tummy pressed against his, and he had to swallow hard as she kissed under his jaw.

He returned the favor, finally, kissing her forehead and murmuring out how much he loved her. Though he wasn't drunk, he was tipsy and miserable enough that any intimacy was absolutely not on the table, but they could at least find comfort in the warmth of each other's arms, couldn't they?

The good think about drinking is that it did actually help him sleep, and after some time - hours, perhaps - of shifting and tossing and listening to Edea breathe - he fell asleep himself, waking when she got out of bed.

He opened one aching eye; there was enough light outside that he could reasonably call it morning, and he watched Edea leave the room and return a few moments later.

"You always wake when I leave," she said, rolling her eyes in exasperation.

Was it because Edea was about as graceful as Barras in a china shop, or because he hated the idea of losing her and the baby? He sat up and rubbed at his face while she dug around for a change of clothes.

"I miss you so very much," he finally settled on, giving her a lopsided smile when she glanced at him. "My arms are very lonely without you in them." He wrapped said arms around himself for emphasis.

"Your arms can always embrace the pillow as usual," Edea cooed at him. "And with your right hand, you need never be lonely."

That made him wake fully. "E-edea!" he said, blushing hotly and shifting in the bed uncomfortably.

Edea laughed, then twirled her finger, and he obediently rolled over and buried his face into her pillow so that she could dress. Even if they had been intimate and he'd seen her nude several times, she didn't like to have him watch her dress! He wondered if he could perhaps get a few more moments of rest, fantasizing about the feeling of Edea in his arms, before he remembered why she was getting dressed so early.

Oh, right.

The little sleep he had gotten did wonders for his mind, and he shoved his upset down into his black, bitter heart as he waited for his turn to get dressed. When he did, it was quickly and with very little comment from Edea, as preoccupied with her hair as she was.

"You look lovely," he said with a smile, dropping a kiss on the top of her head as soon as her bow was tied.

Edea leaned back to admire her reflection. "You truly think so, don't you?" She watched in the mirror as his hand ran through her hair, then over her shoulder and down her chest, all the way down to her stomach where it settled. He pulled her a little closer.

"So very lovely," he murmured her into her hair, willing himself to be strong. This may be one of his last chances to hold her so close, but she was absolutely beautiful, and this sight was all his.

Edea's hands rested over his own, and the two were silent for a moment before she spoke up again. "Ringabel, about last night - "

Nope. Ringabel pulled away after a quick squeeze. "Hold that thought, my dear. I've got to get ready, or we won't be able to enter Hartschild until nightfall." He tugged at his hair to emphasise his point. Going to sleep with it wet always left it a tangled, kinky mess and he refused to be seen in public like that.

Edea rolled her eyes. "Hurry up so we can go, please!"

He hurried up, and in just over an hour - record time, really - the two of them were ready to disembark. Even as close to Hartschild as they were, it would take the better part of the morning to get into the city proper, and to the hospital that Goodman had given permission to.

Datz was waiting to go with them, to further boost the story of getting supplies, he explained to a surprised Ringabel.

"You're going to need help carrying the supplies, aren't you?" Datz said loudly, as Airy fluttered over Agnès' shoulder. Tiz nodded.

"Hurry up!" the cryst fairy told them. "As soon as you return, we can awaken the Fire Crystal!"

"But of course," Ringabel assured her with a flourish. "We'll return at the earliest opportunity, and then hurry to the Fire Temple."

Airy didn't need to know that earliest opportunity would be at least several days, after Edea'd had time to recover and they were all back to normal.

With the fairy watching them, Ringabel couldn't walk too close to Edea until he was certain they were out of eyesight. It was only then that he reached for his love's hand, squeezing her fingers tightly as they walked into the city together, Datz just behind.


	9. Leave the Distance Behind

"What do you mean, am I sure I'm pregnant? Of course I'm sure!" Edea tried not to raise her voice at the doctor, but that was a ridiculous question.

The doctor, a man by the name of Armstrong, flipped to another page on the clipboard of paper Edea had filled out when she'd arrived in the hospital, seemingly unfazed by the woman's outburst. But at her side, Ringabel tensed, and grabbed her arm before she could hop off the table.

"I'm certain you know if you are, or aren't," the man tried to clarify. "Women have a knack for knowing. But we need to have it on our record here. We'll have to do a test."

"You're not talking about the rabbit test, are you?" Edea asked, cringing. Agnès would never forgive her! "I've already seen proof - I had some sort of ultrasound done in Ancheim."

Dr. Armstrong looked at her as though she'd grown two heads. "Ultrasound?"

"It was this image, black and white, that showed the inside of .. .this," she tried to explain, gesturing to her stomach. She didn't really know how to explain it, but Ringabel took over, once again posing as Edea's husband and support.

"It's a… a new piece of equipment that can show the inside of the human body," he said haltingly, reminded himself at the last moment that Eisenberg was in the middle of a civil war in part because of Eternia's actions. "I believe it was something they obtained from Eternia, which of course…"

The other man's expression soured immediately. Ringabel thought he'd probably seen plenty of injuries as a result of Eternia's actions. "You're from Ancheim?"

From Eternia, but Ringabel was most certainly not about to share that with him. He slid his arm around Edea's waist. "We stopped in Ancheim so that the Wind Vestal could awaken the Wind Crystal," he said blithely. "As I'm sure you know well, a pregnant woman cannot fight when she's needed most, and well… Ancheim is woefully backwards. Eisenberg was recommended to us, as well your hospital specifically."

That seemed to mollify the doctor enough that he turned back to the paperwork. "Ancheim isn't as good as we are. But without seeing it for myself, and without a test for our records, we can't do this. It's policy."

"… how long will the test take?" Edea asked, resigning herself to it. "A week?"

"That's right, a week." The man turned back to her. "As soon as its on our records, we can take care of you. But the procedure itself - it's a potion - is dangerous enough that we can't risk giving it to a woman who we're not sure is pregnant." He proceeded to launch into an explanation of how it worked - how the strength of it was determined by how far along she was, and her weight. How it would never be fatal, but would cause her to get very sick if they gave her the wrong solution, and while she'd only feel mild discomfort if they got it right, it would take her a few days to recover - and nearly three times that if it was wrong.

That made sense. Edea sighed and leaned against the man who stood beside her. Even though they had managed to get her seen same-day without an appointment, courtesy of Datz's recommendation and pulling a favor with one of the nuses, she'd still have to wait. It was beginning to exhausting.

"Please," she decided. "The sooner we get this started…"

"It'll be finished soon," Dr. Armstrong assured her. "You've come to the right place."

By the time she was finished giving him what he would need for the test, she just wanted to burn off some of her irritation. A little sparring, perhaps. Certainly a trip to one of the restaurants, though there wasn't much they could offer in the way of sweets, given the war. She growled under her breath as she and Ringabel left the hospital.

He laughed, somewhat uneasily. "Just one more week, Edea. Then everything will be -"

"A week is forever!" she snapped. "You try being pregnant for a week." And it wasn't "just" a week. By now, more a week had passed since she'd first told Ringabel she was pregnant, and her decision was becoming harder to face the more time that passed. She knew now that Ringabel truly didn't want her to do this, though he had yet to actually tell *_her_* that, and given how he was likely attached… she just wanted to finish this. Rip off the bandage so they could begin healing.

Ringabel took a step backwards, seemingly without meaning to. "That would certainly be an interesting experience. But — soon, Edea. Please…"

She fell silent. "Let's find Datz and eat, okay?"

Ringabel wanted to get this done just as much as she did. The longer that she went carrying his baby, the more he was getting used to it. The more he was falling in love with the idea of being a father, holding out hope that Edea might change her mind. Sometimes, he even fantasized that somehow the baby might actually turn out to be a result of the Crystals' interference and be immortal, a blessed child that could be loved and accepted by all. It was ridiculous, he knew, but his heart was betraying him everytime he looked at Edea and his eyes would drift to her stomach. He didn't know if she had yet noticed, but he had felt it that morning - a tiny little firm bump that hadn't been there before.

He hadn't told her either.

Instead, he lead her to the army supply store that Datz had pointed out to him in a world past, and while he didn't have the clearance to enter, they could wait outside.

Edea nibbled on a street vendor's fried sausage while they waited. She was so, so hungry and though she'd tried to eat breakfast, nerves had prevailed over her usually robust appetite. She'd been reckless as of late, going a bit stir-crazy with the inactivity, but now she'd have to be good again, wouldn't she?

"I think we should stay in Hartschild for the week," Ringabel said aloud, tapping his leg.

She looked over at him, eyebrow raised. "For a week? What could we do?"

"There's plenty to do, I'm sure, and I've more than enough pg to support us for much longer than that. I didn't know how much this would cost, so I brought half of our group funds."

She nodded. That was… a lot of money. But she was thankful he'd thought ahead. "But why stay?"

"I'm sure we can think of a story to pass along - waiting on a special order to be completed, for instance. Or perhaps waiting for new stock. Both? In any case, the longer we can stay in Hartschild, the less that Airy will be pressuring us to go to the Fire Temple to awaken the Crystal." He'd been thinking of stories to tell for a while, really.

Edea was silent for a moment. "We could go and awaken it, then return with more than enough time before the week is up." It would be a welcome fight.

He nearly cut her off with his quick reply. "No. I don't…. I don't want you fighting like this." He reached over to pat her tummy, not caring how it looked. "And do you think Agnès would accept that?"

Luckily, Edea smiled rather than smack him. "She'd find it absolutely unacceptable, I'm sure." Her hand covered his and she finished eating with her free hand while he moved closer. No one spared them a glance as they went in and out of the building, and after some time, Datz emerged with a large box.

"You're done already?" he asked, eyes wide.

"There was a bit of a hiccup," Ringabel said, and explained the situation. The test, the waiting, the idea of staying in Hartschild.

"There's an inn near the hospital, mostly for military wives who want to visit their husbands while they've been admitted. The suites are more like apartments - I've been in them once - and they are open to civilians when there's vacancies. Just might be expensive."

Ringabel considered it. "We should… consider that, shouldn't we, Edea?"

The woman beside him nodded. It would make their stay more comfortable, and if they were trying to avoid Airy, finding an inn that she wasn't familiar with was really the first step. She hated the idea of hiding out away from the fairy, but Airy could be ruthless in her quest to awaken the crystals!

"Well, what've you got there?" Ringabel asked the older man as they headed in the right direction.

"Some supplies that the Proprietress asked for," Datz explained. "And a couple of the big blocks of cheese that they sell for Zatz. And I needed some more fabric and thread for sewing."

Ringabel declined to comment on that last bit. "Then nothing for the dungeon and volcano we'll need to cross? Perfect. Would you be willing to relay a message, Datz?"

The message that he had Datz relay, was that Ringabel was intending on commissioning some new items from one of the merchants, but it would take time. At least two weeks, and then he also wanted to splurge and buy enough sunblock to last them months, and of course the store had just sold out of their best stock. It absolutely *_had_* to be that kind. It would be better if Ringabel and Edea waited for the supplies to come and stay in the city itself, especially to communicate frequently with the merchant who was making the custom order.

"I don't understand," Edea told him as they waited in the lobby of Katz Inn, after Datz dropped them off. "How do you come up with these things? And don't you feel even the slightest bit of shame for lying?"

He grinned at her, waggling his eyebrows. "Who says I'm lying, my dear? Maybe I do have innocent and pure intentions of commissioning one of the fine weapon masters here?" He was proud of himself for thinking it, and fully intended to make good on that! A new sword for Edea would be lovely, and Agnès could perhaps benefit from a pretty staff that looked like the one they'd found broken in the Wind Temple. And for Tiz, a shield of course.

She rolled her eyes. "Very well, you have innocent and pure intentions this once. But don't think I'm not going to hold you to it."

He knew that she would.

As soon as they were checked in fully, Ringabel left Edea behind in the inn so that he could go and fetch them dinner, and a few supplies to make their stay more comfortable - Datz hadn't been lying when he said the inn was more like an apartment, and while Ringabel had never lived in one himself, he knew they'd need the bare necessities if they wanted to be comfortable.

Edea was a little bored, but she waited for him to return, wandering around the suite and feeling like an odd, awkward housewife as she took stock of the supplies in the fridge (it was empty), opened the windows to let in some air, wiped down the dustier surfaces, and made sure the bed was made and ready for them.

She sat on the edge of it and ran her fingers over the edge. There was only one bed - Ringabel had once again fibbed to the receptionist and explained that they were waiting on a custom order for their baby's crib, and would need to be in the city for at least two weeks. She'd smacked his arm for that particular lie, but the man behind the counter hadn't noticed.

She wished Ringabel would just - stop being attached. Was it too much to hope for and wish that he would wake up tomorrow morning with no feelings about her procedure at all? That he'd stop looking at her so sadly in the moments when he apparently thought she wouldn't notice? She sighed, and ran a hand over the top of her stomach, then paused.

A full minute went by before she stood up and went into the bathroom, the door bouncing back at her due to the force she put behind the movements.

She wasn't wearing her Sky Knight uniform, for obvious reasons, and the plain, cotton blouse that she'd chosen was easily pulled up over her belly. Edea stood in front of the mirror, turning around and caressing her stomach with one hand while she placed the other at her back. If she stood at a proper 90 degree angle from the mirror, and leaned back just a little - she could see the hint of a bump in her abdomen, and touching it made the firmness of her skin obvious.

Oh Crystals, she was already beginning to show.

Desperately, she tried to do the math in her head, then counted on her fingers the days and weeks that had passed since conception, but - maths had never been her strong point, and the change between worlds made it difficult to really comprehend how much time had passed. It took her longer than she would like to admit, and a few pieces of paper, to finally figure it out. When she saw the number, she cringed and got into the bed specifically to press her face into her pillow.

And an hour later, when the door to their suite opened and she could hear Ringabel entering with a few bags, she went to greet him, a frown on her face.

"I bought sugar," Ringabel told her first thing when he noticed her expression. "It was expensive, but I thought perhaps we could make brownies for you."

If he thought sweets would appease her, he was - well, he was mostly right, she thought as she went to unpack the sugar and flour. "I'd love brownies," she admitted, her mood vastly improved at the the mere thought of them.

"There's enough for several batches," Ringabel informed her, and leaned over to kiss the top of her head. "Maybe some cookies, too. Just ah, let me help you cook."

"I'm not that fragile," she snapped at him, irritated.

"I'm not referring to your condition," he replied. "Simply that you are a bit of a disaster in the kitchen, though I do think you're adorable in an apron and with flour on your nose."

She blushed now. She'd only started a fire the once!

Instead of replying, she turned to help him unpack and put away their supplies… which was mostly food. That made sense - they both had brought changes of clothes, as was usual any time they thought they'd be staying overnight someplace, but hadn't thought about meals. There were also toiletries - toothbrushes and soap, and other small domestic items that made her skin crawl when she realized it was like they living together for a little while.

Living in _sin_, she thought as she packed the small pantry full.

As they finished emptying out the bags he'd brought, Edea came across a small box that she threw at his head. It bounced off his pompadour and into the sink.

"Condoms? You really bought condoms?"

Ringabel laughed nervously as he fetched the box and tucked it into a pocket. "I wanted to be safe, rather than sorry. We will be here for some time."

Later that night she realized that he was right to be safe, because it was much more convenient to have sex with him when he was firmly wrapped up and couldn't get her dirty. She curled up in his arms and kissed his face, and she moaned her approval as he depleted the tiny box he'd purchased.

She went with him the next day to buy more.

Edea couldn't help but keep her eyes out for the latest fashions, even in a city as utilitarian as Hartschild, and stopped in front of a store catered to women's fashion. Ringabel noticed, and came back for her.

"Would you like to go inside?" he asked politely.

She eyed the red dress in the front window… it did have a very nice looking hem. "Sure," she replied.

"Let's go," he offered, and she tucked her arm into his as he walked her to the door and held it open for her.

The stock inside was woefully small, but that wasn't the fault of the merchant, she thought miserably as she browsed. The red dress in the front window luckily came in her size, but she kept looking even still, chatting with Ringabel about the fabrics used and the cut on certain dresses.

When she started noticing the practical colors making way to more feminine, bright, and rather obnoxious fabrics, she looked up and noticed she'd walked into the maternity section.

The universe seemed intent on reminding her of what she couldn't have.

Ringabel picked at a nearby shirt with some distaste. It was a bright, neon pink, as though whomever had dyed it had never seen a real flower before. "This is hideous," he commented, lip curling.

"Let's buy it," Edea said before her mind could remind her of what a terrible idea that was, and he looked over at her. "I'm pregnant, aren't I? I might as well."

Indulging herself in stupid, stupid impulses, she thought as they decided on a more muted shade of pink, closer to white. They were both quiet as they paid for her items and left.

"I should return this," she said just as soon as they left the store. "I'm so stupid."

"A-at least try it on?" Ringabel suggested. "It's a nice cut, and colour. Perhaps it will look good as a regular shirt for you."

She swallowed hard, but nodded her head, and Ringabel treated her to molasses candy before they went on to their next destination, stopping at another shop to put in a bulk order for sunlotion.

Walking around with the thick blanket of heat that covered the city due to the volcano, and with her body aching because of her baby made her very irritated, very fast, and the couple decided to have lunch in the inn, Ringabel cooking up something quickly for them. She watched him from the attached living area, once again grimacing at how domestic this all was. Just the two of them, the three of them.

"Here you are, my lady," he said, setting down her plate with a flourish. She gave him thanks in the form of a kiss on his cheek, and it lightened the mood enough that they joked and bantered over their meal over his domestic talents and his skill at being a housewife.

"I'm going to stay and take a nap," she told him as she finished up eating, having decided to get seconds. "You can go outside and be as hot as you'd like, but I'm going to stay here, where there's a little bit of cold air." She had no idea how they did it, what terrible magics they used, but both rooms in the suite had big fans that could blow cold air, and she loved it. Other countries needed to use the same technology, in her opinion. Except Eternia, of course.

Ringabel smiled at her. "That is just as well. I do have those items to commission, after all." After last night's activities, he'd gotten out of bed to sketch his ideas out, but he hadn't yet had a chance to stop by a weaponsmith and ask for them. It would be better if it was a surprise, even for Edea.

"Oh, right. Your little lie."

"I'm not lying," he said defensively, pouting. "I never lie! Well… I hardly ever lie. Only when necessary, you know. I'm a good boy."

"Except when it comes to me", she thought a little bitterly, but when his eyebrow shot up, she realized she'd actually said that aloud.

"Edea?"

She bit her lip, and stabbed at the slab of meat on her plate. "You won't tell me if you want this baby."

Ringabel exhaled; she didn't look up at him. "I've told you, my love. I fully support whatever decis-"

"That's not what I'm asking you!" she cried, looking up at him."I need to know if you want this baby!"

"What difference does it make?" he bit back, and she was somewhat alarmed by the tone in his voice, very different than it had been just a moment ago. "You've got to make this decision, Edea. And this is the right one. You cannot have a baby right now, we both know this. My opinion - my wants - do not matter."

"You want me to have this baby, don't you?" she asked him, and he went silent. She chanced to look up at him, and his face was stony as he played with the bits of food on his plate. "You'd like to have a baby. With me."

Ringabel had to swallow before he replied, and his voice was somewhat thick. "I - I've told you, Edea, I - "

"Ringabel. Yes or no. If you try to with answer anything else so help me I will cut off your hair in the middle of the night."

He lifted a hand to his head to cover his hair, but did not speak.

"Ringabel!"

"Yes," he finally said, and she breathed. That was all she'd wanted. Just a stupid yes or no answer from him. And now… things could get better, couldn't they? He continued when she said nothing. "Yes, I would like you to have that baby, give birth to my child, start a family with me… but we can't."

As his voice grew thicker, a little deeper, she reached over to touch his hand. When he looked up at her, their eyes met. "Thank you for being honest with me," she said, as gently as she could muster. That was what she had wanted most. "I… I'm sorry, Ringabel."

And now she felt a bit angry with herself for pushing him like that, because he could only nod at her words, his eyes bright.

She tried to finish eating, the two of them sitting there in silence for a while, but her appetite was gone, vanished somewhere into the ether along with the lies he'd been giving her, and she picked at the remainder of it until deciding that she wanted to take a nap. Standing up, and picking up his discarded plate as well, she said nothing to him until she got into the kitchen.

"You need to go out, don't you?" she asked as she started cleaning up. He'd cooked, she cleaned. It was just polite.

"Yes, I do," he said slowly as he joined her in the small kitchen.

She offered him something of a smile. "Go on, then. I'll wait for you."

Even though she didn't mean to play at 'House' with him - didn't really want to do it, she had grown out of playing House with Alternis at a very young age, in favor of playing knights and dragons - she had to admit there was something peaceful in the way she walked him to the door to hug his waist as he left, letting him kiss the top of her head. Something a little fun in the way she started planning their evening meal, and the way she tidied up around the suite before relaxing in bed.

At least for today, she told herself. If she had to be housewife every day she'd go absolutely mad. She missed fighting and being active, dragging Ringabel around the latest city or village they had stopped in to go shopping. Her baby was just going to make things even more difficult, especially as she gained weight.

But being alone gave her time to think, and she rolled over onto her side so that she could run her fingers over her stomach.

Last night, after eating dinner and most of the brownies Ringabel and she had made together, they'd gone to bed and made love. A lot of love, she thought with a grin, biting down on her lip and reaching for his pillow to hold. He'd wanted to give her some comfort after the day's events, and he'd been so gentle and attentive and had made her laugh, even though he'd spent more time kissing her stomach than he did kissing her.

She was grateful that he still showed his love to her, and though a part of her wondered if he still would after everything was said and done, another part knew that he probably would like to… just as much as he wanted her to keep the baby.

Things were getting complicated. Even though she'd wanted - needed - him to be honest with her, now that she had confirmation on what his true feelings were regarding the situation, she had to handle it carefully. Had to handle him carefully before she broke him again.

It just wasn't possible to have this child, she reminded herself. Not when she was needed to round out their group of fighters. Not when Airy was so suspicious and so close. Not when the future of all Luxendarcs was hanging in the balance. Not when she wouldn't be able to give birth in her own world, with her own parents for support. Not when she wasn't in love with Ringabel.

And yet, she closed her eyes and settled in for a nap, thinking of ways to make it work. Perhaps they could distract Airy while her pregnancy progressed? Make it seem like Agnès was the one preg - no that wouldn't work. Perhaps they could pretend she had come down with a deadly diseases, cooties, and would need to rest until the cooties were removed from her body. Or… she and Ringabel could become international spies, agents of mystery, travelling the world and going undercover to monitor the Duchy and take out those fighting for evil. No one would suspect a pregnant lady as she stabbed them in the back, after all. She liked that idea.

She fell asleep with a smile on her face, and woke up when her need to go the bathroom grew to great… and when she realized that despite the fans, it was far too warm in the suite, and that there was - something burning?

Edea sat up with quickly, her heart pounding, and hurried to the other room - then stopped as she realized that Ringabel had returned, he'd left the window open, and he smelled *_terrible_*.

"You went to the weaponsmith after all," she said. He smelled like he'd just walked out of an iron furnace!

He was bent over the table, working on something in his hands, and he jumped a little at the sound of her voice. "I told you that I would," he replied somewhat sheepishly, covering whatever his latest project was with a piece of polishing cloth.

She knew that her sense of smell had sharpened in the past few weeks under the influence of hormones, but it was never quite as obvious as now, standing so close to a man that smelled like brimstone and solder and sweat. Edea wrinkled her nose at him. He'd managed to keep his clothes relatively clean, but still… her stomach churned.

"Get in the bath," she threatened. "Or I am going to cast Blizzard on you."

He hastened to stand. "Now, Edea. Surely you remember the last time you cast Blizzard indoors…"

She took a step toward him and he took a step backwards, hands up in a gesture of surrender, though it didn't stop her from grabbing his collar. "And you left the windows open!"

"For some fresh air," he admitted, his hand wrapping around her wrist. "Though it is rather warm, I admit. Did I wake you?"

"Mgrgrgr," she growled. "No, *_you_* didn't. The baby did." She let go of his collar in favor of moving past him so that she could close the window. He'd probably opened it because he knew he smelled but hadn't wanted to disturb her and take a shower, now that she thought of it. It hadn't quite worked.

"The baby - it's not kicking is it?" he asked, his tone somewhat alarmed.

"What? Of course not, it's far too early for that," she replied, raising an eyebrow as she faced him. As least that's what she thought… she shouldn't be feeling any movement until she was much further along. Not that she really knew anything about pregnancy aside from what her tutors had told her and what little bits seemed to be tribal knowledge. "So go on, into the bath with you!"

Of course, she made him wait just a couple of minutes while she used the bathroom first and as he undressed, keeping the door open so they could talk.

"He let me make a few blows to a sword he was making," Ringabel explained loudly from the bedroom as he folded his clothes up carefully and set them aside. "Very interesting…. I can imagine it would take years of dedicated practice to be any good. I wasn't quite as strong or confident as he."

She listened to him continue on about the detail the smith had been going into on the design in the steel, and how he was making his own handle as well, and the leather to go around the hilt and she found herself smiling as he described how perhaps once everything was said and done, he'd go into that profession. Ringabel, weaponsmith!

"I thought you were going to be a painter," she pointed out as she opened the bathroom door more fully. "And a romance novel writer. And a lover of women worldwide?"

Ringabel stuck his tongue at her. "I can multi-task! Romance by night, hardened steel by day! Oh, I think I've got the title for my first novel now…:"

He had a burn on his arm, she noticed as he swept past her to start the shower, and she followed him into the bathroom, trying not to take notice of anything else, like his pale skin and the scars across the expanse of his well-toned back and - yep, she was not looking at his behind, she decided, glancing into the mirror instead.

"Are you supervising?" he asked over his shoulder, confused and unsure.

"I'll wash your back," she offered, but pointed the burn out to him. "Be careful with that - or would you like me to heal it?"

"I… didn't even notice," he admitted, and she rolled her eyes.

"Wait there."

She joined him in the shower as soon as she was disrobed and though the steam only made the smell of his adventure that more sharper, it eventually faded in favor of the scented soap that she helped to lather over his skin - as soon as she was done healing his arm, at least.

"Thank you," he said quietly, running his hand over the slightly pink skin.

"You needn't thank me for that," she replied, scrubbing her hands over his broad back. The grime came off easily with the help of the soap, leaving behind skin that would be clean and unblemished were it not for the scars that covered it. She traced a few them with her fingers, and he shifted uncomfortably.

"I got that one when I was… younger," he explained, as she touched a particularly nasty looking one in his shoulder. "Stabbed by another boy."

"Ouch," she said, wincing. It looked deep. How could he have survived all the pain and hatred that had been thrown at him? How did he continue to do so still?

"Well, we were fighting. Don't worry, you should have seen him," his tone was light as he spoke about it, but he reached behind and moved her hands away.

It was only when he turned to face her that she realized they were together in the bath. Alone.

It wasn't necessarily the first time they'd bathed together, due to water shortages on Grandship (though they'd at least kept their underthings on then), and it wasn't the first time they'd been nude together, obviously. But there was something different in how close they were, the tender way that his hands ran across her shoulders while hers continued to wipe away the filth on his chest, watching the water collect dirt and make its way down to his stomach, his hips and down his legs, swirling around their feet in tan colored water mixed with bubbles. She wrinkled her nose.

As her eyes made their way back up his form, they stopped at his manhood, and she bit her lip, trying not to smile.

"Really, Ringabel?" she asked, and one of her hands moved to grasp him. He squeaked.

"It just - it just does things on its own!" he protested, but he didn't stop her as she started to work him. "It's possessed, likely."

"Oh, is that what it is?" she laughed, but shifted a little bit on her feet. "A likely story."

It really should have been too early in the day - it wasn't even dark outside - to entertain the idea of sex, but as she abandoned his member in favor of helping him with his hair, and then recruiting his help in washing her own hair, her back, her stomach, the smell of ash was replaced with a clean scent that was all his - all theirs, she realized. And she liked it. She leaned back against him as his hands rubbed suds across her lower stomach. The water underneath them was nearly clear.

"I think I'm beginning to show," she confessed in a quiet tone. He paused.

"I believe, so, yes…you're beautiful."

"Getting fat," she growled. She needed to get this taken care of before it became too late!

"You're pregnant, Edea," he reminded her, and she could feel him laugh slightly. "Beautiful. Practically glowing."

"You're a bit biased, don't you think?" When he fell silent, she continued to clarify. "You always think I'm beautiful! Me, and every other girl in existence. No matter if I'm covered in blood, or dirt, or wearing green pants with a pink shirt."

He shuddered. "You'd never make such a terrible fashion choice, you and I both know that." But he kissed the top of her head. "You are beautiful, no matter the condition you're in, and I do love you," he finished, so softly that she almost didn't hear it.

"You think you'll love me forever, don't you?" she asked, and the question came out more bitter than she would have liked.

Ringabel was quiet for another moment before he pulled away, and turned her to face him. She frowned at him, the lukewarm water - they'd been in too long - hitting the back of her head and running down her face, bringing some of her hair with it. His own hair, long and limp and clinging to his face, nearly obscured his fair features. If he wanted a heart-to-heart talk, this was hardly the ideal location.

"Edea, why wouldn't I love you forever?" he asked, and the instant the words were out of his mouth, he blushed. "Have I not told you that you are the one for me, this whole time? Since the day you came into my life?"

"You loved the Angel in the book, not me," she pointed out. She'd been more than happy to destroy his ideal expectations every day, one action at a time. "And even now, I feel as though you still cling to that image when you think about the woman that you love. You may be kind to me, but I don't think you'd want to love me for the rest of your life."

Her fingers curled over her stomach. She believed that, especially considering what she was going to do.

His hand touched hers.

"True… perhaps I based my initial affection on a woman who was too good to be true," Ringabel admitted. "She was perfect. Beautiful. Kind and loving and so very brave."

"And I'm not?"

He laughed a little nervously. "You're just as beautiful and kind. Very loving, and the bravest woman I know. But I am aware of your naughty side. Your sweet tooth… your loudness. Your recklessness. The way you don't hold your punches, even when sparring with people, and the way that you have a tendency to hog blankets at night, or steal food from other's plates when you don't think they're looking. You also like to pull pranks on people and make others laugh at my expense, such as that time you put swapped out glue for my hair gel."

"Excuse you, that was funny."

"You're an excellent fighter - of course you are, you learned from the best - but your magic skills are a bit lacking. You can be compassionate, but you also have a low level of patience. You have a very dirty mouth when you get angry, and you get angry so very easily," he purred, and she had a feeling they didn't have the same definition of dirty mouth. She was going to give him a dirty mouth if he kept it up.

"So you've made your point," she said, placing her finger on his mouth when he started to lean in. "I'm not perfect, and I'm not the angel in the book."

"No, but that doesn't make you any less deserving of love, Edea." He smiled at her. "Perhaps we should get in bed and talk about this some more, if you would like…? The water is getting cold." As soon as her finger was out of the way, he kissed her forehead.

The water was getting cold, and as soon as they were absolutely sure they were rinsed off, Ringabel helped her out of the bath.

"I wish you'd stop treating me like I'm made of glass," she snapped at him.

"Isn't it natural for a man to want to protect the lady most important to him?" Ringabel smiled at her as he scrubbed at his hair, debating on whether or not to style it again or just leave it down… perhaps so long as he didn't leave the inn, it would be fine.

"You don't see Tiz doing this for Agnès." Usually.

"That's a lie and you know it," Ringabel replied. "Granted, Tiz and Agnès don't take baths together."

"Nor is she pregnant with his child," Edea said, and the two blondes went quiet. Ringabel couldn't quite look at her as she wrapped herself in a robe and left the room, leaving him behind to flirt with the mirror or whatever it was that men did after showers.

The feelings that had been building up in her stomach while they'd been bathing were all but gone, and she decided that instead of waiting for him in bed, she'd try to make dinner for them both.

Ringabel came quickly, as soon as he realized her intentions, and they made dinner together. As they sat at the table and ate in silence, she realized they still had six days ahead of them until the test would be complete. If this was how things were going on just the second day, how on earth was she going to ever survive?

Being alone in an inn suite with Ringabel was boring, but they passed the time with card games and stories, and Ringabel drawing her like one of his Florem girls as a joke. A joke he claimed he was going to have framed and mounted in his room. Just six more days of this, she reminded herself with a groan as he had her sit down for another picture.

"So," she said much later as she settled against him in the bed. There was still a candle lit on his side of the bed, and he had an open book in his hand, but she could tuck herself under his arm and get comfortable enough to sleep. "Is that what you plan to do once you retire? Become a weaponsmith?"

"And a romance novel writer by night," he reminded her.

"Of course. But.. won't you return to Eternia with me?"

HIs hand started to stroke through her hair, an act that was comforting and comfortable… she wriggled closer to him, pressing her face into his clean chest. "I… shall consider it," he replied. "If you will still have me, that is."

It wouldn't be right if Ringabel didn't go back to Eternia. Perhaps it was not the country he had been born in, but it was the country that Alternis had come to adopt. She hoped it was a country that he could be happy in, especially if she were there!

"Don't avoid me," she pleaded. "Please don't avoid me."

There was a moment's pause before he set the book down, and carefully pushed her away from his chest so that he could look into her face. "Why on earth do you think I would avoid you, Edea?"

"Because of this," she said, and gestured between them toward her stomach. He grabbed her hand.

"Edea, please… I understand why you're doing this," he told her, and he looked up into his eyes. They were sad and bright, but she could see the acceptance in them. "I hold nothing against you - it's my fault in the first place."

They'd gone through this before, and that he would bring it up again just made her angry. "I was the one who suggested we sleep together. I told you come in me!"

"And as the older one, I should have known better."

She kicked him and he yelped, curling in slightly to rub his calf. "Stop taking all of this onto yourself," she told him, feeling a bit of satisfaction in the way he grimaced. "This is not your fault."

"It's not yours either then," he gritted out. "No mistakes were made, no regrets, no one's fault. Is that not what you told me?"

She didn't think that was quite what she told him, but his words did make her recall that she'd promised him she wouldn't regret. That she'd told him that she didn't regret sleeping with him that night. A part of her still didn't. And… a part of her wished it had never happened, because now she was pregnant and days away from terminating the life within her.

"… Sleep on the couch," she told him.

"I… what?"

"Please sleep on the couch, or_ I _will," she muttered. She needed some time alone, some time to think! And didn't want to be in his arms tonight. That wasn't what she deserved.

Ringabel sat up slowly. "… I'll go," he said, and she could already see him mentally whipping himself for whatever he'd done to get her in a bad mood.

She was taking that bad mood out on him, and it wasn't fair, but she watched him gather up his pillow and an extra blanket from the closet.

"… Just for tonight," she decided to assure him, and she even got out of bed to follow him into the living room and help him make up the couch so that he could sleep on it.

"I'll be fine here," he said, tucking some of his hair behind his ear. "But will you - "

"Don't worry about me," she replied, crossing her arms. "Now get in so I can tuck you in."

He pouted, but did as she asked, and she smoothed his hair back and kissed his forehead as he settled onto the couch. As tall as he was, his feet hung over the edge, but she tucked his sides in all the same, leaving his hands free enough so that he could read the book he'd brought with him.

"Now sleep," she told him. "And tomorrow… we'll talk tomorrow, okay?"

"Yes ma'am," he replied, saluting with a hand. "Sleep well. I am only a room away should you need me in the middle of the night."

She tried not to roll her eyes - he was the one who needed people in the middle of the night, that's what had caused this whole thing - and retreated back into the bedroom, closing the door firmly behind her.

The bed was still warm, but his scent was mostly gone. Still, Edea rolled around in it for a moment, relishing the vast amount of space that was hers, all hers.

As sleepiness began to grip her mind, she settled, curling up on her side and caressing her stomach as she tried to plan out the next few days in her head. She wasn't going to stay in the inn the whole time, she knew that. Perhaps they could go shopping again, this time for armor… ooh, would he let her go to the weaponsmith and hammer at steel too?

She went to sleep remembering how as a child, she had been taken to one of Eternia's weaponsmiths and watched him make her very first sword, how she'd been fascinated by the expert way he pounded at steel, sparks flying, shaping it into something that would fit her small hands.

The dreams that followed involved a different kind of pounding, and Edea woke when the sun hit her eyes through the curtain, groaning and shifting. She could still feel the ghostly sensations between her legs, and wasn't sure if she should be creeped out or turned on. Ghosts, she hated ghosts… and her stomach lurched unpleasantly at the mere thought of it.

Ringabel entered the bathroom as she hunched over the toilet.

"I thought your morning sickness was done," he said carefully as he brushed her hair out of the way.

"No," she admitted, straightening up. "I've been able to control the - the sick itself, but the nausea is still there." And now that she wasn't watching what she was eating and didn't have the Proprietress and her wonderful tea, it was even worse. Edea groaned and leaned back against him.

"I just took a shower last night," she whined. "I don't want another one this morning." But she was sweaty and disgusting.

"A bath, then?" he suggested, rubbing her stomach. "Then we'll eat breakfast and go." She'd been good at hiding her sickness from him, but now that he knew, he needed to prepare, make sure she was comfortable.

"A bath!" Edea declared. "Let's take a bath."

Even if he hadn't quite meant they should take a bath together, he did not turn down her invitation and helped her out of her clothing, careful and gentle in his touches, his fingers massaging her muscles as though to make up for the sickness their baby was forcing on her.

Breakfast would have to be lunch, Ringabel realized somewhat later, as Edea straddled his lap with a smile, her arms wrapping around his shoulders. They weren't leaving the inn anytime soon, it seemed, not that she appeared to care, as lovingly as she kissed him.

Only five more days of this… he'd have to endure.


	10. Goodbye, Days of my Youth

"Ringabel~" Edea whined, kicking her feet slightly on the couch. "Parfait! I want a parfait."

Well, he'd never need a child, not if he had to look after Edea like this, he thought to himself as he moved around the kitchen in the inn's suite. More like an apartment than a regular inn room, he'd rather enjoyed having it as their little home for the past few days, though he missed the Proprietress' hardy, delicious cooking.

"I don't know how to make one," he confessed. "Why don't we go out to eat dessert?" He was already cooking a meal for them, and didn't want the food to go to waste, but the only desserts either of them knew how to make were brownies and cookies.

She perked up at that.

Though he had more than enough money to support their lifestyle, he thought wearily that he had no idea how ordinary men did it. How did they support pregnant wives and children, indulge in whims and wants, and still keep a roof over their heads?

Edea was hardly his wife, of course, but the sentiment was still there. He wanted to keep her comfortable and keep her safe, and buy her sweets when she wanted them most. Take care of her and the baby while he had them both, especially as Edea seemed to like blaming the baby for things.

"The baby wants it," Edea had tried to defend just yesterday morning as she dragged him the market in search of sugar.

"Yes, I'm sure it's the _baby_ that wants enough sugar to choke an dragon," Ringabel had replied, and she'd only glared at him. He had no idea what was she going to do once it was gone and she could no longer pin her bad habits on it.

But well… he had known what he was getting into when he fell for her, he thought as he brought her dinner. As Alternis he had learned to cook the basics, for those nights when he'd been forced to fend for himself on a long mission, and so his cooking was plain and sparse. But it was enough for her, and she gave him a grateful smile as she started eating. That smile was all he needed.

"We've still got a couple of days to go," he pointed out. "We should go shopping for more groceries." He'd underestimated her appetite.

"And sweets."

"And sweets," he conceded. "You're going to make yourself fat."

"I'm already getting fat," she reminded him, leaning back and patting her belly. Ringabel pouted at her.

"We've discussed this - you're not fat, you are pregnant," and he reached over to pat her belly as well. Edea was just barely showing - something that only those intimately familiar with her body would peg as a pregnancy - but it was enough to make his chest swell with manly pride, or something.

Something that died in his chest just as quickly when he reminded himself that she wasn't going to be keeping the baby.

The past few days had been surreal, to say the least. He woke with Edea, spent most of his day with her, and fell asleep with her beside him. It was almost as though they were a real, _normal_ couple expecting their first child, excited and a bit worried. Almost - but whenever they went out into the city he had to keep an eye out to make sure they weren't spotted by Airy, in case their friends decided to go into the city (and why wouldn't they?). He would tense up whenever he saw a flash of light in the corner of his eye, or heard someone who sounded like one of their friends.

And there were times when he had to forcibly remind himself that Edea was scheduled to go to the hospital soon in order to finish what they'd started. It was a countdown that was ever present in the back of his head, no matter how often he might look at her fondly, especially when she decided to wear that pretty maternity shirt when they went out to dinner one night.

Really through, blue suited her much better - really drew attention to her eyes and made her hair pop. And though it was likely his imagination, the maternity shirt had made it more obvious she was expecting, and he had shamefully liked it.

Ringabel dragged himself out of his thoughts in order to finish eating, or Edea would leave him behind - worser still, she might pull him out the door before he finished and leave the food to waste. But as he glanced over at the woman on the other side of the table, he saw that she was deep in her own thoughts, chewing thoroughly on the meat and everything.

"Careful," he teased her. "You might bite your tongue."

She gave him a nasty look and stuck said tongue out at him.

Of course he was concerned about her. Not just because she was carrying his child, but because well - she was Edea. Edea was never one to be quiet for long and when she was, something was amiss.

"What is it?" he asked her.

She looked up at him, surprised. "What? Oh, no. Just thinking," she replied, smiling weakly.

Perhaps it was the universe's way of punishing her for her decisions, but she'd been having all sorts of unwelcome thoughts lately. Thoughts about how she was going to handle being pregnant three months from now. Thoughts about how much she enjoyed being stupidly domestic with Ringabel, on the occasions she wasn't bored out of her mind or he was being dumb and sappy. Thoughts about how peaceful she felt in the early morning, still sleepy from the increasingly vivid dreams and warm from his body heat. Thoughts about how good and safe he made her feel late at night, kissing and touching her until they were both satisfied enough to sleep.

Edea crossed her legs.

"I'm ready when you are."

Dessert was a parfait, something that they special ordered from a restaurant that catered mostly to tourists and actually had the supplies available to make special treats. They would have to awaken the Fire Crystal soon, in order to help the war efforts, Ringabel thinking with a pang that Edea would be ready for battle again shortly.

Edea ate two of her beloved parfaits, and he sat back with a cup of coffee and watched her eat, once again marveling at how she could put it all away.

"I'm eating for two," she reminded him with a grin, spoon in her mouth.

"Congratulations," their waiter said, having swung by with a pot full of coffee for to refill Ringabel's cup. The coffee in Eisenberg was pretty terrible, considering the war, but at least they served it black.

"Oh, thank you!" Edea smiled politely at him until he turned away, before slumping slightly.

"You're not going to be able to pin things on the baby for much longer," Ringabel said, ignoring the way his heart squeezed at the words.

"It's fine," Edea replied quietly.

It wasn't really fine, he thought, biting at his lip. Edea wasn't going to be carrying the baby for much longer. In just a couple of days, the test would be complete and the doctors would give her that potion to 'cleanse her system', and they would move on as though the past several weeks had never happened.

It was for the best, he reminded himself, swallowing down the bitterness in his heart and in his cup. For her, and for their journey.

The sun had set by the time they were finished with dessert, leaving the city aglow with the magma that surrounded it. They took their time returning, taking a walk down darkened alleyways - with the sun down, it was much cooler.

"Just a couple more days left," Edea said as they wandered, swinging their hands between them.

"Yes…" he replied slowly. "Then we'll go to the hospital - I'll let Tiz and Agnès know when you're in there." That way their friends could have some sort of update, and a more solid idea as to when the two would return.

"Do you think the doctor will let them come visit me…? We can tell Airy there was an accident."

There _had_ been an accident, he thought privately. "If you would like, I'm sure we can figure something out. The doctors will likely allow you to have your friends at your side if you need them." He squeezed her fingers.

Edea stopped, and turned to face him. "Stay at my side, Ringabel. Through to the very end."

He bent to kiss her, not caring that they were in public. In the dim light, he only just saw the way her face flushed, and knew that his own was probably matching. "I would have it no other way."

Perhaps he couldn't save his child, but… as the father, he wanted to make sure both mother and baby were comfortable and safe with him.

It was with that in mind that he was especially gentle with Edea that night as they settled into bed. It was still early, but in the past few days, they had started to explore each other more often, now that they had the time and privacy to do so.

"I am going to miss this," Ringabel murmured as he pressed himself against her, their legs entangling. What had started as possibly the most awkward and embarrassing night in his life had led up to some of the sweetest moments he could remember - even with his memories returned. Pleasing Edea, and being pleased in return? He wanted nothing more.

She was a lovely sight underneath him, her cheeks pink and her lips open invitingly, drawing him in with little gasps and moans. Her fingernails dug into the muscles in his back, and though it should have probably hurt, he had always _savored_ that sort of pain, using it to fuel him.

"We needn't stop," Edea offered haltingly, between breaths. "We just have to be careful. Very careful."

The idea that she would even entertain the idea of continuing to be intimate with him after everything he was putting her through warmed him, and he cradled her face so that they could kiss, unable to articulate all of his feelings and wants through words, though he could try.

Ringabel was terrible expressing his feelings, Edea thought later as he dozed lightly beside her after they were finished. He was out of it enough that she could play with his hair, and she wondered if she was motivated enough to get out of bed so she could style it properly, pigtails and all.

No, she really wasn't. Ringabel was warm and sleeping peacefully and she didn't want to disturb him while he got some much needed rest. She'd always liked watching him sleep, because he couldn't talk while asleep, and looked so much like a little boy once all the lines were erased from his features. An adorable little boy, she thought, twirling some of his hair around one of her fingers, and she wondered if their baby would look like him.

That thought came to her mind unbidden, and she swallowed hard, trying not to dwell on it. The past few days, being with Ringabel like this, they had been extremely boring. She wasn't made for domestic things, being a housewife. She was made for being active, being out of the battlefield, upholding her father's ideals, and saving the worlds. But it had been… peaceful. Nice. Satisfying.

_'We want to sweep the darkness from Luxendarc, don't we? And after that's done, the world will be at peace - there will be no battles to fight,'_ she thought to herself, keeping it mentally so she didn't accidentally wake the man who'd started snoring beside her, finally falling into deep sleep. Sex was a sure way to make sure he was knocked out, and he _needed_sleep. Waking beside him gave her the opportunity to see dark bags under his eyes he normally covered with makeup, and she wondered how long that had been going on unnoticed. Surely Tiz had seen, but hadn't said anything.

She sincerely hoped that one day he'd get good rest without sex as a precursor, as much as she liked sleeping with him.

She'd told herself that she wasn't ready to have sex with someone she didn't love, but… this was alright. She was used to it. She liked it. Ringabel made her feel safe, made her feel good, and she couldn't imagine sleeping with anyone else. What she'd told him earlier, while in the heat of the moment, wasn't entirely a lie - so long as they were careful, she didn't see any problem in making love with each other if they needed it.

Still, she was aware she was getting a little too compliant, and it was with that in mind that she settled down for rest, tucking her head under Ringabel's chin and kissing his throat as sleep finally began to grip her. He sighed.

Perhaps it was stress, but her dreams the past few nights had been very vivid. She'd heard stories from her mother that it just happened when a woman was pregnant, but didn't know how she felt about that.

Tonight, she fell into her dream with ease. If she didn't dream of her past, of happier days with her parents and a mute little boy she affectionately called her little brother, who put up with her no matter how many dresses she shoved him into, she would dream obvious fantasies. Of magic lights and flying without an airship, the Holy Pillar granting them superhuman powers. She would dream of fighting the Duchy as equals, enjoying herself as she fought against Einheria, her Master, Alternis, her father. She would dream of saving the world in a bright light.

Tonight, her dream took a different turn.

When she woke, tears had dried on her face and in the corners of her eyelids and she rubbed at them in annoyance. Ringabel was still asleep, the sound of his breathing steady in her ears. His skin was so warm and soft against her own, and she pressed herself a little closer for a long while as she sorted through all the thoughts in her head - until her stomach protested and reminded her that she didn't have the luxury of sleeping in anymore. With a soft curse, she headed to the bathroom, leaving the door cracked open in her haste.

As soon as she felt a little more alive and awake, she stopped to examine herself in the mirror, turning around to see if her stomach was showing anymore… she hadn't really noticed any difference the past few days, but perhaps there _was_ a little more something there, a firm curve in her features that had never been there before. She rubbed circles over the firmness, smiling, and was so caught up with memorizing it that she almost missed Ringabel watching her through the open door.

He covered his face with the edge of the blanket when she looked at him,

"I know you're awake," she stuck her tongue at him as she came back into the bed, rubbing at her face. He sat up with a sheepish grin on his face, a grin that faded when he saw the tear tracks.

"Bad dreams?" he asked, cradling her face with a hand.

"No… not exactly. I dreamt of Master and Einheria." It was not the first time she'd dreamt of them, but the first time she could remember it so vividly - something she owed to the changes in her body. "They were alive. And happy… happy to see me with my child."

"… oh," he said, and started to draw back, stopping only when she touched his arm.

"Master said he looked forward to another pupil to train? Einheria called the baby beautiful, hoped that he wouldn't take after his father." She bit her lip. Even though the dream had faded, she could still hear their voices, the teasing quality in Einheria's voice as she looked over Edea's shoulder at the blond baby she held to her chest.

"A boy," Ringabel smiled. "Hopefully he would be more like Alternis than Ringabel, don't you agree?"

She didn't - Alternis and Ringabel were different, but neither was better than the other! Edea shook her head. "My mother and father were there too, of course." Mahzer had been the first to hold the baby, a bundle of blue, and Braev had cried. She remembered laughing with them both.

"Of course."

"And Tiz and Agnès, and even Datz and Zatz, and the Proprietress. But they didn't hold him… just my parents and me." She thought that even Airy was there, a little light that circled around Tiz and observed them all quietly.

"Wait, was I not - "

"You were behind me the entire time," Edea said, tapping her finger to her chin. She hadn't seen him in the dream but she _knew _he was there. Someone had been holding her from behind, cradling her close, telling her that it would be alright. He'd stroked her hair and massaged her back and stayed with her the whole time.

"Oh, well… I'd be happy to stand behind you," he replied, and reached for her hand.

She allowed him to take it, and after a moment, leaned against him. "My mother told me once that when she was pregnant with me, she used to have vivid dreams. She kept dreaming of female lions, which is how she knew she was having a girl. That her dreams told her how strong and courageous I would be."

"You are certainly a female lion, with a male lion's mane…" He tugged carefully at one wild strand to illustrate his point.

"Watch it."

"It's a very nice mane."

"Perhaps I am having a boy," she said after a few minutes of silence, and her hand caressed her stomach before his covered it.

"Edea…" She didn't have to face him to know that he was probably about to cry. She was reminding him of what he couldn't have, after all. And though the past few days had been a whirlwind of emotions and up and downs for them both, this was definitely a low point. Ringabel wanted the baby so badly, and very soon, it would be gone forever. Everytime they talked about it as their child, it hurt him.

She exhaled sharply and fell back onto the bed.

"Ringabel? Can you get me a glass of water? And a brownie."

The change in topic seemed to surprise him, but he simply nodded and climbed out of bed to fetch her what he asked, pausing only to pull on his discarded drawers. Edea watched him go, then rolled over to press her face into his pillow. She'd needed some time alone! Just a few minutes of peace, alone with her feelings and her thoughts and the memories of that dream.

It wasn't the first dream, she'd had about her unborn child - she'd dreamt about it on and off since she had found out - but it was the first time the dream had seemed so.. vivid. So real. And it was the first one she could recall with absolutely clarify upon awakening. It made everything else seem so wrong. That dream had been her reality, and she felt like she was still asleep now.

She curled in on herself and stroked her belly, and was so absorbed with sorting through everything that she didn't notice Ringabel returning.

He stood there for a few moments with a slight smile on his face, watching her roll around, until he placed the plate with her sweet and the glass of milk down on her side of the bed, and sat beside her.

"I believe milk goes better with brownies than water," he pointed out as he reached to stroke her hair.

Edea jumped, not expecting his return - and flushed as she rolled over to face him, giving him a smile. "I suppose you've brought me milk, then."

"Of course. I pride myself on predicting your every need," he replied.

"Oh, is that so?" Edea laughed as she sat up to take the glass and plate. "Then tell me what else I need."

He faltered for a moment. "You need… well, you need a bath," and he flushed when she glared at him, her mouth full of chocolate. That hadn't been what he meant to say! "You need to eat a real breakfast, a nice big one with sausage and fried eggs and pancakes."

Edea chewed, then swallowed, washing down her pre-breakfast snack with the whole glass of milk. "Not bad. Are you going to make it for me?"

"I'd be delighted," he said, and was standing up when she grabbed his wrist, keeping him from moving too far.

"You're too kind, you know that?" she said, her eyebrows furrowing. Ringabel was eager to cater to her needs, and she knew he'd been doing that since well before she ever became pregnant. He was just - he was too subservient!

"Hardly," Ringabel replied, sitting down slowly. "I enjoy looking after those I care for - were Tiz and Agnès here, I'd be making breakfast for them as well." If Tiz hadn't beaten him to it, at least.

She smiled. "You truly do care for me."

It was a smile that he returned, reaching for her hand. "I do love you, Edea. I'm proud to admit it."

"Too proud," she laughed, but held his hand regardless.

They sat in silence for a few moments before Ringabel moved to stand again. This time, she tugged him down, until he could lie back with her as she got comfortable on the pillows.

"We need to talk," she said, and though he looked somewhat apprehensive, he wrapped his arm around her gently, kissing her forehead.

"I thought we already were? But I'm here."

"Ringabel…" she started, not sure of how to possibly express these things in words. Words were not her strong point. Words did not speak as loud as actions, but there were no actions for what she was going to tell him, were there?

"Edea," he said, a little confused.

"You'll still love me, won't you? Even once this is all said and done."

"Of course," he replied without hesitation. "I've no intentions of doing anything but."

"I know." She smiled at him. "Sometimes I think you're too good for me."

There was silence for a long moment before he replied. "You're the one that's too good for me."

"You'd like to think so, wouldn't you?" She peered closely at him, and he flushed. "Oh come on, Ringabel! Blushing now! After everything we've done?"

"W-well, that's different," he whined, touching his face with the back of his hands. "I'm usually distracted from your beauty when we're… busy."

"When you make love with me," she supplied for him, and he flushed a little more. "When you show me that you still care for me, despite my mistakes. Despite how I might have yelled at you that day, or told you how stupid your hairstyle looked, or how that shirt you wore yesterday really looks terrible in the light."

"It does not - " she cut him off with her finger on his lips and he pouted.

"Will you stay with me, then? No matter the decisions I make?"

"Of course. I can think of no greater pleasure," he breathed.

Good. She swallowed before continuing. It was now or never.

"I think I'm going to keep the baby."

Whatever he had been expecting her to say, it wasn't that. His face turned pale and he sat up, his eyes searching her face. She watched him, wondering if he would pass out the same he had at the first news of her pregnancy, or…

"What?" he finally said, eyebrows furrowed. He hadn't fainted. That was a good sign.

"That dream - all I could think about while watching Master and Einheria was how much I regretted their deaths. How much I missed them. Perhaps they were even trying to remind me of that?" After Kamiizumi had died, and once she'd had the luxury to do so, she'd grieved so much. Everytime they had to travel into another world and face them again, it was as though the hole in her heart was ripped open again, but she tried to face it. She'd had no other choice. Sometimes it was so hard to pick herself up and move on, but she'd had Agnès and Tiz and… Ringabel for support.

She continued.

"I kept wishing that I had tried harder to save them. They died for their ideals, but we were all fighting for the same thing, weren't we? Peace for Luxendarc, some way to sweep the darkness away." It was a thought that she'd had more than once, and over the past week it had been niggling at the back of her head.

"If I couldn't fight to save those so dear to me, why can't I fight to keep my baby, who should be dear to me as well?"

Ringabel looked completely flabbergasted, staring at her face. "You're not joking," he said slowly. "You really wish…"

"I want to try," she said, biting her lip as she sat up. "It's going to be difficult, and I can't _not_ fight, but - I want to try to save the baby's life the same way we're trying to save Luxendarc, the same way I should have tried to save Master's. I told you that I wouldn't regret sleeping with you that night, Ringabel! I told you that. But I already know I can't say the same thing about this abortion. I … might regret it."

He let out a long sigh, and wrapped his arms around her waist, hands shaking. "I don't want you to regret anything," he admitted, and his voice was thick.

"But you do want this baby," she reminded him, and drew his hand over to touch the front of her stomach.

Ringabel sniffled as he nodded. "I want you to have this baby. I want you to love it as much as I love it."

Who said she didn't love it? She realized she'd grown awfully attached to her little parasite, as much as it made her pee and puke.

"You haven't even met it yet," she murmured as he leaned his head against her shoulder. She patted his back carefully. "How on earth can you possibly love something you've never met?"

"I loved you," Ringabel crooned into her ear. "I loved you before I ever set eyes - or ears, as it were - on you."

He was so warm and solid against her, and Edea wriggled slightly against him. "We've talked about this before, Ringabel…"

"My expectations for you were unrealistic, but the feelings were real," he argued. "And now that I've gotten to know the true Edea, the devious little fighter that you are, I'm even more in love." He leaned back so that he could cradle her face in his hands. "Edea, my love… if you truly wish to have this baby, I will remain at your side. Behind you, supporting you every day, just as you dreamed."

It was all she could ask for, and she was aware of her eyes beginning to ache as she reached up to touch his hands. He looked so happy, the darkness erased from his face and his eyes for the first time in forever. She'd never seen him look so joyous and it made her own heart sing in response.

She nearly missed what he said next. "Will you marry me?"

"What? No!" she said and instantly his face fell, confusion spreading over his features. She sighed and wrapped her fingers around his carefully, before he could pull his hands away. "I don't want to trap you in a marriage just because I'm going to give birth to your baby," she told him, and his frown deepened.

"It's not a trap -"

"I… don't know if I love you," she confessed, and his face grew more serious still. "I care for you deeply. You're one of my closest friends. I'm happy to carry your child. We both know this. But I can't say that I love you… and until I do, I don't want to marry you… you deserve to be married to a woman who loves you." Even if having a child out of wedlock was frowned upon by nearly everyone, she couldn't marry him if she didn't have feelings for him, it just didn't feel right.

"I really deserve nothing," Ringabel pointed out.

"If you make me fall in love with you," Edea decided, spur of the moment. "The instant you make me fall in love with you, we'll marry. But not a moment sooner." That worked, didn't it? Ringabel would make her fall in love, and then they could marry before the baby was born.

He seemed to accept that, just as much as he had accepted her decision to terminate her pregnancy. She could tell he wasn't very _happy _with it, but he said nothing more. He simply nodded and leaned forward to kiss her forehead.

"But I will be your girlfriend," she offered. That seemed… fair. They were sleeping together, and she was going to have his child. Wasn't there some sort of unofficial rule that stated that made them a real couple?

"You don't have to do that for me," he replied.

Edea sighed. "I'm not doing this for you - okay, yes I am, partially," she admitted. But she leaned against him. "I'm doing this for myself as well, and for our baby. How can we possibly strive to save all of Luxendarc when we can't even save the life within me? How can I call myself a hero, when to my own child, I'm anything but?"

"You are - " She cut him off with a finger.

"This is the right thing to do," she told him, swallowing. "P-perhaps it's not the smartest thing, and it's not easy, and it will be so difficult, but. This is the right thing. For me, and for you, and for your child."

"Our child," Ringabel corrected, and his voice was thick. "Our child, our baby - Edea, we're having a baby together." He said, as though he'd just realized.

"Starting that family you've always longed for," she teased him gently, leaning over to kiss his chin. "I've accepted this - I've grown used to this, really. What we have, and how I feel about this little life in me. I don't want to end it now."

He was beginning to cry, though she didn't think he noticed, his lower lip trembling as he nodded. She smoothed some of his tears from his face and let him hold her close, giving him the time he needed to recover. His heart had been so hurt because of her, but perhaps he would be able to begin healing now?

Long moments passed with the two of them holding one another, shifting only to press kisses against shoulders or temples. Edea was so comfortable that she could have fallen back asleep, but eventually Ringabel leaned back, his eyes clear and his face a little less splotchy.

"We should celebrate," he told her with a giddy smile on his face, his thumbs caressing her cheeks. "Babies are cause for celebration."

"Celebrate with food, I hope," she muttered, realizing that her brownie had done nothing to sate her hunger, and the baby wanted real food!

"Of course," and he kissed her forehead, then bent to kiss her stomach, before getting out of bed. "Nothing but the best for my girlfriend and child. My girlfriend and child!" He announced, throwing his arms up into their air.

Oh dear. She smiled at him. "Getting a bit carried away, aren't you?"

"Not in the least," he replied, but there was such a big smile on his face that she didn't feel like arguing.

Breakfast was a treat, a real treat at a nearby restaurant where Ringabel let her order anything and everything she wanted from the menu. _Everything._

There was so much she couldn't finish it all, and while they would have to take a good portion of it back to the inn to eat later, she ate what she could. With her mouth busy, there wasn't much talking to be done, so she watched Ringabel drink coffee and eat his own breakfast as he gleefully told everyone who walked by and stared that his girlfriend was eating for two.

"The whole city will know by nightfall," she teased him as they made their way back to the inn. Ringabel was carrying the bags that contained the rest of her meal, which would have to keep her for the rest of the day. She had a feeling that once they got back they wouldn't be going out again.

And she was correct - once they returned to the inn, and once everything had been packed away, she crawled into bed with him and stayed there. It wasn't just sex. It was cuddling. It was love. Ringabel was gentle and sweet, and she stayed in his arms and allowed him to fully memorize her body before her pregnancy changed it too much. Allowed him to have some quality time with his unborn child now that the weight on his heart was gone.

They left the bed only to eat and to bathe, both of them finally surrendering to the emotions that had been welling up between them, and Edea had never felt so at peace with her life than when she was with him. This felt right. This was the right decision. It was going to be a hard decision to follow through on, but in her heart she knew she'd made the right choice for them. They would figure out the details later.

The next morning was a more painful, realistic affair. She woke, aching all over, and groaned, and reached for him - only to realize the bed was empty.

"Ringabel?"

Had yesterday been a dream after all…? Edea sat up and pushed her hair out of her face. "Ringabel!"

There was a noise from the living room, and he appeared in the doorway, wearing only his drawers, his hair pinned back from his face. "You're finally awake. How do you feel?"

"… Sore," she grumbled, and he smiled at her.

"I tried to wake you earlier but you hit me and demanded a few more moments. Do you feel up to a bath now?"

Now that he mentioned it, she _did_ remember hitting him earlier when he'd tried to rouse her. She flushed. "Carry me into the bathtub." She didn't think she could _walk._

He seemed all too happy to indulge her whims, or perhaps just realized that she really did need the help, and as soon as the two of them were settled into the wonderfully hot water, Edea leaned her head back against his shoulder, and cradled their hands together against that curve in her lower stomach.

"I should go to the hospital today."

"Why?"

"To let them know my decision," she decided. "And because well - I have no idea what I'm doing, Ringabel. What if I need something to make sure the baby's healthy?"

What if she'd hurt it somehow in these past couple of weeks? She had tried to be careful, had wanted to nurture it while she still had it, but she was well aware she had slipped up in her impatience. And what if that fight against Praline had really harmed it somehow? It worried her.

She could feel him exhale loudly. "The baby will be fine." But before she could argue, he took another deep breath and a white glow surrounded his hands, causing her to jump slightly. She waited for him, for all of a second, before following suit.

White magic - magic in general - wasn't exactly her strong point, but she was in a safe place, and a place that made it easy for her concentrate and she closed her eyes and breathed, trying to match the rhythm of his chest.

Magic was easier if she had the asterisk, but she managed. Her own life force was a bright-hot light under her skin that nearly drowned out her senses and she had to force herself not to pull away. Ringabel guided her hands to the right spot and she wasn't sure, but she thought she could feel a smaller light simmering amongst her's. Maybe.

"Baby seems healthy," Ringabel kissed her ear. "As strong as ever."

"I'll take your word for it," she sighed as she let the magic sense dissipate. "I don't think I'll be able to feel it." But she had _seen_ it - before. on that machine. That was a plus.

"Not until you're further along, perhaps," he suggested, and the glow on his hands vanished as well as he shifted underneath her, his hands wrapping around her waist.

She was nervous about that - about continuing to grow, but she wasn't going to change her mind again. Her final decision - carry to term. Have Ringabel's baby. Bring life into the world, a ray of hope where it was needed most.

She and Ringabel - and their friends - would just have to figure out _how_.

Edea hadn't thought that far when she made her choice…

How in the world was she going to carry to term without being a burden on their little team? Without dragging them down, and preventing them from reaching their goal? How was she going to do this, and without Airy being any the wiser?


	11. Dressed in Innocence

_Dearest Tiz,_

_It is with the utmost pleasure that I announce that Edea and I are doing well. Edea is doing especially well. This little romantic getaway has done wonders for our relationship, and I hope to invite you to a wedding soon._

_While we would love nothing more than to join you and Agnès and Airy, it will be a few additional days before we can grace you with our continued presence. Those items I've commissioned from the weapons master here are nearly done! They are quite lovely, well worth the wait._

_I'm very pleased to announce that our dear, beloved Edea has decided to keep baking despite all circumstances. More details later. She says to tell you to tell Agnès 'thank you'._

_Love always,  
>Ringabel<em>

_Hi Tiz! Don't listen to him please. We'll talk later. - Edea_

* * *

><p><em>Dear Ringabel,<em>

_Agnès and I await your return. Airy would like you to buy some of those of those biscuits she likes, and can you pick up more books from the bookstore next to the magic shop? Agnès has said she's missing the next one in that series. She said you would know the one_

_Please tell Edea that we say hi, and that we're happy to hear she's doing well. Agnès says that she would like confirmation that Edea is 'accepting of the Crystal's blessing' if that's what your last letter was meant to say._

_Hope to see you soon! Please take care and try not to get in trouble. I hope you're able to bring some pg back._

_Respectfully,  
>Tiz Arrior<em>

* * *

><p><em>To my most respectful Tiz,<em>

_Biscuits have been purchased for our fair Airy, and please tell Agnès that the next two books were in stock, and she shall have them shortly._

_We'll return in two days time. If I may, please ensure that yourself or Datz are available to help me carry our items up to the deck! Edea is far too delicate for such a task. It would be helpful._

_(NOT DELICATE.)_

_Edea says that yes, Agnès, she's listening to the Crystals this once, and will give her all the juicy details once we've returned. She also says hello to you too, Tiz, and is requesting that you make the Proprietress aware of our return time so she can have some parfaits ready. Please and thank you._

_With love,  
>Ringabel and Edea Lee<em>

* * *

><p>"We're back! Did you miss us?" Edea called several days later as she boarded Grandship. Tiz was airing out a bit of laundry on the deck, and came to greet her, smiling cautiously.<p>

"You're back! … Are you okay? How was it?"

"It was eventful," the woman replied, but stepped aside. "Ringabel's trying to carry too much. Can you help him before he hurts himself?"

Ringabel had followed through on his story and actually picked up all the commissioned items from the weaponsmith. It had taken the master a few days to finish up the order, and while Edea had enjoyed the extra time with Ringabel in the inn, she was glad to be back on Grandship. The fresh, clean air made her feel more alive than ever, and they were so far up that she could barely feel the heat from the magma.

She watched Tiz hurry down the steps to help Ringabel and leaned carefully against the railing, waiting for them to return. Ringabel had of course carried the bulk of the weight on their return trip from Hartschild, and it had slowed them down until Edea finally lost her patience and taken some of it from him. When would he learn she was stronger than he! And that she wasn't made of glass and really, she could carry her own pack without hurting herself or the baby.

"What did you even buy?" Tiz huffed as both men came onto the deck.

"I told you in my letter, did I not? Sunlotion - enough to last us for years - a few new weapons, things."

Weapons and items for Datz and Zatz, and the most important thing of all - a set of sturdy new mugs for the Proprietress - carefully wrapped up to survive the trip. Edea had offered to carry them before he inadvertently broke them.

"It feels like you bought half of Hartschild," the brunet said as he set down Ringabel's pack.

Ringabel laughed. "We did, but we left it there… there's no point in bringing food back when our lovely pub serves the best food in any world. I have missed it, by the way. What's for dinner?"

"I'm ready to eat," Edea sighed wistfully. They'd given away the leftovers from their stay in the inn to charity, all except the latest batch of brownies that she had polished off already on their trek back to the ship. "I need a parfait." One of the Prioprietress' extra special ones.

"You two seem like you have good news," Tiz said carefully, smiling a little as he looked between the two blondes.

Ringabel returned the other boy's smile. He had tried to explain via code that Edea had changed her mind and that the _three_ of them would be returning to the ship. He was glad to see Tiz had caught on, even if he still seemed unsure - was the message really so unclear?

Edea now looked to make sure the coast was clear, before beckoning Tiz close. As soon as he was within arm's reach, she pounced, reaching for his hands. "I've changed my mind," she told him in a low tone, just in case, but she couldn't keep the smile from her face. "We're going to try and have the baby after all."

The shepherd's face split into a wide smile. "Congratulations! I had thought perhaps that was what the message had meant, but wasn't sure. Ringabel, that message of yours was awfully… difficult to understand.

"I was excited," the other man defended himself. "You try writing a secret message when excited! When the love of your life, the most perfect Angel to ever grace the heavens gives you good news!"

"You're doing well, Edea?" Tiz asked, ignoring Ringabel.

"I'm fine," she told him, squeezing his hands. "Before we left, the doctor took a look at me, and said the baby seems healthy."

Dr. Armstrong had seemed somewhat surprised at her change of heart, and after shooing Ringabel out of the room to clarify with Edea that it was _her_ decision and that she felt safe in her relationship, he'd been extremely supportive in helping her figure out how far along she truly was, and giving her information on what to do to make her pregnancy as comfortable for her as possible. She liked him. Much better than that horrid woman in Ancheim!

If only he had been able to give her advice on how to keep her pregnancy from cryst-fairies and good ways to keep fighting even while she was expecting.

Tiz's eyes flickered down her stomach. She was wearing that maternity shirt again, though she doubted he'd be able to tell - he couldn't even tell the difference between a wrap dress and a robe!

"I'm glad," he said. "We were worried."

She frowned at him.

"It was your decision," he clarified, his cheeks turning red. "There was nothing I could say or do. But I know it's a hard decision to make either way, - so long as you're happy with it, I'm happy for you."

"I'm happy with it," Edea confirmed, nodding. She felt more sure about this decision than she did anything else … at least until she started to think about how she was actually going to make this happen.

It just wasn't possible for her to step away from the battlefield for the next few months! She needed to be able to fight with her friends - needed to be there to support them and make sure they could all survive. Agnès' quest to awaken the crystals couldn't be slowed for her behalf. And once the baby was born, what would they do then? They had declined to bring Egil along with them because they had known they couldn't bring Egil with them… and an infant was much more demanding than a preteen. The mere idea of leaving her child in this world, possibly to never see it again, made her feel sick. This was getting more impossible to plan by the minute.

On the other hand, Edea knew that if she thought something was impossible… she was going to _make_ it possible.

"And," Ringabel interjected, winding his arm around both Tiz and Edea's shoulders. "The most important part is that she's agreed to be my girlfriend, at long last!" he declared, and gave Edea a kiss on the top of her head.

"Really? That's good!" Tiz smiled - a smile which turned to a slight grimace as Ringabel kissed the top of his head too.

"Down, boy," Edea said, grinning. "Stop slobbering all over the nice Tiz, and let's unpack."

Agnès was in the Drunken Pig, Edea discovered as she popped in for a mid-day snack. The Vestal was seated at a table near the bar, a cup of tea and open book near her; and she looked up when she heard the sound of Edea's heels on the floor.

"Edea, you've returned!" She stood and hurried over, leaving her book behind.

"We've returned," Edea replied, stepping forward and wrapping her arms around Agnès' waist for a hug. "I'll give you a full report later," she whispered into the other girls' ear before they separated, mindful of the fact that Airy was lounging on the table that Agnès had just abandoned.

It wasn't as though Edea feared Airy. It was just that she didn't know how the fairy would react to news of her pregnancy, and the fact that Edea would be useless on the battlefield. Would she insist that Edea be left behind? Airy was right in that the crystals came first, and that the world needed the darkness swept away as soon as possible.

A little voice in the back of her head reminded her that they had tried to sweep away the darkness three imes now, with no success, so a little sidetracking and slowness would be fine, .wouldn't it?

"Are you well?" Agnès asked as they pulled apart, frowning.

"I'm fine. Never better!" Edea replied, and when Agnès' frown only deepened, she sighed. " Things didn't go as planned," she decided on, unsure of how else to put it. Nothing about this whole situation was planned.

"You took forever to return," Airy commented as she fluttered over. "Is everything alright?"

"Everything's fine, Airy!" Edea laughed. "Ringabel just really wanted to buy those items - oh Agnès, you should see what he got you!" The staff that Ringabel had had made specially for the Vestal was identical to one that Edea had seen Agnès mourn over in worlds past. Ringabel had made sketches of it in his notebook, and Edea had never seen such a sweet gesture.

The sword he had made for her had the same hilt and guard as the one usually used by her father, though the blade itself was much thinner and more manageable, and the shield that was meant for Tiz had a Norende design on it, something he claimed that Tiz himself had drawn one, when Ringabel had asked for it.

It was times like this that Edea remembered that Ringabel, for all his oddities and inappropriateness, was actually a kind man, and that she was lucky to have him as the father of her baby.

"Don't I get anything special?" Airy pouted. "No one thinks to buy me anything unless I ask… it's like you guys really don't think of me at all. Agnès is the only one who really cares."

"Now Airy," Agnès started. "That's not true - of course we all care for you. We've simply no idea what a cryst-fairy could need or want."

"Unless you'd like clothes," Edea interjected. "Oh please Airy, let us buy you new clothes!" It wasn't that Airy's outfit wasn't cute, it was that she wore it all the time. "I still think that something bright pink would look so, so cute on you."

"There's nothing wrong with my clothes!" Airy said. "These are the proper vestments of a cryst-fairy."

"And they look great on you. But… you need a little color. A little pizazz." Edea tapped her chin. "I'm sure we could find things for dolls that would fit you."

"I'm not a doll! Even more important, are you now ready to go to the Temple of Fire?"

Edea sighed. "We're as ready as we ever will be."

"But Edea," Agnès started, only to be cut off when Edea raised her finger.

"Ringabel and I are now ready to go as soon as we settle back in, Airy." Though she was sure Ringabel had a few more delaying tactics up his sleeve, knowing him.

"Good," the fairy said, and she landed on Edea's shoulder. "You two had me worried there for a while… we thought that maybe you didn't want to keep going on Agnès' journey to save the world."

Who was that we? Edea shook her head. "You know we do, Airy. No need to worry! Especially now that we've got all that sunblock. Even a fairy doesn't need to worry about a sunburn now!"

Whatever reply Airy might've said was cut off when Ringabel entered the pub with a loud noise, the Proprietress' new mugs carefully held in his hands. Edea thought he might have faltered somewhat when he saw Edea and Airy together, but if he did, he was very good at moving past, announcing to the Proprietress that he had paid her back threefold, and wasn't he such a good man?

"You're a good man, and you're going to be a good father," Edea told him in a hushed tone later that night as the four of them gathered together in blondes' room. It was closer to morning than it was evening, and Airy had been asleep for some time. She was unlikely to stir, so long as they were quiet.

Ringabel flushed, and couldn't even come up with a response to it, his arm wrapping around Edea's waist instead as he buried his face in her hair. Edea reached up to pat his head.

"I'm glad that you've reconsidered," Agnès said, keeping her voice quiet, so that the fairy in the next room wouldn't hear. "Your child is a blessing upon us."

Edea still wasn't sure it was a blessing, but she held her tongue. "It's going to be interesting, surely."

Ringabel straightened up, his blush fading. "We've certainly got our work cut out for us. The doctor advised we've got at least six months until she's due - and I'm not keen on the idea of her fighting alongside us in her condition."

Even though Agnès and Tiz nodded their agreement, Edea huffed. "I'm not _not_ fighting alongside you. I'm needed, aren't I?"

They were all ominously silent, and she growled.

"I am needed! I refuse to let you fight without me! I… I won't stand for it!"

"Edea - " Ringabel started. "I know well that three heroes of light can stand against the Crystal Beasts, so - "

"Yes, but there's just no guarantee that will work forever! We should take four fighters if we can - otherwise we risk losing it all."

When he flinched, and his mouth set into a hard line, she realized what she'd just inadvertently reminded him of. "I'm sorry," she said, reaching up to touch his face, biting her lip. She didn't know the details, just that her counterpart had perished at the hands of a monster in the Holy Pillar -_not_ one of the Crystal Beasts. And that monster had never appeared during their trips through the Holy Pillar. Nothing to worry about.

"It's fine," he replied, relaxing a little. She slid her hand over his and moved it to settle over her stomach. After another moment, he leaned his head against her shoulder.

"That's all the more reason we shouldn't let you fight," Tiz said. "It's dangerous. You could get hurt - and even if you recover, your child may not. Could you do that to yourself, and to Ringabel? Lose your unborn child in a fight?"

No, she couldn't - not when she'd just decided to carry to term. Edea bit her lip hard, fingers tightening over Ringabel's hand. "I can't see you off to fight Chaugmaur or Rusalka or even Gigas Lich, I just can't sit back and hope you come back." The idea of trying to be a parent without her child's father, or even without her friends, made her throat constrict.

"What if I was support only?" she continued. "If I stood in the back and was the healer, or used Rampart every round? It would help all of us." It would minimize the pain any of them would need to go through. "And… and Ringabel can physically protect me as well, you know he'd do that. It worked against Praline!"

She'd been so proud of herself for coming up for a tactic that might work in battle, and it had done the job pretty well! She'd only gotten one hit, and that had been to her arm, not anywhere near her torso, and the baby was fine.

"Edea…" Tiz started, but she cut him off.

"I'm a part of this group… you're my friends. I don't want you to be hurt because I'm not there to help. And Agnès, are you saying that you'll just allow the darkness to cover the crystals until I'm well enough to fight?"

"That isn't what I'm suggesting," Agnès replied. "Awakening the crystals is our first priority, however I'm sure we'll find some way of defeating the Crystal Beasts even if you're not there."

"No!" Edea cried, and immediately shushed herself, aware she'd raised her voice. Ringabel's arm tightened around her.

"Edea, my dear…"

"Don't 'my dear' me," she groused, and wrenched herself out of his arms, standing so that she could face all three of them. "I-I know that I need to take responsibility and be careful for my child, and I intend to! But I want to be there for you as well. It's what I'm here to do, to support you in your quest, Agnès, you can't just put it aside for me. The sooner that we cleanse the crystals of darkness, the sooner that Great Chasm will be erased, Tiz - Norende's counting on you! And Ringabel, Ringabel…" This was a low blow, but she was going for it. "Would you allow yourself to die and abandon me and the baby? If I can't fight beside you, then who knows what may happen to you all!"

There was silence in the room and Edea felt horrible, not just at the idea of no longer being useful to her friends, but also what she'd said to them. She turned away and scrubbed at her face. It wasn't that she wanted to put herself at risk, but she couldn't lose her friends in battle either. She couldn't. If she wasn't there to fight with them, then what use was she? They may as well just leave her in this world to have her baby and become a housewife.

She wasn't aware she was sniffling until she felt Ringabel's hands on her face. "Don't cry," he said, his voice thick. "No one's abandoning you." His arms wrapped around her shoulder and held her tight, before he guided her to the bed where Agnès and Tiz were sitting.

"We want you at our side Edea," Agnès said, and as soon as Ringabel was seated with Edea on his lap, she leaned in close to the other girl, resting her head on her shoulder. "Truly, I can't imagine fighting without you. But as you want to nurture your child until its birth, we want to protect you."

"We're not going to just abandon you," Tiz continued, and while he leaned his head against Ringabel's shoulder, he reached for Edea's hand. "Agnès is right - I can't imagine fighting without you there to beat all the monsters into submission."

She smiled. "I don't always beat them… you do a lot of that too."

"I won't die until - well, not for years and years, I promise," Ringabel said, kissing the top of her head. She sighed. "What sort of man abandons his wife and child?"

"We're not married yet, Ringabel."

"But we will be soon, I assure you. If you'll take me as your husband before the baby's born, I'll be the happiest man in the world."

Her eyes ached, and Edea rubbed at them angrily with a fist. "I'm not really showing yet," she said slowly. "I'll be fine so long as I'm in armor. Chaugmar is - we already know its weak point, don't we?" They had learned it by accident in the first world, when Ringabel had grown impatient with the thing's barrier, and thrown many of the things in his pack at it. "All we have to do is take it down before it can strike us. It'll be easy."

It would be risky, but easy! She was sure of it.

Ringabel's fingers were drumming against the firmness in her lower belly as he thought. "I suppose that if we stock up on those items, we can use those to whittle its health down before the barrier comes down. We'll just have to make sure it doesn't target Edea."

"The Ninja asterisk has the ability to divert enemy attention from me," Edea piped up. She liked playing Ninja! It did a fair amount of damage and it was fast, and she could hold two weapons to stab things with. "And I can still use Rampart, just in case." The idea that her father's asterisk would help protect his child and grandchild warmed her a little, though she wasn't ready to admit that.

"And I know Performer will allow me to direct enemy attacks my way," Ringabel mused. "If I combine that with Knight, it'll boost my defense and allow me to protect Edea if necessary. Meanwhile, Agnès and Tiz, you two will be free to attack Chaugmar as much as you like - I can direct its attention away from you as well."

"… are you sure about this?" Tiz asked.

"I would rather Edea be where I can see her, than have her causing mischief who knows where," Ringabel replied. "At least this way I can ensure that she's safe from harm. You know as well as I that if we try to leave her behind, she'll come after, all by herself."

"She likely would, yes," Agnès said.

"Yeah, she would. We'd turn around and she'd be lobbing fireballs at Chaugmar from behind us," Tiz said, and the three laughed.

"I'm right here," Edea said, but there was no real bite behind it. She squeezed Tiz's hand, and wiggled slightly against Ringabel and Agnès with some glee. "The Fire Temple is just a day's trip away with Grandship. Once we defeat Chaugmar and awaken the Crystal, we also buy ourselves some time… I'm not ready to tell Airy that I'm expecting, not just yet."

"There's no real reason to keep it from her," Agnès said softly.

"Alright, Agnès. You go and tell her that I'm pregnant - with Ringabel's child, no less - and that we will need to stop all progress on awakening the Crystals until after my child is born," Edea said, frowning. She knew Agnès didn't like to talk about Airy as though she were the enemy, and still wanted to include her in as many discussions as possible, but this was different!

"… she would be very displeased that we may need to wait some time, but - well, your child is a sign of hope. As a representative of the crystals, Airy should be happy that you were able to conceive in such difficult times."

"We'll figure something out," Ringabel said in a quiet tone, kissing Edea's shoulder, and then the top of Agnès' head. "But let's wait on telling Airy. Edea's still with us on our fighting team, at least for now. Once we finish the Fire Crystal, let's head for Florem and we'll have to go from there."

Edea leaned back against him. "We'll be fine. I'll be fine. The baby will be fine. Ringabel can draw Chaugmar's attention, and Tiz and Agnès can attack it with everything they've got, and I'll be our support and healer! Perfect plan."

It sounded perfect. She was going to make it perfect.

"There's no need to worry about the baby. With Ringabel and I as its parents, you know it's hardy and strong." She attempted a laugh, but could feel her stomach churning with sudden doubt. Now that she had successfully, albeit not very efficiently, convinced her friends that she belonged on the battlefield with them, she worried for the baby within her. Everything sounded good as a plan, but any monster could be unpredictable - what if it attacked her despite their precautions? She'd have to use a shield, too.

As if he could sense her doubt, Ringabel squeezed her waist. "If the baby is anywhere near as stubborn as its mother, then it'll be fine."

But as sure as he sounded, he confessed to Edea his apprehension over the plan as soon as Agnès and Tiz were back in their room and the two blondes were alone.

"I don't like it. I don't like the idea of you being out there in your condition," Ringabel said, his voice somewhat bitter as his fingers walked over her exposed stomach. Neither of them were in the mood for sex, but Edea had at least taken her shirt off so he could run his hand across her bump, hoping to soothe him. It worked, a little.

"I'm not made of glass," she sighed. "But you said it yourself. If you don't let me come with you, I'll find a way to follow you. I know the path the Temple of Fire well - I'm sure I can navigate it on my own, so long as I don't fall into any lava."

When he went quiet, she again realized her mistake. "… I'm sorry," she said. "I'm not going to fall into lava, I promise."

"There's nothing you should apologize for," Ringabel mumbled, and she could feel him hesitate before he shifted to lean his head against her shoulder. She wrapped an arm around him, turning slightly into his warm form, plenty used to how he felt against her by now.

"There's plenty I should apologize for," she argued. She was simply terrible at it! "What I said earlier was cruel of me. You did your best - and you have continued to do your best. I know you'll protect me and the baby both."

"Mmm," he murmured. She smoothed some of his hair away from his face, smiling just a tiny bit.

"I meant it when I said you're going to be a good father. I - perhaps I won't be a good mother, but I've got you with me. You're going to look after us and protect us and bring us all the parfaits in the world that we want."

Ringabel chuckled, and she found herself relaxing just a little at that sound. "You're going to be a great mother, Edea, though I am sorry it's happening a little earlier than you may have planned."

"Don't be sorry," she replied with a sigh. She refused to regret sleeping with him, and refused to regret the decision she had made to keep and raise their baby. "Agnès said that the Crystals blessed us for a reason, right…? We'll figure that reason out. I'm not sorry I'm having the baby. You shouldn't be either."

He sighed a little, before leaning up to kiss her forehead.

"I'll protect you both with my life," he said in a low tone, his eyes closed. "I swear it."

"You're a regular Knight in shining armor," Edea teased, but his gesture and words had filled her heart with warmth.

"Really? I always thought the Dark Knight armor was more matte than glossy. Surely not as a shiny as the Grand Marshal's," Ringabel mused. The armor was meant to make him look intimidating, not awe-inspiring as Braev's had been. As the Dark Knight, he had cut a figure that spoke of anger and pain rather than light and justice, but he had been proud of his armor nonetheless, taking care to make sure it didn't rust and was always polished and clean, no matter the fights he'd been in.

Edea smacked his arm. "It was shiny enough! And you look good as a knight - all strong and handsome. It's a different look for you, but it's good."

He pouted. "Are you claiming I'm not always handsome, Edea? That wounds me." But his pout faded to a grin, and the fingers at her belly tickled her side. She squealed, flushing at how loud a noise she made, squirming away from him. But now the both of them were laughing, and it was with a smile on her face that Edea pulled him down for a kiss, cradling his face and seeking his forgiveness for the cruel words she had said earlier. She still had a lot to learn about being someone's partner, let alone a mother!

Ringabel pulled back when she groaned in annoyance. "My kissing that bad?"

"No, no, that's not it at all," she sighed, pecking the tip of his nose. "I'm simply thinking about being… a mother."

It still felt surreal to her, to consider that in only about six months time, she would officially be someone's mother. She wasn't ready for that!

… she would _have _to be ready for it. She had gotten herself into this mess, and while Ringabel was at her side, and her friends were supporting her, she had only herself to blame. Her child deserved a good mother - and while she knew Ringabel would be a wonderful father, giving his child everything he had so cruelly missed out, she didn't know if she could be a nurturer like her own mother.

Her boyfriend gave her a crooked smile. "You'll have some time to get used to the idea," he said, and his hand found hers, their fingers interlacing. "And your beloved husband will of course, help you every step of the way."

"We're not married yet," she reminded him with a frown. "You've yet to make me fall in love with you."

"Before the baby's born," Ringabel said, tucking his head against her shoulder. "I've a foolproof plan to have you swooning for me so that we may say our nuptials well before the baby's due."

She sighed, and reached up to pat his head with her free hand, but didn't know how to respond to that, and the two of them fell silent as they settled into bed.

"In all seriousness, Edea," Ringabel said, pulling the blanket up over her chest. "You're young to be a mother, and I know it's just been… forced upon you. But you're a wonderful woman, with a compassionate and caring heart. You'll love your child as surely as any mother, and care for it with all of your being. I already know this."

"Thanks," she said softly, turning her head to kiss his cheek. "Fatherhood suits you. Your child will never want for anything."

"Neither of you will want for anything," Ringabel breathed, and his arms came up to embrace her more fully. "I promise."

It was a promise Edea appreciated, and a promise that she knew he would keep.

And it was a promise that she held him to several days later, once they finally started for the Fire Crystal.

"Why couldn't the Temple of Fire be in the middle of something a little less hot," Edea moaned as she leaned against the worn bricks of the temple, finally out of the volcano and into the relative coolness that was the temple. "In the middle of a snow drift? Perhaps the middle of a nice forest, surrounded by a cool breeze and rushing rivers? I would even accept it being in the middle of a hot spring - but a volcano?"

Ringabel's hands were busy at the small of her back, massaging out the tension she felt there. Though her child's weight compared to her own was still inconsequential, she still swore that it made her back ache twice as much as compared to the previous times they had trekked through the volcano. Either that, or she was getting old.

Tiz and Agnès were seated nearby, on a stone bench that sat near the entrance, presumably for visitors. The Vestal was fanning herself, while Tiz leaned his back against the cooler stone. Even Airy was resting, having hidden away in a cool alcove removed from the heat.

"From what I know, the magma was never so out of control while the Fire Vestal lived… Mt. Karka is in its current state due to her death, and the Fire Crystal becoming consumed by darkness," Agnès explained.

"And once we awaken the crystal, all the mythril in the mine will disappear, and the volcano will begin to calm," Ringabel reminded Edea, his voice low and so close to her ear. "As it has been three times previously."

His thumb pressed right into the knot at the base of her spine and she bit her lip to keep from moaning, though she did let her head drop to her chest. "Yes, yes," she said breathily, wondering how sacrilegious it might be if she pulled Ringabel into one of the side rooms to cool down with him privately.

"I think I'm good to go," Tiz decided, coming back to life slightly and straightening up.

"Can I cast Blizzard at the stone? Please? I'm not ready for it yet," Edea sighed, and her hand rubbed against the front of her stomach. She would gladly blame her current discomfort on her little passenger, all warm and cozy inside of her… though she hoped the heat wasn't affecting it. Him. Her.

"I hardly think that's necessary, Edea," Agnès started, then trailed off. "However, if you feel you need to, then go ahead. Please aim it near the entrance, where it will melt easily."

"Huh?" Edea glanced up at the Vestal, surprised she was actually allowing her to get away with casting magic on such a sacred place - and only barely missed Agnès glancing away from her hand, still rubbing circles across her lower belly. Oh. So that was it.

Edea didn't like the idea of being treated special just because she was expecting. It made her feel… weird. Odd. Like she had been reduced to her womb. Like all the years of blood and sweat and tears in her training had vanished the instant her child had been conceived. It… made her upset, and she bit her lip.

Ringabel of course noticed, and he looked at her with a furrowed brow. "I'll cast it," he decided, and gave her a pat on the shoulder before firing off a quick spell toward the stone near the entrance to the temple.

The coolness was wonderful, and Edea closed her eyes to help stave off the stinging in them, and so that she could focus on the cool that was now radiating from the entrance, though she knew it would be gone soon.

The sound of the spell drew Airy out of her resting place.

"Ringabel! Did you cast a spell on the Temple?"

"It's rather hot, Airy," Ringabel replied. "I'm hot! It'll melt in just a few moments, there's no reason why we can't cast magic on the stone… it's not as though it will feel it. It's stone."

Edea could feel him tensing, and wrapped her fingers around his wrist, hoping he wouldn't snap at the fairy.

Airy's rant continued. "It's the Temple of Fire! A holy place for Crystalism. You should show some respect! What if the spell were to do something to the Crystal? Even though it's mired in darkness, it's still delicate, after all. Would you disregard Agnès' hard work so far just so that you can get a little relief from the heat?"

"It was my idea, Airy," Agnès cut in quickly. "I gave him permission to cast it, so long as it was near the entrance where it could melt easily."

Airy was quiet for only a moment. "If you said it was alright Agnès, I'll accept that… but you should be careful. You don't want the Temples to be compromised either, do you?"

"Of course not," Agnès said, and Edea could see her clutching at her dress with tight knuckles. "I-"

"Speaking of the Crystal," Ringabel said, interrupting Agnès and tugging away from Edea. Tiz's mouth snapped shut as the older boy spoke. "Don't you think we should be checking on it, Airy? As you said, it is delicate - who knows if it's mired in darkness or not! We should look."

It was.

Edea knew she should expect it by now, the familiar sight of the darkness covering the crystal. But it was still disheartening.

The same thing over and over. When would it ever end?

There was one advantage to fighting the same monster multiple times. By now they knew its weakness. They had it down to an _art_. And as they planned, Edea covered herself in the armor so similar to her father's, and dual-wielded Shields, just in case. A bit ridiculous, in her opinion, especially considering that Ringabel was beside her with his own shield (and that crazy looking white costume that he claimed was his absolute favorite).

Chaugmar was interested only in Ringabel, drawn in by the tune of Catch Me, and that gave Agnès and Tiz free reign to bombard it with items that set it ablaze over and over. Edea even lobbed one at the flying mass of … whatever it was when she realized how very close they were to defeating it, and how Ringabel cringed each time it drew his life force, gritting his teeth to keep from crying out.

It pained her to see it. Her child's father was an odd man who, in another lifetime, might have grown stronger with that pain, but Alternis - Ringabel - had since changed. His exterior had more or less become as gentle as his interior had always been, and she hated that he was putting himself through this for her. For their baby. It might be a story they could tell the child once it was old enough to appreciate how very much its father loved it, how very much its father had loved Edea.

But for now, she wanted it to be over and done with.

Quicker than ever before, with their tactics working perfectly, the monster disappeared into nothingness, and Ringabel fell to his knees, exhausted and tense.

"Ringabel?" Edea said, putting her hand on his shoulder. The Asterisks she held in her pockets weren't very good for healing, but she should still be able to cast _something_ to give him more energy and life.

"I'm fine, Edea," Ringabel breathed, placing his hand over hers. "That went well. Are you injured?"

"It didn't even look at me," she replied. "You… "

"Protecting my wife and child, as I promised," Ringabel replied with a slight grin, taking the elixir that Tiz handed him and drinking it down as quickly as possible. She could see the difference in his form as its magic coursed through him, revitalizing him.

"We're not married," was all she could say, especially now that Airy was fluttering over to them.

"You did it!" the fairy said with delight. "Now hurry up. You should prepare for the Rite of Awakening before the monster comes back!"

Would it? Not for the first time, Edea wondered what had even caused it to appear in the first place. She shook her head, trying to banish those thoughts as she followed Agnès back into the Temple so that the Vestal could change.

As Agnès awakened the Crystal, the light pulsing brighter and brighter with each breath, Edea stayed back and waited with the two men, holding a shield in front of her torso… just in case. She hoped the baby would find the energy from the Crystal soothing, if not its bright, piercing light.

Edea was so absorbed in watching Agnès awaken the Crystal that she didn't notice Ringabel leaning against her until his hand touched her chest and she jumped, barely swallowing her yelp before it could distract Agnès.

"Get your hands off," she muttered, flushing.

"I just want to touch the baby," he replied in a low tone. "Move the shield a little? Please?"

Oh. Edea's face was still warm as she shifted the shield just enough away from her body so that Ringabel's hand could worm between them, until his hand was cradling the front of her stomach, against that firmness he somehow knew how to seek out. His fingers moved in a slow circle across the little bump, and she leaned back against him, as his rhythm matched that of the Crystal.

As soon as the Crystal was awakened, bright hot and blinding, Edea and Ringabel separated before Airy could notice what they were doing, though the heat of his touch remained, even through her armor. Tiz, of course, headed up toward Agnès to check on her.

"Two down," Airy said happily. "We've just two more to go! Which one is next?"

Instead of replying, Agnès fixed her with a tired smile. "Let's return to Grandship so that we can make our plans."

Later that evening, after they had taken long, cold baths and eaten dinner, Edea sat with Ringabel in the room that was now permanently theirs. The organized chaos that was their combined wardrobe and other belongings was strewn about most of the floor and piled on the second bed, the one that had gone mostly unused since they had started sleeping together.

Tonight, Edea sat on Ringabel's lap on the clean bed as he leaned against the wall, facing him and touching him as gently as she could. He'd been healed completely, but she thought there was still some tension in his form she hoped to help him release.

"You foolish man. You could have been seriously wounded or worse," Edea murmured, running her hands across his warm, bare shoulders.

Ringabel smiled at her, his hair still damp from a shower and hanging over his features. He cradled her face, rubbing his thumb across her cheeks before he leaned in to kiss her forehead. "It would have been worth it. Protecting you and our child."

"Mrgrgr." she replied, snapping her teeth at him and causing him to simply smile wider. "I don't wish to see you hurt on my - on our - behalf. You think the baby wants his father to be hurt for him?"

"It's my duty," he said, and pressed his mouth against her bare shoulder this time. "Protecting those I love."

"And my wishes don't matter?"

That flustered him. "O-of course they do, my dear."

"Then understand something, Ringabel," she told him, frowning. "I don't want you hurting yourself - not unless you have to! - because of me and the baby. I… I thank you, for today." He had taken every attack and it had allowed her to fight with her friends and support them the way she wanted. "But please don't let this become habit. We are having this baby _together_ - you must stay whole for him. Promise."

When he didn't say something immediately, she leaned back on her heels, crossed her arms, and stared at him as he looked away from her face.

"Yes, Edea," he finally said. "I understand. No more risks unless it's necessary." He smiled.

The thought of him dying for her while she was pregnant and vulnerable made her feel sick, especially as she knew that he would have no regrets doing so. She would blame the tightness in her chest on hormones, but the mood that had been between them was gone completely, and she moved off his lap, ducking her face down..

"Let's go to sleep," she offered, and had the other bed not been mostly hidden under a pile of clean clothing, she might have asked him to sleep separately from her. But it would be slovenly to move the clothing onto the floor, and she wasn't so cruel as to make him get on the floor instead.

"Sleep will be nice," Ringabel replied, and though they curled up together under the bedcovers, they kept their hands to themselves.


End file.
